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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be annoyed and thinking about going to the police?

71 replies

PennyHoffsteader · 22/11/2018 16:52

A bit of a backstory to the situation first. I have 2 cats. both boys, both brothers. We have had them since they were 8 weeks old - DH bought them off a colleague who breeds cats.

Anyways, Years go by with Cat 1 and Cat 2, all ok. then we got a puppy when the cats were about 3. In the meantime, a neighbour 3 doors down had been feeding both cats and letting them into her house to sleep, play etc. basically treating them like her own. at one point when the cats were around 2, I did write a firm but polite note asking her to not feed our cats.

fast forward back to the time we brought the puppy home, the shyest of the 2 cats has ended up rehoming itself to her house, after almost a year of me trying to bring him home and DH just letting him run out of the house. so I accepted that the little guy didn't want to live under the same roof as the puppy. it still irks me that she has him. I've tried to be polite about the situation. Even asking "how is ..... cat" and she would say "oh he comes to your back door every day you know, he misses the children" but in the next breath she would say "hes sleeping on the bed with my husband at the moment" Hes husband is quite ill with cancer - which is why I have been so accepting/lenient about the whole situation.

anywhoo - back to the current situation - we still have 1 cat live with us. He is happy with the dog, loves the children, sleeps on the bed with me every night (until DH takes him down to the kitchen for the night) cat needed a scale and polish last week, so was taken to the vets and had the proceedure done, along with having a microchip inserted whilst he was under general. On Monday I needed to take him back to the vet as he has had a reaction to the microchip. He now has a meatball sized cyst where the microchip was put in, so is on a 10 day course of anitbiotics, and ibubrofen for cats. I brought him home tuesday night and he had his first set of medication. Morning comes and in the rush of doing the morning routine and the school run, cat had escaped to the garden. I wasnt overly worried as his usual routune is to go out in the morning and come home around 1.30-2 ish for food, then hes in till the next morning. Excet cat didnt come home. DH and i went out on a number of occasions searching for him. I eventually found him underneath another neighbours shed - and bless her, she tried so hard to get him out but he wasnt having it whatsoever. I said that I would come backin the morning. that was this morning. 9.30am this morning once the kids had gone to school, I set about looking for him again. I was back in the nice neighbours garden when I heard my husband shout "mrs xyz has got him"

So i ran back to the front of the houses and there she was with DH outside her house. I asked where he was and she replied with "hes asleep in the house" I said that I wanted to take him home as he needed his medication. she responded with "shall I bring him home when he wakes up?" I said, no, I want him now, hes already gone a day without medication. She didnt look happy that Id said that so walked into her house and there he was wide awake. "he's been here since 11.30 lasy night" she said. I took the cat off her and waled home with him. He is now on the sofa - been asleep all day but been hand fed dreamies and cats milk along with meds.

AIBU to be seriously pissed at this woman? considering phoning the police on her?!! She is basically trying to steal my cat!! shes managed it with one. Im damned as hell going to let her take my boy!!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 22/11/2018 16:59

The police will have nothing to do with this.

It was your responsibility to keep the cat in during the time it needs meds. Fair enough, that didn't got to plan but these things often don't.

Feeding a neighbour's cat (as annoying as it is) is not theft.

Well done on finally getting the cat chipped though. I hope you've done the same for the other, given the situation?

WorraLiberty · 22/11/2018 17:01

And she didn't steal your first cat either.

You introduced a puppy to the cat's house. That's a major reason why a lot of cats decide to live elsewhere.

ChanelPlease · 22/11/2018 17:02

The police would think wtf if you rang them.

I'm sorry though she does seem to have helped herself to your cats but they seem to like it there. Not sure what you can do barring keeping them indoors?

shaggedthruahedgebackwards · 22/11/2018 17:05

Sorry but the police have far more important things to be doing than investigating why your cats like to hang out at Mrs XYZ's place Confused

PennyHoffsteader · 22/11/2018 17:06

www.catbehaviourist.com/blog/cats-law-uk/

this information says otherwise xx

thankyou for reading, I know its a long post!!

OP posts:
pigsDOfly · 22/11/2018 17:06

I have no idea, obviously, what sort of area you're in regarding police activity, but in most parts of UK it's almost impossible to get the police to react to a burglary, so I don't imagine they're going to be too exercised about your neighbour trying to steal your cats.

Personally, as difficult as it is, I'd be very careful to make sure he's kept in, certainly while he on the medication, and if the other cat turns up at your house I'd keep him in too.

I'd treat them as I would a new kitten. Keep them in for about 7 weeks or so and see if that rebonds them to your house. Give them plenty of high places to retreat to away from the dog. Having said that after a year it might be impossible to get him to come back.

Yes, she's stolen your cat and, of course, she has no right to keep him, but I suspect the police won't be interested and it'll be up to you to deal with it. I hope you get them back. It's heartbreaking when you lose a cat, even if it's only down the road.

lpchill · 22/11/2018 17:07

I get really angry when people feed a cat that is not theirs. My cat has tummy issues that if he eats jelly food he is sick a lot. For almost a year he had it almost weekly. Vets couldn't figure it out. It was only when we moved and was calling the cat to come home (he always does btw) and he didn't we got really worried. Next door stuck there head over the fence asking what we where doing. We said and he said oh yea he's here just finishing his tea????!! I march round there and there he was eating jelly food!! I had to really bite my tongue as it was an old man.

My new neighbour got a cat and he was lovely (but would fight my cat often) it suddenly went missing. Searched everywhere put on FB. He was found 5 streets over. They go pick up the cat all is happy for about a week. He does it again. Rinse repeat he then does this daily. She went over and the women said oh it's probably because I'm feeding him fresh salmon and tinned tuna! I'll happily keep the cat as long as you insure him and take him for check ups??? Neighbour thought CF and took the cat home. He was originally adopted so they went back to the agency they got him from and got him readopted.

Behappy2 · 22/11/2018 17:07

I'd get the cat that she's stolen back off her, microchip that cat and I'd be keeping it in for 6 weeks or so, so it can adjust to life with the new puppy. It'll get used to it but it might take sometime, i would NOT let her have it back, it's your cat and she needs to understand that. I'd go marching back to her house and going in and getting the cat or wait for it to come back to your house and get it inside, do not let it out. Keep it separated from the back door and shut the other doors when going near the back.

Longtalljosie · 22/11/2018 17:08

I think you need to go around there and lose your temper with her. She’s relying on your being too polite to tell her where to get off. Silly cow.

Cassiopeia13 · 22/11/2018 17:09

I'd be furious as well. Cheeky woman can go adopt her own cat if she wants one, not appropriate to just lure neighbours cats in. Id be wary of her in future looks like she wants the set

PiperPublickOccurrences · 22/11/2018 17:10

Is this for real? Police aren't going to give two hoots about your bloody cat.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 22/11/2018 17:11

The trouble is no matter how much you think it, she isn't stealing your cat. The cat is choosing to go to her house probably because they don't like the dog.

I am surprised it took you so long to microchip them though, that's basic pet ownership 101.

Racecardriver · 22/11/2018 17:11

The cat chose her. It’s a living being even if the law treats it as a possession. It would be unethical to take it back for your own gratification.

Sparklesocks · 22/11/2018 17:12

I think the police would see it as a civil dispute and wouldn't intervene. As the cat is going to other houses by choice then I don't think it would be theft, you'd need to prove the cat was locked in couldn't leave despite wanting to.

rosinavera · 22/11/2018 17:14

Yes, I've read about court cases like this - so it is theft!

ChanelPlease · 22/11/2018 17:15

Genuine question why can't cats be kept in, just let out into an enclosed garden for some fresh air?

In the 80s it was common for dogs to roam the streets unsupervised but thankfully that doesn't happen anymore.

Wonder if in 20yrs time we'll see cats on little leads going for a walk with their owners instead of going to the toilet in other people's gardens.

HowlsMovingBungalow · 22/11/2018 17:17

I had two relatives who had form for this - feeding other peoples cats and then said cats being invited indoors and eventually staying. I don't understand the mentality of 'pinching' someones family pet.
Not sure what you can legally do but I'd go get your cat and do others have suggested, keep them indoors for a few weeks, the trouble is the neighbour has planted the seed for the cat to return for feeding.

When we moved to our last property, our Ragdoll cat went missing for 3 days, turns out a neighbour had been feeding it ( and obviously had it indoors ) I suggested that if she wanted to keep him, he needed grooming plus she would be viable for the vets bills... she didn't feed him anymore and he never has gone missing again.

Regnamechanger · 22/11/2018 17:19

Get your other cat back and chipped. Get that cat-proof fencing for your back garden so that neither of them can go further than that. The whole family be a bit more careful about letting them out the front door.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 22/11/2018 17:21

Get your other cat back

Please do not do this. The cat doesn't enjoy living with a dog and to get it back and force it to live in the same house would be beyond cruel!

SpottingTheZebras · 22/11/2018 17:22

It doesn’t sound like she has stolen your cat though. You got a puppy so one, quite understandably, didn’t want to live with you anymore and it sounds like you let him live with her and are in agreement with this.

She let you take the other cat today, when he had presumably made his own way over to her house, without any quibble.

I get that it is annoying that somebody entices and feeds your cats but you could either cat proof your garden or keep them/him in.

WorraLiberty · 22/11/2018 17:23

FFS police don't even come to your house around here when you've been burgled.

They're not going to come because someone's cat has been chased out of the house by a puppy.

In fact you're quite lucky you know where the cat is.

PeckhamPauline · 22/11/2018 17:25

I don't see why anyone would steal cats, when the animal shelters are teaming with cats begging for homes.

She probably feels sorry for your cats.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 22/11/2018 17:26

I CANNOT understand why some people feel it necessary to lure perfectly healthy cats away from their homes.

Cats are not rare. They are not endangered species. They are not difficult to source. They are not expensive to buy - in fact, both of my present cats and the three we had before them we free (no - I didn't wave tins of salmon under the nose of someone else's cat. I told everyone I knew that I was wanting a kitten, and people I had never met in my life before got in touch saying effectively "come and help yourself")

Animal rescues are FULL of cats and kittens needing new homes. Why don't these idiots go to one of them if they want cat?

And as for "We'll keep him here as long as you pay he medical bills and insurance etc" STUFF THAT!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 22/11/2018 17:27

Cross-post Peckham

HoleyCoMoley · 22/11/2018 17:30

You were going to leave him underneath the shed in the cold and wait to look again in the morning but he went to the neighbour instead where his friend lives , I know it's annoying that she didn't ring you at 11.30pm to say he was there but at least he was safe and warm.