Reporting a kind of friend to social services

[alleyesonme]

I’ve never reported anyone before this woman lives by me our sons go to the same school. She befriend me a few years ago I’ve always questioned her parenting skills she comes to the school late everyday to collect the kids and is late every morning.
I sometimes take them to school their always late and look unkempt and I have to get them breakfast at the club in the mornings.
She takes cocaine regularly I think most days as some days she’s flying and talks a lot and some days she won’t talk and pretends she hasn’t seen me like she’s on a comedown.
I know she hits the older one a lot it’s neglect more than abuse she just doesn’t care about them it comes across I don’t think she deserves them I’ve never seen her at a parent evening or play etc I don’t wanna report her and feel bad after but the whole thing has made me uneasy

Report it. Life sounds miserable for those children

Could you talk to a teacher about your concerns?

If she hits the older one a lot I’d say there’s a chance it is going into abuse actually. How do you know? Because they tell you, or because you see marks she’s left?
I’d report it, you have more of an obligation to the children in any kind of situation like this.

No I wouldn’t feel comfortable talking the school to be honest I’m a bit wary of her I think she would take my head off if she knew which is one of the reasons I haven’t but it plays on my mind. The younger one is lovely and so sweet and he deserves so much more on social media she never mentions them or acts like they exist just stupid selfies of her it’s so strange I don’t get it I adore my children.
They just don’t seem cared for properly would social services do anything or am I wasting my time

My son has been there she hits him infront of my son so he told me

Sounds like neglect and physical abuse.

Please report immediately. You might feel bad after, but her children feel worse now.

You can report anonymously

The older one first year seniors is just off doing what he wants after school he told me she lets him till 7 even on these dark nights it worries me a lot about the kids and how their going to end up.

Yep, social care would act on that. They'd go round to do a full assessment and gather more information before figuring out the best way to support the family and keep the kids safe.
You might never get to hear about it, though. People tend to keep that stuff quiet.

It’s not hearsay when I’ve witnessed it myself please don’t be condescending this happens in real life

I’m asking advice on whether it is neglect or I’m blowing it up I’m not asking whether you believe what I say and if social services will do anything I don’t want to upset the kids for no reason.

Hmm. You do sound a bit of a meddler. You 'think' she takes cocaine, and she perhaps has better things to do than sit through school plays, so you're determined to stir the pot.

Don't rely on the school to have noticed things. Just report it.

The school reported her in reception as she told me already and nothing came of it. Three years ago now she told me a while ago as she hated that teacher in particular

The lack social media mentions of children is a red herring. Not everyone puts things about their children online.

The hitting is concerning if it's happening, but the rest, whilst not great, isn't necessarily indicative of neglect.

My position is, if you think it warrants a referral then refer, and let the professionals determine the situation.

I don’t think I know she does I know her. Wish I didn’t post when I get silly comments saying I’m meddling.

Plenty of us never attend parent’s evenings or plays - because we’re sole earners and need to work (in my case) or jobs are inflexible.

Plenty more children choose not to screw with their children’s privacy by posting photos of them or about them o social media.

Whilst the cocaine use is clearly an issue, some of what you mention could well be circumstance/parenting choice.

Call Social Services and see what happens.

Ok thanks for your advice maybe I should just leave it then I was asking what others would do.

she doesn’t work for the record obvs this is only what I see and know

Please report it directly to social services. Third party referrals (e.g. through school) are useless.

OP, some of the info you've given is not relevant to safeguarding.
But

• hitting
• cocaine use
• chronically unkempt
• habitually late for school

together merit further investigation.

It may be that there isn't enough for ss to offer any support at this point. But it may be vital in building up a picture of these kids' lives that could help them in the future.

You let your child go to the house of someone you know takes cocaine?

Please report. Better to try to help the kids than sit back, watch and do nothing.

Definitely report to social services. They like to build a picture so the more reports the better.
I've done something similar recently and it does sound a bit lame when you say it out loud but the cocaine use needs to be noted. Unfortunately social services are so stretched, there's no guarantee much will be done beyond a call offering help but I wouldn't be comfortable knowing I hadn't done anything.