To feel so joyless

[Farontothemaddingcrowd]

I am really finding it hard to see any joy in anything. Work has been incredibly pressured lately and I've find it stressful and unrewarding to juggle that with being a single parent of 3. I've decided that no one would ever want a single parent as a partner and I've no time or energy for that anyway, so that feels a bit bleak too.

Then there are Christmas markets, Christmas parties, flavoured christmas vodkas etc. Stuff I would have maybe enjoyed in a previous life, I now just have no interest in. I feel like Scrooge.
My kids keep getting nits and I'm.constantly treating and combing. They lose clothes when they are at their dad's and I have to keep replacing them. Their dad has them every other weekend but they are sleeping at his mum's as he doesn't have much room, so that's not ideal either as she's elderly and forgetful. But I don't feel I can cope without those weekends.
I feel like I'm just going from work to home, work to home and there's no joy. Absolutely none.

These are all little things really, so I don't know why I'm feeling so grumpy. I'm on my own this Christmas as well and I'm worrying about money so that doesn't feel great.

I'm also super anxious. I ran a competition for kids I teach and I don't know how they did yet. It's pretty prestigious. It's been a nightmare to do and I'm panicking that I haven't heard anything because it's been a terrible disaster and my reputation at work is ruined.

Another good reason for a gp check up xx

I totally hear you. I'm in similar situ. 2 kids. Largely absent father. No support locally. Work FT.

I think it's the burden of responsibility that weighs you down. You're always juggling and never seem to do anything well as your mind is always rushing off to tackle the next thing. Work, kids, money, childcare etc etc. It never ends. Then chuck in random stuff like a child being poorly and it feels like the whole thing is unmanageable.

I too have also given up on having a partner for now. I make sod all effort with how I look most of the time. I can't be arsed to meet up with friends but then worry as my life is getting more insular.

No answers I'm afraid... but lots of sympathy as unless you're living the life, I think friends and family don't really understand.

You sound like you are depressed I felt like that when I was jobseeking. I was put on a low dose of amiltyptiline since I was failing to sleep and that took of the edge off my insomnia. I struggle with winter and I take a multivitamin with a mega dose of vitamin D. I also add Spartone to the mixture and it's a game changer for winter. Also get out in daylight at least once a day. Outdoor exercise is the best if possible

I'm so glad I mentioned it now. If it is that, then its quite amazing how quickly you feel up to doing things. Even just having a shower. Actually, even getting up in the morning.
I did feel really sick with my tablets, but thats because I was taking then before eating which is not a good idea. I didn't know as I didn't have the paper info slip in the box. I take them after eating and with a small glass of orange juice to help absorb the iron.

YY to orange juice - I use apple to juice when taking iron to help absorbtion and avoid tea when taking iron. Spatone is iron-rich water which is a bit gentler than iron tabs.

I think society expects us to be happy most of the time or we are labeled depressed
In reality life is generally not very pleasant so it's no wonder we get peed off

take more notice of the little things such as being able to have fresh water , the sea air , the colours and then you may feel better x

Good point lyndar If I take time to write down 5 things I'm grateful for every day, then I normally feel happier and more content. It is very easy to forget what we are thankful for

I'm not sure that will help tbh. But it's a nice idea. I suspect ferritin of 7 isn't helping. I feel utterly wiped out. I don't feel like walking around admiring the colours.

I think if writing down 5 things you're thankful for is all it takes then you probably aren't depressed. I'm thinking my b12 probably needs checking again as well, as that can cause depression. I think too many people linger with low level symptoms because they think it's normal to feel that way.

Don't forget it's OK to say you're not OK. Some people who are close to you could be surprised by this if you are a 'coper'.

And do check out B vitamins. I notice a definite 'lift' when I've taken my B-vit and multivitamin. I also use B12 as a pre-workout.

I think I need the jabs prescribing again probably. Yes I'm definitely a coper. I see it as shameful to admit weakness so I bottle it up.

I can't be arsed with anything where my H is concerned.

Thanks April...

Op - I totally understand. I am a lone parent with just one dc but my life is completely joyless. My dd is lovely but I just so tired of being responsible for everything and not really having a life.

I would love to take a break from work but that’s not an option...

Do you have family you could go and stay with for a bit of TLC?

No absolutely not. I have little family support.

@Farontothemaddingcrowd try it

my life's shit if I dwell on it too and sometimes taking a step back and just being thankful fr little things hellllps

I have tried it. It's the same as saying 'pull yourself together.' I'm unable to do that at the moment and it's not necessarily to do with my life being bad or not. I feel like I'm viewing everything through a grey lens. I'm not going to suddenly feel better because I decide to think positively, though positive thinking is a good thing. I need help. I probably need iron. I need my heavy periods to stop. I need injections of b12 and I probably need a low dose anti depressant. Then I may be able to appreciate colours and fresh water etc. At the moment I can't. I probably need some support with my eating issues as well and looking at pretty colours probably won't solve those either.

Oh Faronto I know exactly what you mean and you are describing how I felt when in the grip of depression. It's just so hard to make yourself care about anything other then getting through the day. All of your physical and mental energy goes on what you absolutely have to do ie cope with work and your dc but there's literally nothing left after that.

I would definitely make a GP appointment as it sounds like you need an antidepressant. I found when I got to the stage you're describing (thankfully not for a few years now) then that's all that would work for me. For me I needed the medication to kick in before I could find the wherewithall to make changes or take action to improve things.

Also faron did I read that correctly - that you’ve been menstruating for 10 days? No wonder you’re suffering vitamin deficiencies ..
somewhere to start, perhaps?

Yes 10 days. I think it's the implant so I probably need it removed.

This winter is particularly hard for people with SAD so maybe that is adding to your feeling.

I agree it might be worth a visit to GP to check ferritin, iron, thyroid etc. Low levels can make you feel really washed out. Could you also get signed off sick to enable you to take a breather - sounds like work has been busy and stressful. Or some TIme off in Lieu of your long hours? I hope you feel brighter soon x

I'm a teacher so time off in lieu doesn't exist. I don't feel I can sign off sick as I'm a HoD and the department needs me or stuff will pile up. It's important my results are good this year. Last time my ferritin was 7. Which I think is low enough to make me feel rubbish.