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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be Pissed off

27 replies

mother2b · 21/06/2007 14:06

Because my DP has called in sick to go to siverstone!

i have called in sick when not before but not for something like this! maybe for having appt with letting agents that couldnt wait! but not for going to watch some cars race!

i wouldnt have minded but he doesnt get sick pay and we need all his holiday for things like moving (beginning of next month) and for our baby which is due in Dec,

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
mother2b · 21/06/2007 14:37

??? i dont think i am being unreasonable!

OP posts:
bouncy · 21/06/2007 15:59

Depends really, on how often he does it.

Is this a real passion for him?

I personalliy wouldn't mind if dp did it once in a blue moon for a passion of his that he really loved.

But I would be annoyed if he did it all the time if we needed the money.

thats my opinion anyway.

charliecat · 21/06/2007 16:00

Hmm, if its something he loves, and he doesnt call in sick for a headache and other stupid things then I think you are being unreasonable.
You only live once, and work the rest of the year.

Original poster
mother2b · 21/06/2007 16:03

its not a real passion for him and i wouldnt have minded if it was once we moved out but the deposit for house and having to buy things for house is going to leave us extremely strapped for cash as it was (in fact we wasnt sure we was going to be able to handle the first month)

im not a nag but i do think that it was a bit inconsiderate, im working every hour that gets thrown at me

and he will prob spend money when he's there

i really wouldnt have minded if it had been the second month or after but the first month is going to be strssful as it is!

OP posts:
Original poster
mother2b · 21/06/2007 16:05

its more his dads passion, but his dad is at the stage where he can afford to have a couple of days off!

OP posts:
charliecat · 21/06/2007 16:07

Ok, but he cant do it in the second month Will he agree to keep spending to a minimum and pull in the reins next month?

bouncy · 21/06/2007 16:08

perhaps with all that is going on your dp needed a day away, no matter what it was doing.

The men tend to get a little forgotten sometimes when baby on the way.

perhaps he was a little stressed and needed a day away.

I can understand what your trying to say.

Furball · 21/06/2007 16:09

We went yesterday and it was brilliant! Well worth a tenner for a quality day. They only do the F1 testing maybe twice a year, so he wouldn't of been able to go when you say it wouldn't have been less stressful. I'd be more peeved he didn't take you

bouncy · 21/06/2007 16:10

£10

I ashumed it was £50 or something

Original poster
mother2b · 21/06/2007 16:12

he didnt tell me because he knew i wouldnt like it, we prob wouldnt have been able to have afforded food if his mum hadnt bought our first lot of shopping, he emailed my work address at 10.45 last night so i would find out when i got to work and couldnt stop him!

OP posts:
NerdMagnet · 21/06/2007 16:12

Everyone is entitled to a little treat and relaxation now and again.
If he'd buggered off on holiday for a week - then I'd be "Pissed off"!

Original poster
mother2b · 21/06/2007 16:15

i didnt have a clue how much it would have been, at all, he hasnt even spoken to me about this!
i assumed it would have been more than a tenner - but its not just that its the lost days wage also

OP posts:
bouncy · 21/06/2007 16:15

ah the way he told you i'd be annoyed with, not him actually going.

bouncy · 21/06/2007 16:15

How do you know his dad is not paying for him ?

NerdMagnet · 21/06/2007 16:17

I can see why you are angry if he didn't tell you.
YANBAUAIFTYW.
(You are not being as unreasonable as I first thought you were!)

bouncy · 21/06/2007 16:18

but think back to when i was pg, my dp wouldn't even tell me if we ran out of milk because I was at everything, espeically with the new batch of hormones I seemed to get every day lol

Original poster
mother2b · 21/06/2007 16:20

prob but is still losing a whole days wage, i only take days off i need for appts or scans or blood tests and i get paid for them! i havent had a proper day off to relax for months and months, and hes still in his 3 month probationary period, thai is the second time in a month he called in sick, last time he had a little bit of a sore throat(although he was still able to smoke)(you would have thought he was dying!)

OP posts:
NerdMagnet · 21/06/2007 16:21

Man flu.
Tis beyond the understanding of us females.

Furball · 21/06/2007 19:38

was only a tenner entry mother2b see Here at the bottom. Yeah ok he lost a days wage so you still have that to be peeved about. Hopefully he won't to go to the actual F1 race in a few weeks, now that is alot of dosh.

Original poster
mother2b · 22/06/2007 09:16

i spoke to him last night and i decided to not be annoyed with him after he told me that going to see the actual f1 would cost £200 at the least

it just annoyed me because i bought a maternity top from the h&m sale (which will need) for £2.99 and felt really guilty about it, but then he just took the day off etc.

OP posts:
DaisyMOO · 22/06/2007 09:22

I don't think you're being unreasonable, I'd be pretty annoyed too at the loss of a day's wages when you really need them.

Emprexia · 22/06/2007 09:25

yyabu

Even the guys need a day off to have fun, it'll be less possible once babys here. so et him enjoy it

Original poster
mother2b · 22/06/2007 09:40

i dont get a day off, heres me doing all the overtime i can, am im the pregnant one, i havent had a day off, that hasnt been for a scan or an appt for months, and he just takes a day off to go see some cars driving around a track!

OP posts:
potoftea · 22/06/2007 09:57

This reminds me very much of my dh and I when we were first married. I think the transition to being a mature home owner with a baby on the way, was too much for him.

He used to do unreasonable stuff like this, and I was the more sensible one thinking ahead. Well 18 years on, we still have the same roles, even though he has gotton a lot more sense.

For us what worked was that we tried to each have a couple of pounds that was our spending money every week. Even if it was only 2 or 3 pounds that week at least we could spend it how we wished. I usually bought clothes or household stuff, but at least he got to save if he wanted to, and realised that we really had very little to spare.

You may just have to accept that you are the stronger, more sensible one in the relationship, and accept him as he is.

electra · 22/06/2007 10:00

I don't think you're being unreasonable. Calling in sick when you're going to be out of the house is a real no,no. The truth has an uncanny way of coming out when you don't want it to!

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