To not be completely happy with this arrangement?

[Bestseller]

DS1 is in sixth form at a school 4 miles away. He gets the local bus, which takes a roundabout route and takes almost an hour.

His friend is about to start driving to school and has offered to drive DS for £60 pm.

DS is keen to go, thinks it saves money and time and of course he'd like the social aspect.

My concerns are:

• it wouldn't save money. Bus ticket is £65 pm and there are bound to be some days they can't travel together even though they are in all the same classes
• regardless of how much it does or doesn't save us, it's too much to ask from as friend for a short journey that you're doing anyway. I don't mind contributing to costs but £60 is too much.
• it's a not always good to be so reliant on someone else ie DS could left stranded/ out of pocket if the boy or his car turns out to be unreliable
• teenage boys in a car together!

I suspect I need to just not think about the last one and have suggested he offers £10 per week (ie neither of them commit for a month at a time)

AIBU?

he he no, not the friend.

The two teen boys in a car would worry me. The cost not so much, tbh. It's not just petrol. Giving someone a lift every day is a big commitment and a time suck. I take a neighbouring child to and from school everyday and it's incredibly restrictive. There is so much I can't do after school, can't visit friends in the area/other direction, can't pop to the shops, have to be super efficient to make it to certain afterschool activities. I'm losing (at bare minimum) 30-40 minutes a day to accommodate the arrangement, while the other parent saves 90-120. And it's my car that suffers all the wear and tear.

My journey is much longer but obviously there are differences between two teen friends and an adult taking a child. I have responsibility for the other child on the journey and for part of the time at the school, have to act as a go between, between the school and the parents, have to check hats/bags/coats, etc. But still, it's not as simple as just splitting the petrol, it is an extra responsibility for the other teen, it will take up extra time for him and it will restrict him while it's also a massive time saving for your son. Just offering half the petrol money would make you a CF. £60pm is maybe a bit too much but £50 is the least I'd offer.

My son was the driver in this situation. He took 3 friends and school was 15 miles away and the bus journey was 1½ hours door to door. Bus times meant it was nearer 2 hours.

His friends covered the cost of the fuel, he covered car maintenance, insurance, tax etc. He would collect from the end of their road which was often closer than the bus stop and the car journey took 30 minutes.

As he was at the older end of the year this arrangement lasted most of the time he was at 6th form.

As far as I'm aware, everyone was aware of how the costs were split and was happy with this

Loving the visual of the driving teen checking the non-driving teen has his hat and coat and all notes from teacher

Not the same situation at all trance. In your case I would definitely be charging full whack.

It's a straightforward drive but a fast moving road. He doesn't cycle because of the road. It's a very steep hill. Up hill on the way there so sweaty teen all day anyone? Plus he'd be slow on a fast road going uphill.But it's the down hill that worries me most, fast downhill to a junction with an A road.

What do you think OP having read PPs suggestions?
I think you'll know best. I still think £8.80 per week for 5 days (so near enough £9) is a good compromise. As other teenager is driving anyway. Is he sensible? It'd be nice for your boy. But ignoring carzy cost he's trying to charge your DS, (he has to insure anyway and 1/2 X govmt 45p per mile wear and tear/petrol costs of what we get at work seems fair... )

It would make me nervous, 2 teens one of them a brand new driver. Two boys in my year at 6th form died on the way to school. The driver had been driving 2 weeks and went into the front of a JCB while trying to overtake another car.
How well do you know his friend? Is he a sensible boy?

I don't know the other boy at all. They're almost 18 though. Realistically , I'm not sure how much say I can expect to have on what cars an 18yo travels in.

@Bestseller you wont be able to stop him getting in the car with the other lad. No 17 year old is going to say I am not getting in a car with you cos Mummy worries. He will just get in and not tell you. But do nake him aware that £60 a month is far too much.

If it's of any comfort OP, DS1 passed his test at 17 and a half. He had a 10 mile journey to school which involves everything. Some town driving, a National Speed limit country road, a major roundabout that links a motorway to a fast A road. He drove this fairly often on his driving lessons. He helped transport DS2 (a year younger) to and from school/exams. He's a good boy, he has a black box and gets maximum points every month. He occasionally goes and picks up DS2 still and also some neighbours younger (but still high school) children. One commented on what a great driver he is. Not all teenage boys are wild drivers. I have also told both of mine to appreciate that a new driver will need peace and quiet to concentrate and to behave respectably when travelling as a passenger with their friends etc. DS2 (17) will be sitting his test soon. He is also practicing regularly on his route to school. I've said he is fine to drop friends home from school in the local vicinity but to choose wisely. He went in the car with a friend who had just passed down to the supermarket one lunchtime with a couple of friends, they all supported him and didn't carry on in the car.

A lot of teenagers are kinder and more sensible than we give them credit for.

Realistically , I'm not sure how much say I can expect to have on what cars an 18yo travels In

Who pays the bus fare? Is he expecting you to pay the car fare or is he intending on paying it?

I have 2 friends who work at the same place as me. If we're on the same shift I pick them up but would never consider charging them - I'm going anyway and it's costs me precisely nothing to collect them as I pass so what have I lost? I enjoy the company to be honest and I'd hate them to think I was going to ask for cash!

Sloth, technically it is costing you as you'll be using more petrol and have more wear and tear on the car due to the extra weight you are carrying. I wouldn't charge either for occasional trips but I think a modest contribution would be appropriate if it's a regular thing.

But it sounds like their company is their payment to you :)

There are calculators online to determine appropriate expenses for car-sharing, taking into account petrol costs, mileage and depreciation. I got the figure of £2.50 a day for a 20 mile round trip commute.

If they can agree a payment fairly YABU to object, tbh.

Or Gocarshare suggests £0.10 per passenger per mile, e.g. one passenger would pay £2 per day for a 10 mile trip there and back.

gocarshare.com/page/faq