knives in school-10yo threatening my child.

[RudolphsJinglingBalls]

Posting here for traffic advice as I have no idea how to proceed and am in shock tbh.

My youngest is 10 and in final year of primary. Since joining tis school two years ago there was some bullying issues and my 10yo worked through them with the kids and now they are all friends. Apart from one kid. It's been relentless small stuff. Name calling, isolating friends and shit stirring. Last week my child mentioned in passing that they had holes in their trousers where this kid had stabbed them with a sharp pencil. I was gobsmacked and they just replied " i'm just glad it wasnt the Xacto knife they brought into school and put in their drawer". Turns out this kid has been threatening to stab my 10yo but I felt the threat of a knife was extreme in that it was likely a lie.

A quick call to the school and I find out that this kid did indeed have a knife in their drawer.

I just got off the phone to the head teacher. I asked him about his policy on weapons in school. They do not have one. I asked him how they plan to punish this kid. They aren't. They want me to go in next week and have a sit down with this child and the mother and me and my kid to "smooth things over". I want, at the very minimum, this kid to be excluded for a week to learn the severity of their choice and then to never talk to my kid again.

But no. Apparently its 6 of one and half a dozen of the other. They have no proof ( apart from the knife and the teacher knowing about the pencil stabbing). I have been into school twice about this child bullying my daughter, the other parent has never been in to say that my kid is bullying theirs. But now apparently their kid is upset as mine falls out with them so much!

What do I do here? I am actually employed in education myself but my brain is swimming with this , all my safeguarding training has drained out my left ear and I am panicking like mad and in total disbelief about what could have happened. This is a lovely little school and the last place you would expect students to have knives.

Somebody please help me here.

Contact:

Police. This is criminal offence.

Governors.

Ofsted

This is bloody serious! Gobsmacked at the school's reaction to this?!

I went to a roughish school in an area known for knife crime and this actually happened to me.

My parents didn't give a shit but I was scared enough to go to pastoral care because this girl was obviously having some kind of issues of her own and took it all out on me. Petty bullying, but also things like destroying my belongings, encouraging others to bully me, and physically beating me up. She used to say when she was older she'd get a gun and shoot me. I thought that was ridiculous until she actually had a knife.

Of course she wasn't the typical knife user, and burst into tears when accused. They gave her a brief suspension and it wasn't enough. We had knife arches up at school from then on and she didn't bring one in again, but continued beating me up, spraying deodorant in my eyes, smashed my glasses...

Your child needs to know you have their back because even if the knife is gone, the bully can still make their life a misery.

I would not tolerate the HM's response in the slightest. Agree with suggestions of going to the police (or telling the school you will if they don't enforce a policy of no weapons on school premises) and possibly keeping my child off until I was assured this was the situation.
Your child has a right to be educated without fear of bullying or violence. TBH I would have hit the roof at the pencil stabbing. Did he/she mark your child with the pencil? The fact he/ she pierced your child's clothes with a pencil (sharp item) would make me furious.

Def as pp said contact the police

As the parent of a child who was very badly bullied for two years, please don't trust the school too much. I trusted what they told me and DC continued to be bullied even when they were watching. Err towards being over the top rather than too trusting, your DC only had you to protect them.

I am flabbergasted at the head teachers response! Surely they would have safeguarding Guidelines and while I appreciate that weapons may not be covered surely they cannot accept this behaviour and refuse to punish. I would remove my dd and I would go to the police. Surely the school have a legal obligation to ensure your child's safety as far as I can see this is not being taken seriously enough 😡

Definitely involve the police .
How they can not take the issue of a knife in school in this day and age is beyond me ,
I’d also take it higher up within the school too as in the local education authority

Police. 10 is the age if criminal responsibility.

I live in an area where knife crime is a very real thing (DH saw some teens with a machete in a local park just this month FFS) and I would take off to Mars at this HT's utterly inadequate response.

I would also escalate up to governors and LEA.

This kid needs a short, sharp, shock.

I'm in education, too. I would escalate this to the police. Carrying a weapon at age 10 is a criminal offense, and flippin' scary! The police can intervene with the school, perhaps hook them up with anti knifecrime workshops, etc. There is zero tolerance for knives for a very good reason!

Screw the meeting.

The chikd is a danger to others. Police.

Before he stabs someone else while the head teacher arranges tea and biscuits to guilt you into allowing them to do fuck all about it

I would be livid. Call the police OP. Your child has been threatened with a knife. The school have a duty of care and they are not acting on it? “Smooth things over??? They clearly don’t want to face up to their responsibility regarding your son’s safety. Does the school have a Facebook page? I would be tempted to make sure all the other parents know exactly how the school intends to tackle knives in school. It’s outrageous!

How long before he stabs someone in the eye with a pencil fgs. The child had issues. Probably known to SS

Don't take your child to a meeting with the kid who keeps a knife in her desk! Madness. This is in no way about your child's behaviour unless she also brought a deadly weapon to school.

. If this were my child I would be informing the police as the law has been broken. I would also follow the Complaints Policy and refer to the Behaviour Policy. Copy in the Chair of Governors in a formal complaint to the Headteacher. Our school doesn’t have a knife specific policy, but it is covered under offensive weapons in the Behaviour Policy. Bringing a knife into school would lead to a Fixed Term Exclusion which may result in Permanent Exclusion after an investigation.

Fuck me sideways, they have no weapons policy? Like, do they think they're maybe bad?

I'm rooting for you! Call the police!

Don't take your child to a meeting with the kid who keeps a knife in her desk! Madness. This is in no way about your child's behaviour unless she also brought a deadly weapon to school.

The fact that they've actually proposed this make me think they don't believe the kid had the knife.

A child at my sons primary school brought a knife in and was instantly expelled. I am stunned the school aren't taking it more seriously

Kids fight and have very different versions of what happened.
However, if a threat of using a knife on someone has been given, it's a police matter and they can get to the bottom of it.

Do you have anything in writing about there being no weapons policy at the school? It's pretty much up at the top along with suicide and child rape in the safeguarding stakes. If they don't have this covered, the whole SMT need to be down the job centre on Monday.

Ex Head DH recommends:

Write a letter or email to the head with a copy to the Chair of Governors, stating that you consider your child to be at risk of harm and that the school, by not taking action to confiscate the knife and by not having a policy prohibiting the bringing of knives into school is in breach of their duty of care.

Unless the Head and Governors take immediate action to rectify this state of affairs you will be referring the matter to the police and the Local Education Authority or the Chair of the Academy Trust, whichever is applicable.

Make it clear that until you have confirmation that action is being taken it would not be appropriate to enter into conversations with the other parent.

(I know MN frowns on advice from DHs but he was a Head and I was not )

The only response from the school should have been immediate expulsion and contacting the police. You have a verified weapon with an attached threat... there is no middle ground here. If he school won’t keep your child safe, you have to. Call police and report it. They will take it seriously and act. The HT may even be in trouble for failure to report.

@rixera that’s awful. My heart goes out to you.

So....... I have reported it to the police. They took it very seriously and will have somebody in touch with me within 48 hours. I then called the school to find out how I contact the govenors. The head teacher answered and I said pretty much what @TrickD said ( but I had already reported it to the police). I also asked for the LEA contact details and assured him i would put everything in writing for Monday. I also refused a meeting with the girl and her parents and said that if nothing had happened by now after me going in complaining 3 times about the bullying, then nothing would change by meeting the mother.

Some of the insults my daughter has endured, I have written down-

Shrek called, he wants his face back you ugly cow.
Everybody at this school wishes you had never joined, you should just die.
You may think they are your friends, but they are pretending and I'm making them. Nobody likes you, get used to it.

WHat the hell is the matter with kids these days. Its blatantly clear that this girl is jealous of my daughter ( they also used to go to an arts group together and my daughter took the spotlight more often than she did). If my daughter has a new bag, she has a new bag and shoes. if my daughter gets 10/10 on her spellings, she accuses her of cheating. We went abroad for a week, she apparently went to the same exact place for two. My daughter has tried and tried, just a few weeks ago she asked this girl if she wanted to come for a sleepover with a mutual friend ( thank god she said she would rather vomit or she may have brought her knife and that doesn't even bare thinking about).

Anyway. The head teacher sounds very very pissed off.

You've done the right thing going to the police and getting everything written down.

I'd also get some sort of crime number of reference number from the police to give to both OFSTED and the governor's when you formally contact them.

I shudder to think what would have happened if the child had decided to use that knife. Where on earth did they even get it?

I also wouldn't be sending my child back. How are you meant to trust them with your child daily when firstly, someone had a weapon there they knew nothing about and secondly, when they show such a poor response to it being brought to their attention?

I used to work in a school. We had kids excluded for bringing in knives- permanently. it's shocking and I would tell the head you will be looking into legal advice- which I would do if I were you. Calling the police is the least you SHOULD do, so that maybe the school will clean up their act. I think they are trying to be careful as exclusions end up on school's records ofsted is looking into, so many schools avoid them to make themselves look better.
What you can also do, if call ofsted- this can trigger an inspection. It may be horrible for the school, but clearly their safeguarding is not up to scratch and they are putting children at risk.

Well of course they're pissed off.
You're escalating it and taking no crap.
Good for you.
They would not accept it for their own kids. I can tell you