If you are teetotal.....

[Afternooninthepark]

Do you find that some drinkers can never respect your wishes and constantly try to ply you with alcohol?
I’ve been teetotal for many years mainly because I’m a complete lightweight and get drunk very, very quickly (half a glass of wine for me and I’m no use to man nor beast) but also because I have digestive issues and alcohol leaves me in discomfort but I don’t always want to explain that to people so just say I don’t drink.
You’d think people would leave it at that but they look at me like they just can not believe what I’ve just told them and I then get ‘Sorry???? You don’t drink anything? How boring!’ or ‘Oh come on, just one won’t hurt you!’
Last week I was at a party, sitting and chatting to someone when a woman I don’t know very well stuck a glass of wine under my nose. I politely declined. She frowned and asked ‘Why not?’, I replied ‘I don’t drink’. She laughed and said ‘Oh, come on it’s only one glass, here’ shoving it towards my hand. Grrr, why can’t people get it into their skulls that no everyone drinks alcohol.
It would be like offering a vegan/vegetarian some wafer thin ham because it’s not much meat!
Anyone else get this??
AIBU to just want to drink my drink without getting harassed over my decision that it’s a soft drink and not alcohol?

I too am in recovery but have no problem telling people. I just say something like....no thanks, I've been liking it a bit too much recently so am cutting back.....saves any embarrassment if the person is well meaning. If they are not then....sorry it gives me HORRENDOYS diarrhoea! Usually shuts them up

ShadyLady oh yeah forgot that, when faced with my first team meeting at a new job (basically a piss up) my boss said "I don't trust anyone who doesn't drink."

I was lumped in with a colleague who was a non-drinking, non-swearing, born-again Christian. Who was, unsurprisingly, hilarious and great company when everyone else was dribbling and talking bollocks.

I was at a function in a large hotel and spoke to the staff before the start ( I was there early with the hosts for another reason ) but I asked if they could serve me elderflower presse in a champagne flute instead of alcohol. I didn't get as far as to offer a reason as they said yes straight away - and were so thoughtful - and no one noticed that I wasn't actually drinking ! ( I do usually - but this was a charity event that I needed to keep focused at and not relax and party like everyone else ) its a tip i've now used a couple more times too . Hope it maybe works for you too ?

I only drink once or twice a year and that's basically two drinks. Never get drunk, I hate it and can't stand hangovers. People always say I'm weird, boring or "go on u deserve it". I get so angry with it too!

I'm quite shocked by this. I wonder what age group these people are as they sound really immature.

Two friends I have who don't drink at all - one is a devout Christian, the other a recovering alcoholic. I also have several friends who will drink the odd drink now and again.

This is probably wrong of me but if I met someone and was told they didn't drink my first thought would be around my friend who has really struggled to stay sober and the stupidity of other friends who have either persuaded, or colluded, with the 'just one'

Having said all that I think that the me I was in my 20's would have struggled with the idea that someone can enjoy themselves sober . I'm glad I've grown up a bit.

I just tell people I'm a sober alcoholic and most people accept that without a murmur.

I don't get told I'm boring, probably because being a sober alcoholic suggests that, at least in the past, you were pretty wild.

People who won't accept my answer are usually people with booze problems. I was once really hassled by a drunk at a party. She kept on and on. "But why not?" etc.

In the end I got arsey and said "Why not? Why not, you obnoxious woman? Because if I got started I'd make you look like a fucking amateur." And off she slunk.

I know what you mean! I used to drink alcohol but since suffering badly with migraines I don't drink at tall. I don't find it hard (I'd find it harder to not eat cheese to be honest!) But the reactions I get if I politely decline are ridiculous. By the way my MIL has given me a bottle of wine at Xmas for about the last 10+ years, I always give it away (usually to the cleaner). I have no idea what she thinks I do with it because she has known me 20+ years and I has never seen me drink alcohol!

We served Elderflower Presse instead of champagne for the toasts at our wedding as DH is teetotal and all the weddings we'd been to for the previous few years had just been wastelands of partially drunk glasses after the meal. It was a lot cheaper too! No one complained either (I should add we did supply wine with the meal). We are lucky we have good friends and even the one who is a heavy drinker never pushes DH to drink.

I developed an allergic reaction to alcohol in anything and haven't drunk any for 25 years.
But I still get the "Oh but it's low alcohol" or "It doesn't count in desserts"
So it won't count when I turn bright red and vomit on your shoes?

I don't care if other people drink. Why should they care if I don't? I'm not being snobby or judgmental etc, I just don't want to feel ill for a couple of days

I get this all the time, the worst culprit is my SIL, I have been teetotal for about 6 years and when I was pregnant with my DS (he's 1) she offered me a small glass of champagne and said 'you can have one whilst pregnant' when I politely refused she was like 'it won't hurt the baby' so I explained that I just don't drink, her response 'what not at all?' Grrrrr!! Thing is I had been with my DH 10 years at that point.

I hope this is starting to get easier for you OP. Since being pregnant I have noticed the options in adult soft drinks have vastly improved and when I was still ‘undercover’ restaurants were so accommodating!

OP, I should have said I discreetly order ginger ale topped up with lemonade when I’m out and get no hassle because it looks like it contains alcohol.

I am TT and it is often said that I am boring etc. I am a bit older than those around me who do drink alcohol (and often to great excesses). I am the one who does fun things and never do I have a hangover. I know which life I prefer.

It works the other way though doesn’t it.

At a recent family do a relatives wife looked at me, nodded her head disapprovingly, wrinkled her nose and pulled her face and said “I don’t need to get drunk to enjoy myself”. Oh and no one had more than 2 small glasses of wine in 6 hours and this was at the end of the night.

I hadn’t commented at all on her not drinking and I’d been drinking the same small glass of wine for an hour and a half.

During my twenties when I stopped drinking I actually lost friends over this as they just couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to drink (obviously their loss not mine!). I would have thought that as I’ve gotten older my friends would drink less but we are now in our 40’s and early 50’s and they are still drinking like fishes. In fact they drink more than most 20/30 year olds I know. Several of my friends will drink from Friday night till Saturday night and then spend Sunday feeling like shit. They’ll will often go on all inclusive holidays so they can drink from midday onwards. I just couldn’t and don’t want to live like that tbh.

Iv not drunk alcohol for 5 years yet people still gift me it for birthdays. I just regift it. And its annoying wen people say "ooh let you hair down" or "treat your self" i actuallly dont want any alcohol

I do drink sometimes but more often than not I’ll stay sober and drink sorts at a party or drive.. I really shouldn’t be drinking on my medication (bipolar disorder) as it makes my mh condition much worse, people don’t seem to accept ‘I’m driving’ or ‘I don’t want to drink’ they look at you like you’ve squatted down and taken a shit right in front of them.

Some people are just rude aren't they. I've been teetotal since i was about 20, looking back i can't see why i ever drank really. I don't love the taste of alcohol, and it gives me digestive issues.

If the person has really annoyed me i shut it down by asking them why it matters so much to them, and that i find their very obsessive interest in what i'm doing embarrassing very odd and uncomfortable. If its a polite enquiry, i respond with the truth, that i don't enjoy alcohol, and find it exacerbates a gastric issue, then ' why do you ask'

I'm also a vegetarian, and i would say that is by far the worst one for the overzealous comments,. I can't ever imagine being so lacking in my own life and an intellect that I'd think the specific nature of what drink was swallowed or what food was eaten by another person had a)anything to do with me, and b) said anything about them as a person at all. I find some people just cant bear differences and are so consumed by being judgemental and fitting in socially, that any deviation from it is like a red rag to a bull and they are weirdly threatened. You've got to feel sorry for them really if that's the case, its bloody sad.

I drink but if I offered someone alcohol and they told me they were tee total the only thing I'd do is offer them soft drink options! I think someone who has a certain amount of dependency on alcohol secretly wishes they had the strength to stop/slow down or simply just choose NOT to drink at every social occasion, therefore when they come across someone who can say no/doesn't drink, it makes them defensive and well, rude!

I don't drink because I don't like the taste and I tell people that if they ask. I also say that my husband and I have a deal- he drinks for the pair of us and I eat chocolate for us! Works a treat

I absolutely get what you are saying. I went through it for years in my 20s... now I'm in my 30s people have started to let up. Funny thing is, the worst affenders were/are friends who I think deep down know they drink too much. I've found often times people like this who badger you just want others to drink alongside them, basically so as they dont feel like their drinking is OTT because hey everyone else is doing it right? I'm lucky enough that alot of other friends in our group have cut way back or are also now not drinking which has made it far easier. Tbh I dont care about other peoples opinions on it now...I have nothing against drinking I just dont enjoy it. I had my time doing it when younger but the brutual side effects of it now simply outweigh the reward so no thanks for me. Just dont feel the need to do it and honestly believe that the drinking culture in my country is pretty shocking!!

MIL (who I've known for 15 years); "would you like some wine?"
Me; "no thanks, I don't drink"
MIL; "are you sure?"

There are many reasons why I don't drink. People usually assume it's because I am a Christian, but really it's because I just don't like it!
Sadly "I don't like it" is always disregarded, so I resort to another truth: "it gives me terrible diarrhoea" - that one is acceptable!

I actually have plenty of friends who don't drink a lot, so not drinking around them is OK - but I have naturally drifted away from the mum crowd at school who drink like fish....they are so boring on a night out.

I don't like it so don't choose to drink now. I never really liked the taste very much. I just refuse. it's never a problem. If someone were pressing it on you I suppose we could prepoare lines in advance - eg say

"ugh,, wow you drink alcohol. How awful. I am sorry you have that problem. Do you know all the problems it can cause you? Look at the skin on your neck. I bet you don't feel as good as I do. Would you like details of AA clinics?"

I feel the same about cake