To not be completely happy with this arrangement?

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DS1 is in sixth form at a school 4 miles away. He gets the local bus, which takes a roundabout route and takes almost an hour.

His friend is about to start driving to school and has offered to drive DS for £60 pm.

DS is keen to go, thinks it saves money and time and of course he'd like the social aspect.

My concerns are:

• it wouldn't save money. Bus ticket is £65 pm and there are bound to be some days they can't travel together even though they are in all the same classes
• regardless of how much it does or doesn't save us, it's too much to ask from as friend for a short journey that you're doing anyway. I don't mind contributing to costs but £60 is too much.
• it's a not always good to be so reliant on someone else ie DS could left stranded/ out of pocket if the boy or his car turns out to be unreliable
• teenage boys in a car together!

I suspect I need to just not think about the last one and have suggested he offers £10 per week (ie neither of them commit for a month at a time)

AIBU?

£10 a week sounds perfectly reasonable. And definitely dont think about your last point.

How many miles will it add onto friends journey to pick up and drop off your son?

£60 a month is ridiculous for a friend driving a friend. This boy effectively just wants your son to subsidise his petrol costs!

Presuming your son doesn’t himself have access to £60 a month, I would refuse to give it to him and make him stick to the bus.

Plus I wouldn’t want my child being driven by such a new driver anyway, especially when they’re friends who will be messing around and distracting each other.

It wouldn’t be about the money for me. I would not want my son in the car with a new driver.

I think your compromise sounds reasonable.

Bloody hell what a greedy git his friend is.

Thanks but no thanks.

Friend would drive within 100yds of our front door anyway

Friend is taking the piss
He should pay for max half of petrol.

Your concerns are valid and the suggestion of £10 PW and see how it goes is a good one.

Isn't there a recommendation that new drivers don't take child passengers anyway?

It's going to save your DS 2 hours a day that he can use to revise or do A level homework in. So he's onto a winner and in the warm being driven by his mate.

But I'm with you, that's (1) too much money- as I do that (& more with work visit) driving to /from work in traffic & I don't even fill up anywhere near that much in petrol per month. I also have business insurance as if he takes money it makes it more tricky re insurance cover.

I also would worry (2) about two teenagers in a car with a brand new driver. But would prefer that to DS cycling on road that far (as my DS would do that rather than circular bus route)

Gosh it's quite a dilemma isnt it?
I don't have an answer - I guess important variables are, is driver a sensible boy? Is it a tricky drive? How reliable is other boy? It's very hard to let go when it's your teenager.

He’s in sixth form ?! I think he’s old enough to decide for himself. Presumably the bus fare comes out of his allowance or somesuch ? I’d leave it to him. Once he realises he’s being fleeced on the car cost he’ll probably change his mind.

Does your son understand that he would be subsiding his ‘friend’s’ whole petrol costs?!

Isn't it illegal to profit from driving someone if he isn't a taxi? It might invalidate his insurance. Paying towards petrol is another matter though.

How many miles is it? I'd be inclined to work it out on 20p a mile i.e. Half of the standard 40p a mile for expenses. Then pay weekly.

How many miles is it? I'd be inclined to work it out on 20p a mile i.e. Half of the standard 40p a mile for expenses. Then pay weekly

OP says 4 miles, which means this boy’s petrol costs would be £3.20 a day.

This month, November, has 21 school days, so the boy’s total petrol costs for the month would be £67.20.

And he’s asking your son to pay £60 of that. It’s a terrible deal. Even £10 a week your son is still being ripped off - he’ll be paying around £40 a month when he should be paying max £33/4.

agree with other that £60 per month ia far too much. Most people i thia aituation qould ask for either half the oetrol coata r aomething amaller as a gestur given they qwre going that qay anyway.

i would suggest 20p per mile as pp said ao 8 miles per day 5 days in a week os 40 miles which qould be £8 per week. He should tell his friwnd thats what he i prepared to pay and not negotiate any further.

As for the teenage boy thing if it's local roads and not dual carriageways and the boy is sensible as far as you know I wouldn't worry too much. Obviously theres a risk but one worth taking gven the reward of 2 hrs per day!!

I think that sounds like a total rip off and I wouldn't be happy about it.

I would help your son break it down and treat his friends offer like a negotiation.

Sounds like mate is thinking it’s a good deal as he’s saving your son from a bus journey.

I think you’re right to give him a bit of guidance on this.

In fairness though, chances are if the friend is the only one with a car then he’ll probably doing a lot more driving of your dd around rather than just to and from school. Plus the friend will be paying a lot in insurance already, so may be wanting to get a bit back

I would be concerned your friends son would be invalidating his car insurance doing "lifts". It's a tough one but he's being greedy IMO. A reasonable contribution to petrol costs is one thing but what's being proposed sounds like a more commercial arrangement. Which could invalidate the boys insurance

@garethsouthgatesmrs
makes a good suggestion.

If you can get over safety aspect & reassure yourself DS's friend is a sensible driver. (As that'd be the part I was most stuck on.)

It's a kind offer but a bit CF in his friend's costing of it!! Different if it was adult collecting & driving to work as he would be facilitating earning big money /job. This is just company on way to/from college so fairer to pay half petrol (and govmt costs of 45p mile divided by 2 seems fairer in this case of 22p X 8 miles (there and back)= £8.80 per week of 5 days or £1.76 per day)

It's too much
And doesn't he have a bus pass that he can use at other times too? Is his friend going to drive him then? Thought not

The govmt mileage is worked out on petrol + wear and tear as 45p per mile. So in this teenage driver case where he is literally passing your house and going same time/ offering , it'd be half that as no one would expect your DC to cover whole lot.

make him an offer of half-he doesnt need all his petrol paid for surely