DD spent 50 quid on my credit card.

[ohwawawa]

Fucking pissed off right now, DD(13) was on my computer which has my amazon account logged in, she decided that she could buy a a makeup item thats 50 quid. I didnt even realise until today, she had already opened it so i can`t even return it. FFS

I think a lot of MNers would (will) blow up at that.
My feeling is to dock her pocket money until it's paid off & otherwise ignore. Coz it's sounding like attention-seeking at some level.

Make it too difficult for her to repeat this shit (lock your phone, etc) & look for ways to get her to talk to you more in future. She won't get the reward of negative attention & instead create the empty spaces she might fill up with some talking that means she talks to get your attention, rather than spend your money.

I wonder if it's a peer-pressure thing. Jealousy of friends who bought great make up, or hoping that she'll be more popular if she has the expensive make up that impresses people.

I’ve returned all sorts to Amazon even when many months used, you may well be able to get your money back. Including an eyeliner that made my wife’s eyes red. I’ve clearly ignored the point but may still be worth trying.

Yes she has a bad attitude. I don't know what to suggest about that, but definitely keep it from her and deduct it from what she would have got for Christmas presents. You could wrap it up for Christmas!

I would take it off her (which you have) and gift it to her for Christmas with no other gifts.

i'd deduct the money from allowance / pocket money over several weeks and the item would be destroyed into the bin.
i certainly wouldn't use it as i wouldn't know if it was fake.

“In your dreams* ?!? Fucking hell I would be beyond mad at that.

Does she have an allowance? Work out how long it would take to pay back the cost, work out the interest and add that on too. Take the make up away till then

@ohwawawa you never know, your daughter may have a delayed allergic reaction to it. If she comes out in a rash tomorrow you may want to return it just incase. Amazon are usually great in these cases.

You are lucky it was only your daughter and only 50 quid, how stupid to leave an account logged in, you never know when someone could break in and access your computer even if it's password protected, I hope you learn you lesson

As for you daughter is remove the make-up or charge her for it

She should not have done this, of course, and has to pay for it.

I do think though if she's recently changed, perhaps she needs to have a bit more freedom. My children have their own bank accounts and debit cards and are allowed to buy things online (although the 13 year old only if she checks with me first). If it's their money, they tend to feel very differently about the value of things.

I would be asking her how she was planning to pay this back- does she have pocket money/an allowance?

I think things like saying that's all she can have for Christmas is silly- it's just escalating things. I'd be having a one to one frank chat- what's going on with her that she thinks this is ok, and try to find out what's going on in a wider way.

i wouldn't give the makeup back because she stole from you in the first place and i don't think her paying you back so she can have it is really on given her attitude towards you. harsh, but so is life sometimes.

I too would wrap it for Christmas.

You need to have The Disappointed / Loss of Trust Talk.

Explain to her why, from now on, you won't be able to let her use your computer or anyone elses. You will have to discuss your access to her iPad, once you have decided to give it back with all possible links to your accounts and cards removed. Be clear, she has stolen from you. That is not a thing you can lightly ignore and her 'so what' attitude only makes it harder for you to understand her. That you love her and don't want to feel like that about her. That if there are any issues you would like her to feel able to talk to you, not shut you out but that theft and breaking your trust is not something you do to the people you love.

She has to learn that her actions have consequences, but that you could forgive a first transgression if only you could see she regretted her actions and understood the impact of what she did on you!

Yes, I know, all that shaming... but what is the alternative? It wasn't an accident. And if she was remorseful she could have told you then or when it arrived, so you could send it back. Not use and then attempt to shrug it off! She had at least 3 maybe 4 moments when she could have made this right with you!

She got this, dont know if its fake. I have no idea because i dont even wear makeup.

www.amazon.co.uk/Baker-TedS-Bouquet-Cosmetic-Collection/dp/B0773YW8J2/ref=sr_1_17_s_it?s=beauty&rps=1&keywords=makeup&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1543159324&sr=1-17&refinements=p_36%3A5000-6000%2Cp_76%3A419158031%2Cp_72%3A184329031

What a horrid brat. So she bought the item and collected it and started using it knowing full well what she did. She also clearly doesnt care a damn by her attitude.

You need to take away all her favourite items and make her pay it back till she learns the hard way. She needs an attitude adjustment.

No idea if hers is fake but I got one of those sets in a Boots 3 for 2, no way is it worth £59. More like £29 at most.

You really must tackle this OP, for her sake.

If you google it you'll find the Boots offer. You could add that to the lesson she needs to learn... always do your research, even if spending on someone else's card!

I'd be trying to find out why she's adopted this attitude. Just punishing without explaining will get you your money back, but it won't improve her underlying attitude problem- I'd be doing some digging there.
I wouldn't be excusing this- but I would see it as part of something else. Who is she trying to impress? Does she have access to her own birthday/Christmas/allowance so she can save for such items? What is your relationship like that she thinks this is ok?

“In your dreams” 😡 on your behalf. I would now sell something of hers to cover the bill.

Then delete your card from the Amazon account, and anywhere else it’s saved.

@Orchiddingme we have a good relationship, iv`e always given her what she wanted. If she asked me for this i would definitely get it for christmas, so i dont know whats her problem, Shes also been rude to her dad, she swore at him yesterday. Im trying to get to bottom of it.

Once I bought a phone top up with my mums card when I was 15 she smashed my phone with a brick and I never done it again. Granted I got a new phone I’m about 6 months but I still learned

we have a good relationship, iv`e always given her what she wanted.

She sounds spoilt tbh.

I've always given her what she wanted

Sigh, that's the problem. As a Secondary teacher I come across a lot of children that have always been given what they wanted. They're never the nice, pleasant, good-natured ones.

She's suddenly had a change in her attitude, is swearing at her Dad and being super rude to you? Definitely more going on here. She could have got in with a bad crowd, be being groomed or bullied, or stressed about something serious at school. Punish her for what is essentially stealing money from you, but also dig deeper, I really sense there is more to this.