To not go to A&E

[WhoTookTheCookie]

I've lost several fingers and I'm pretty sure I've just snapped my spine.
My leg is turning black, my heart isn't beating, everything hurts.
My feet are turning in on themselves and my toes are at right angles.
Oh, and my heads just fallen off.

I should be okay though. I've just taken 2 paracetamol and there's something I really want to watch on the TV.
I'm sure I can hold my head for the duration until my programme is finished.

AIBU to not call 111?

Back in the 80’s when I was a nipper in primary school if we had an accident, the area was drenched in iodine. Had the lovely effect of turning our skin yellow.
Have you thought of taking an iodine bath OP?

Maybe call 111 for an out of hours appointment- but this is neither an accident or an emergency

Did you make it through the night?
Or did you wake up dead?

Don't be so silly you don't need any medical attention a bit of bailer twine you will be fine. Only if you already have it though you don't want to inconvenience anyone if you don't

To all the naysayers; I'm still here.
Shall we start a sweepstake?

Bit of ibuprofen gel this morning and I was ready for work.
Got some funny looks on the tube though, I genuinely thought that my head was entitled to a seat.

Bastards.

Well frankly that proves they're all merely flesh wounds that need no attention

Oh your one if those...couldn't your head have sat on your lap?

Bet you shoved a "brain on board" sticker on it too didn't you?

Least the half fare for half a body means you can afford the paracetamol now though. Can your neighbour you don't talk to take your kids to school Indefinately?

Trouble is OP it's so hard to take paracetamol with no head!
Do you shove it down your neck?

Did you make it home from work in one peice or have you lost your head?

See how it is in the morning, what time is your flight.