AIBU to not do her hair?

[WeakLeftFin]

So DD is coming up to 14.
She washes/dries/straightens her hair.
But begs me near off everyday to plait it.
What age did you stop doing your DD hair?
I told her she needs to learn to do it as if I carry on she will never learn.
She's now in a shit about it.
But AIBU to not do her hair anymore?
I don't help/do anything else for her, she does makeup/maintenance on herself pretty good. Just not plaits.
I've tried teaching her but she can't get to grips with it. I remember my mum stop doing my hair in YR 7.

My dd is 14 and i regularly do hers. I'm crap at doing my own so understand that she finds it hard too! Why wouldn't you, really? It doesn't take long.

My dd is 10 and does her own hair. She can plait and is learning to braid.

Get her to watch some YouTube videos on how to do it.

My mum always did my hair when i was younger, i cant to anything more than a ponytail in my own hair as an adult.

I’m 27 and still get my sister to braid my hair now and again. Some of us are just rubbish when it comes to hair

Is it really a big issue plaiting her hair ? I’d do it.

I think it’s sweet she still wants you to!

I’m 28 and my mum still paints my nails for me as I’m crap

My DD is 13 and I do 2 braids in her hair twice a week if asked. Her hair is really long. I don't mind at all as I've always done her hair.

I do my ex SIL's hair if it's something she can't do. She's 29. I'd keep doing it as long as I was asked to, but also show her how to do it.

Is it just basic plaits, or french braids?

I'm 37 and can't plait my hair. It's a lovely thing to do with your daughter. If you have the time, make the time. She seems to like you doing it. I guess the time will come when it's not cool any more!

Why wouldn't you keep doing it for her? Why wouldn't you keep wiping her bum or tying her shoelaces at 14? I'll tell you why to those who think it's ok, it's not ok to encourage children who are old enough to do certain things for themselves to be helpless and dependent on other for something like doing their own hair. It's something she can learn to do for herself if she tries hard enough and practices. It's not an excuse to say 'but I'm rubbish at it' - learn not to be rubbish.

I have 3 teen daughters and haven't done any of their hair since they were about 4 or 5... I do help with it for competitions (sports), but that's it. Middle daughter is the go-to for doing it. She learnt from youtube. Yanbu.

I feel like the more I do it then she wont even attempt to do it? I've done it before and shown her how to, even used other DD hair to show. I've shown her YouTube etc (that's how I learnt! I only learnt the past year and it was only to teach both DD's how to!) She says she wont watch them as it's pointless. 'Cause I can't do it'
DD hair is shoulder length. Any plaits, French or normal.
I never minded doing it but I feel like she needs to learn properly.
So she wants them badly and now I wont do it, she will have no choice to actually do it?
It turned from once a week (Sunday) to near off everyday now.

I would do french braids for her, but maybe set a limit of twice a week and she has to learn the rest of the time. Can she not do a normal plait in her own hair, I wouldn't be doing that for her as that's easy, but french / ditch braids are tricky on other people, let alone yourself!

Plaiting is difficult to do properly by yourself so I think you are being a bit unreasonable. I still help my mil plait her hair when she needs it.

My DD2 is 24 and living back at home for a while.
One of my mini pleasures is french plaiting her hair for work! (she's a nurse and has very long hair that needs tying up well)
She can do it herself, but having me do it means it's neater and stays in place, and for me it's a nurturing thing to do and takes 5 mins of my time .

Of course she will eventually learn if you refuse, but at an age when teens generally don't want their mothers anywhere near them, personally I would keep that little bit of mothering going :)

Oh bless her, she obviously likes you doing it. Is it not a nice thing to do for your daughter? Maybe she likes having that moment with you still. It's not a bad thing and there'll be a time when she won't want you to do anything for her.

*french

I can do my own but my DM would plait mine for me right up until I left home for uni! It’s just easier isn’t it? I could do it myself if I had to (and do now, as DH certainly wouldn’t be able to do it for me!) but it was nice my mum doing it for me. At uni I used to plait my friends’ hair for them.

Maybe she likes those few moments of attention from you?

I understand the points of being close to her, her allowing me etc. That most teens don't want their parents near them.
We do a lot of other 'close' stuff together. Once a week we do face masks, we bake 3 times a week, we bike ride at least 4 times a week together.
So she's getting my hands-on attention.
But with the hair, I feel that she wont learn to do her hair at all. She will genuinely leave it unbrushed too because I have to do that to then do the plaits.
I just feel like I would love for her to at least attempt.
To show me she is trying and maybe then not getting it would be more understandable. But the fact she wont watch YouTube. Wont listen to me and her sister. Just says she can't.
She's now currently on shower strike because I said no.

I still do a ponytail for my 16 year old, it just looks better when I do it. Once a year I meet my old school friends and we often revert to our teenage years doing each other her and make up. We still manage to be independent adults even if our hair looks better when someone else does it.

I've never been able to do plaits. My DDs are 9 and 6 and brush their own hair. (They always made such a fuss when I brushed their hair that I had their hair cut and let them do it themselves, which they now do very nicely.

Occasionally a friend who is a hairdresser does plaits for them and they do like it. But I couldn't imagine doing their hair for them regularly again, and definitely not when they're 14, so I'd say YANBU.

I'm 41 and can just about put my hair in a pony tail. I just don't have the knack of plaiting my own hair.