To not be completely happy with this arrangement?

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DS1 is in sixth form at a school 4 miles away. He gets the local bus, which takes a roundabout route and takes almost an hour.

His friend is about to start driving to school and has offered to drive DS for £60 pm.

DS is keen to go, thinks it saves money and time and of course he'd like the social aspect.

My concerns are:

• it wouldn't save money. Bus ticket is £65 pm and there are bound to be some days they can't travel together even though they are in all the same classes
• regardless of how much it does or doesn't save us, it's too much to ask from as friend for a short journey that you're doing anyway. I don't mind contributing to costs but £60 is too much.
• it's a not always good to be so reliant on someone else ie DS could left stranded/ out of pocket if the boy or his car turns out to be unreliable
• teenage boys in a car together!

I suspect I need to just not think about the last one and have suggested he offers £10 per week (ie neither of them commit for a month at a time)

AIBU?

Why aren't they cycling?

Most teens can walk 4 miles in an hour. Or cycle in about 15 mins. Agree that the car is too much, but why has he been getting the bus?

I'd jump at this if I was him. I used to have a 3 hour round trip on the bus to get to uni and it would drive me mad. He's saving time and not losing money. And public transport is just shit. Who cares if he's being a CF - there are loads of companies out there that we buy stuff off to save us money/ time, even though it doesn't cost them much to make or provide. No brainer, though I guess it depends on how reliable his friend is.

Nevertheless, I guess it's your decision if you pay for it. How long would the journey take by car?

I'm comparing it to how much and how often I need to put diesel in my car. I do a 6 mile commute in a 7 seater and £60 of fuel lasts me about 3 weeks if I'm not doing much other driving. I would counter offer with £25.

It might be motorway or main roads. I wouldn't like my DC cycling 8 miles a day on main roads in all weathers & rush hour to/from college, if he could pick a safer way.

I cycled when I was younger far further to / from school holiday jobs but with less traffic . Given heavy traffic nowadays, I offer alternatives to my DS -16, but respect his choice if he decides to cycle the 5 miles round journey to college (not main roads) and same to his PT job, which he does (eeek!).

My post was reply to PPs who said 'why isn't he cycling?'

I would jump at the chance to save almost two hours time per day. If you feel better then calculate the cost per day and pay it weekly rather than a lump sum.

While the actual petrol cost is not high, this lad is likely to have paid around £1.5 k or more for his insurance.

Is the friend still a probationary driver?
How much driving experience has he had?
Would they come straight home from school or deviate for entertainment? This would nullify any saved traveling time

Wtf?!

His mate is looking for easy cash. 10 a week is more than enough

£10 a week is more than fair. DS should be paying half of petrol, plus a contribution to wear and tear and upkeep of the car - not subsidising the entire journey for his mate.

Also re: cycling, lots of teens dont like to be sweaty when they reach destination. I know this as my DHs nephew stopped cycling to college after saying the 'fit girls' were put off by his BO .

Ah...to be young again

Isn't he old enough to make this decision himself? DH used to pick me up for sixth form he learned to drive long before me, he didn't charge me anything and would pick up another friend or two locally, our sixth form was about 6/7 miles away, but every few weeks we'd give him some money when he stopped for petrol (our bus passes were for use on the sixth form coach only not the local busses so were free), or we'd go to the cinema and one of us would buy his ticket, by him lunch etc. A journey that took 80-90 minutes and only ran first thing and at four thirty, was suddenly twenty minutes and flexible. Yes we sometimes went shopping if we had the afternoon off or to the cinema etc, we all had jobs too. There's no way at that age my parents would have told me I couldn't get in his car, I would've just laughed.

£60 a month? Christ alive. I mean nice to see an enterprising teen but that’s so steep especially as picking up your son is not out of his way. Even half the petrol costs is a slight joke as presumably this kid would be driving to school either way regardless of if your son is in the car or not? When I worked at the hospital I gave a friend £10 a week to pick me up for three shifts that we shared but she had to come get me from the other side of the city. I don’t know OP—I think a token £20 a month would be more than enough.

It will invalidate his friend’s insurance.

DD's direct route to school is just over 2 miles. In rush hour traffic if I drive her we need to leave 20 minutes to get her there on time. By the time your DS waits around at the convenience of his friend I doubt it will save him much time.

If he gives up his bus pass he loses his "free" non-school bus travel.

Would not be happy with my 17 yo being at the beck and call of a "friend" and paying £60 for the privilege.

Could your DS get on or off the bus part way to make for a more direct route?

This is definitely Cheeky Fucker territory

no no no .does your son no that almost all of the cost of petrol.it would be a different and more acceptable thing to think of if it was half.but this just gets the back up of him being cf straight away.
go to your son not in a no way way perhaps but just stating the facts.that you are a bit wary of a new driver so would it be best to see how it goes.and you don't want to see him being wripped off and covering all the costs you think isn't right.
there is a right way of going about talking to him on this and you know your son so you will know how to do it in a non conrfrontational way but a mum who doesn't want her son to be wripped off or left on his ass.

@FVFrog in what way would the arrangement invalidate his friend’s insurance?

Most DC nowadays have black boxes to help with the insurance costs so definitely changes their driving behaviour. I suggest he tips in a pound a trip. The other boy also has his insurance and car maintenance/tax to pay on top of the petrol and I know he'd be doing it anyway, but he is doing your son a favour. The increased weight in the car will increase his petrol consumption.

£0.45 x 40 miles a week is £18, so £9 would be fair in my opinion.

bevelino my understanding is that a regular arrangement like this could be construed as point 10! Apologies for the tabloid link, quick google search brings up other links but all basically say the same thing www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.mirror.co.uk/money/10-ways-invalidate-your-car-12238572.amp

I think it's reasonable to pay £15 week (but with deductions for bus money if friend let's your son down). It will be much more comfortable for your son to be picked up, especially if it's horrible weather (and winter is coming) and also his journey will be much quicker. It won't cost you any more than already but a much better deal for your son.
I actually don't think the friend is being cheeky - I think you are being a bit cheeky expecting to get such a great deal for your son for less than you already spend! Don't forget friend has put the effort (and cost) in to pass test and is running a car which will have extremely high insurance costs. He will also have to accommodate your son in his timings.

p.s. £15 a week is only £3/day - not much more than the cost of a cup of coffee to say thanks for a lift door to door - maybe if you look at it like that it sounds reasonable?

Are you the friend choca? The friend is doing the journey anyway. The time saving will be small to irrelevant once you factor in non-matching timetables. Also who would want their non-driving DS sharing the stress of morning commute plus parking issues with a 17 year old new driver?

I live opposite the secondary school. I would ban them all from learning to drive.