Is my partner being to hard on our 3 year old?

[Zizismummy]

I have a son who turned 3 In July and he can count but sometimes forgets numbers so he might say 1,2,34,6,7,8,9,12 for example but mainly misses out 5 . His dad thinks he is behind because he can't do it right every single time and because of that he has become very strict with our son and makes him do numbers every day , tells him he won't get Christmas presents if he can't count from 1 to 5 three times in a row and basiacally takes all the fun out of learning . I am not concerned in the slightest because his nursery teacher tells me he is doing just fine.
He has always been very advanced with certain things like he learnt to ride a bike without stabilisers aged 2 and he can swim without arm bands but he was a slow talker and never really said numbers or colours etc until about 6 months ago .

His dad says that I'm letting him fall behind but I really just dont think it's a huge deal and I think at his age learning should be fun so I'll sing number songs and dance with him or count his cars or something like that but I don't really sit him down and say count to 10 or do number books etc , am I wrong ?

Kid's dad needs to do a bit of study on cod development.

Also - threatening no Christmas presents is a bit of a shit threat to a 3 year old, who likely has only the dimmest idea of what that means.

You aren't wrong. Your dp is a dick.

Omg child development

He's an arse.

HTH

You need to out a stop to this before his dad gives him a complex.

What a horrible man.

Honestly, I think I'd leave DP if he spoke to our son like that.

Your partner sounds abusive and controlling.

Your poor baby! And he is still a baby at three! I would be LTB over this behaviour ! Is your p abusive and controlling in your relationship? Have you read the Lundy Bancroft abuser profiles?

m.facebook.com/notes/rebecca-cummings/abuser-profiles-from-why-does-he-do-that-by-lundy-bancroft/480862655302912/

Your husband is a knob.

Is he being hard on your 3 year old? No he's being abusive

Your husband sounds like a nasty bully. Please stop him from being so cruel to your child.

He’s being a dick. You ds is doing just fine! Skipping numbers is common. When I was teaching I’d rather have a child count to 5 confidently, and recognise up to five objects. Than a child who can count to 30, but has no concept of the number of objects:- for example unable to count 2 cars, count 5 cars etc.

That sounds really horrible. My DH is very keen on teaching maths to our DD (recently turned 4). She doesn't realise she's learning, she thinks she's been given a packet of chocolate buttons and is having fun putting them into groups, eating one and re-counting. It doesn't have to be formal learning, it won't help and could be damaging.

Nothing more likely to instil confidence and give your son a love of learning than a father who badgers and harangues him for being a normal 3 year old.

What everyone else says x 10. Poor kid.

Tell your partner in no uncertain terms to back right off - in front of DS if necessary.

This is bullying behaviour towards a three year old.

Tell him not to bother threatening DS with no Christmas presents because that just isn't going to happen. You will make sure that it doesn't. If he then strops because you aren't supporting him and presenting a united front then tell him you will support him when you believe he is correct, but not when he isn't. If he doesn't like that then so be it. Tough.

You are right that at this age learning should be fun. Young children learn a lot more through play than through attempts by Victorian Dad to drill stuff into them in old schoolmaster style.

Good luck.

I’d concentrate more on teaching your son not to turn into a dick like his father tbh

He’s three! He willing get better at counting with practice over time (Not being drilled every day at three years old!). Your idiotic partner is a grown man who needs to develop a bit of compassion and patience. I’d prefer a three year old who can’t count to a mean man any day.

Another vote for bellend here.

He's a fucking knobhead and I would be telling him he is no longer 'helping' his son to learn anything given what he is doing will have the opposite affect.

Poor boy.

His father is nasty.

Will you step in and protect your son from this nasty behaviour?

Reciting the words is utterly pointless unless he can relate it to the concept of number and actually counting things.

Young children learn a lot more through play than through attempts by Victorian Dad to drill stuff into them in old schoolmaster style.

Exactly. Learning should be fun! (hopefully always but especially so at 3)

I'm convinced these parents who are obsessed with getting their pre-schoolers to learn facts and figures are doing it for bragging rights.

I can recite numbers to 10 in about 7 languages.
I reckon I know numbers in 2 languages.
Being able to chant something doesn't mean you can use them in any useful way.
Show your OH this thread. He isn't being reasonable.

I'm going to assume that you're asking because you already know the answer and you want to show it to your pillock of an ex. I hope he's your ex.

It's emotional abuse.

Children develop at different rates — usually either motor skills or speech come first. Your DS is advanced in this motor skills and speech and language comprehension is coming next.
Reciting numbers is just that and does not mean comprehension of the meaning of numbers or maths.
Give your son 5 little cars —( or some other collection of different coloured cheap toys). Mark the tops with numbers. Ask DS which is his favourite toy and mark that one with a 5. You just need to mark 5 memorable to him..Play a racing game and repeat the numbers in a comm entary.
That however does not solve the problem of the idiot father.
Can you go to parenting classes on child development or get him to read a suitable book?

Your "d"p is a colossal fucking prick, your poor little boy. You need to protect your son - they're only just learning to do this ages 4,5,6, your little boy is only 3 bless him.

His dad is a dick. I don't do that military style of learning with my school age DS let alone a 3 year old.

this WILL destroy your son.so he will either take in on inwardly or he will hate his dad.and want to no why mum didn't stop it. nothing good will come from this. and it wont be now even.it could happen later in life but this will hurt him