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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

knives in school-10yo threatening my child.

118 replies

RudolphsJinglingBalls · 23/11/2018 11:18

Posting here for traffic advice as I have no idea how to proceed and am in shock tbh.

My youngest is 10 and in final year of primary. Since joining tis school two years ago there was some bullying issues and my 10yo worked through them with the kids and now they are all friends. Apart from one kid. It's been relentless small stuff. Name calling, isolating friends and shit stirring. Last week my child mentioned in passing that they had holes in their trousers where this kid had stabbed them with a sharp pencil. I was gobsmacked and they just replied " i'm just glad it wasnt the Xacto knife they brought into school and put in their drawer". Turns out this kid has been threatening to stab my 10yo but I felt the threat of a knife was extreme in that it was likely a lie.

A quick call to the school and I find out that this kid did indeed have a knife in their drawer.

I just got off the phone to the head teacher. I asked him about his policy on weapons in school. They do not have one. I asked him how they plan to punish this kid. They aren't. They want me to go in next week and have a sit down with this child and the mother and me and my kid to "smooth things over". I want, at the very minimum, this kid to be excluded for a week to learn the severity of their choice and then to never talk to my kid again.

But no. Apparently its 6 of one and half a dozen of the other. They have no proof ( apart from the knife and the teacher knowing about the pencil stabbing). I have been into school twice about this child bullying my daughter, the other parent has never been in to say that my kid is bullying theirs. But now apparently their kid is upset as mine falls out with them so much!

What do I do here? I am actually employed in education myself but my brain is swimming with this , all my safeguarding training has drained out my left ear and I am panicking like mad and in total disbelief about what could have happened. This is a lovely little school and the last place you would expect students to have knives.

Somebody please help me here.

OP posts:
sd249 · 23/11/2018 19:10

I am a teacher. In my school if you bring a knife in with the intent to hurt someone you are instantly permanently excluded.

We did have one girl recently whos craft knife got mixed up in her art homework and as she was lovely, didnt realise it was there she was excused but unless specific circumstances children leave and don't come back.

I would be going to the police.

shamalawa · 23/11/2018 19:11

Police
Governors.

Then if their response is still flaky don't be afraid to be 'that' parent and take it to the bloody papers!!!

It's outrageous

6triesbuttingout · 23/11/2018 19:40

The school probably care more about ofstead results than your child. Don’t let them cover it up !!! Police and local press.. And please don’t feel you have to sit in a room with awful child and it’s motheer

GreenTulips · 23/11/2018 19:51

Well done you are doing the right thing

The head sounds like a nightmare

Puzzledandpissedoff · 23/11/2018 19:53

Time for a new headteacher!

I'd be informing them anyway, but wonder when the next inspection's due? Because if the HT takes the same cavalier attitude to other issues as they have about this, Ofsted will eat them alive

FrancisCrawford · 23/11/2018 20:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hdh747 · 24/11/2018 01:48

Good for you.
Let us know how you get on please. x

Beeziekn33ze · 24/11/2018 02:11

First child I saw with a knife was a 10 year old who'd brought a steak knife to youth club. An organiser sighed, said 'Give it to me' and he did. This would be over 30 years ago.

In the mid 1970s a family member reckoned about a third of the boys in his year carried knives. 40 years ago. Told by telephone, the headmaster said there were no weapons in his school. Yeah, right. I hope he checked anyway!

theworldistoosmall · 24/11/2018 02:13

Well, clearly the ht isn't alone in this dire attitude. Cannot believe the first response to a child having a knife. Happy medium my arse. It's that type of minimising that is part of the issue of the knife culture.

Well done op for taking a stance and taking this further.

flumpybear · 24/11/2018 02:48

This is scary! So pleased you've gone to the police. Vote of no confidence re the head - what a gutless idiot!

Chouetted · 24/11/2018 03:05

@Beezie 40 years ago, I can believe that. I took a knife to school in the 90s as soon as I was deemed old enough to have one - a small Swiss Army knife, so legal to have, and allowed by school. I stopped in the end because I got fed up of being bugged to borrow various attachments.

liverbird10 · 24/11/2018 04:25

This isn't in Rainhill, is it?

BitOfFun · 25/11/2018 00:53

I shouldn't think so- that's less than ten miles from Liverpool city centre.

Original poster
RudolphsJinglingBalls · 25/11/2018 18:50

It's not Rainhill no.

We went to the Police station today, my daughter was worried sick about it despite me assuring her she would be fine if she told the truth. The police woman was lovely and was very reassuring that I had done the right thing in reporting it. In her words " Children at this age, if they are from families with issues then they are on the brink. Not just of puberty but of falling into bad habits and foul of the law". She also said that she will be explaining to the head teacher that they are disappointed in his lack of reporting it seeing as he knew a crime had been committed on the property. The PC is going to go in and see the girl tomorrow (if her mother consents) and "Give her a long and loud telling off" .....if the mother wants to be present then it could be later in the week.....and hopefully that will be that.

I will be writing to the head teacher, LEA, The governors and OFSTED tomorrow. I have also found out that the school my nephew goes too has spaces so if it comes to it, if this does not work to repair the situation or at least get my daughter some peace then she will be moved school or I will possibly home school her.

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 25/11/2018 20:41

(WPC) will be explaining to the head teacher that they are disappointed in his lack of reporting it seeing as he knew a crime had been committed on the property

Thank goodness for that!!

I think you're handling this brilliantly OP, and the bit above is definitely something I'd share with those you write to (except the HT of course, who certainly won't want it mentioned). It seems appropriate for at least the governors/LEA to have the full information on quite what an idiot they've appointed

Sparklybanana · 25/11/2018 21:00

Bailey Gywnne.

I don’t want to bring this up to worry you further but you should certainly remind the headteacher that kids are stabbed, and kids do die because of bullying. Cults is the rich area of Aberdeen so if this can happen there then it can happen anywhere. You did the right thing by reporting it to police and the headteacher is not doing their duty to protect children if they do not respond to this with their full weight. You cannot be light where anyone has been threatened with a weapon. They’re pissed because they know they should have responded like the police did.

MrsJane · 26/11/2018 13:04

Good for you OP! Really hope this gives the HT a much needed wake up call.

Lots of love to you and your dd Thanks

InTheNorth · 26/11/2018 13:21

Can't believe there's no policy! My DD's school permanently excludes anyone found with a knife; that's the correct approach

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