Do your parents stop giving you gifts when your own children?

[JKCR2017]

I don’t want to come across as a spoilt brat expecting presents here, as I’m anything but. But do you think you should stop buying your DC gifts when they have their own children so you buy for the children instead or do you still like to treat your children?

I understand that Christmas is all about children. I have two DC aged 7&3. We like to give them a good Christmas. Me and the OH have always bought each other gifts but have decided against it this year as we are saving for new carpets etc.

I’m asking this because I don’t get presents off my parents since having DC. Yet, my Mil has the opposite view and still likes to treat her children (and me, she is very generous). My grandparents also still buy gifts for my mum but I get nothing off my mum. She buys for her grandchildren, which is great but at Christmas she spends about £500-600 each on my younger sisters (16 and 12). And quite a bit on my 21 year old brother. She also buys gifts for my uncles, my grandparents, their neighbours, friends etc. But I get nothing. Of course my DC get presents (about £30-£50 each) but aibu to wanting a gift? Like I said, I’m not spoilt. I’ve never brought this up not wanting to cause a stir on Christmas but even a small box of chocolates would feel nice. I spend about £30 each on my sisters and brother and usually get my mum and dad something nice.

Mil always gets me a nice gift. And my mum always asks what she gets me so I tell her. Usually she gets me a £50 voucher or a bottle of perfume (I always say she shouldn’t spend so much on me).

My ex and his family (DS’s dad) were also very similar to my in laws. They like to buy everyone gifts.

I’m not sure if I’m just over thinking this? It’s not a financial issue when my mum spends over £1000 on my sisters! 😬

Do you think it may be due to an age thing. Like I seen on threads many who have posted saying that now that their children are adults they have stopped giving them big gifts etc.. I don't know if this is the case with you or not?

A token gift like chocolates would be nice perhaps try and talk to her about it? In a very polite way?

No but I wouldn’t mind personally.

My mum spends money on me, usually £70 or so, then she spends £50-70 on my DD. She does spend about £200 on my brother but he's childless and still lives with her so I kind of expect it.

My dm has always been a bit hit and miss about presents and now lives abroad so we don't usually get presents now. One year she arranged a supermarket shop for us and last year gave us money in a card.

My in laws are still very generous with us and the kids.

Parents carried on giving and added grand kids, siblings dropped them in favour of kids but we seem to have picked up giving token gifts in recent years.

What you describe is quite unusual imo. It would be one thing to say to adult dc that she no longer has the money or desire to buy so many gifts and it's not unusual for families to agree among themselves that they do children's gifts only, but in this case she's spending an absolute fortune on everyone else and excluding just you? I find that odd tbh and it suggests she's deliberately singled you out for unfavorable treatment. Either that or she's a bit hard of thinking .

Anyway, in your shoes I'd move to token gifts "from the dc". Yeah, yeah you don't give to receive etc but in your case I think that would be perfectly justified.

I buy for all my dc and dgc. The nearest I have come to what you describe is that when my cousins’ Dc have children we buy for the children rather than the parents and we do give small gifts to one another (cousins).