If you are teetotal.....

[Afternooninthepark]

Do you find that some drinkers can never respect your wishes and constantly try to ply you with alcohol?
I’ve been teetotal for many years mainly because I’m a complete lightweight and get drunk very, very quickly (half a glass of wine for me and I’m no use to man nor beast) but also because I have digestive issues and alcohol leaves me in discomfort but I don’t always want to explain that to people so just say I don’t drink.
You’d think people would leave it at that but they look at me like they just can not believe what I’ve just told them and I then get ‘Sorry???? You don’t drink anything? How boring!’ or ‘Oh come on, just one won’t hurt you!’
Last week I was at a party, sitting and chatting to someone when a woman I don’t know very well stuck a glass of wine under my nose. I politely declined. She frowned and asked ‘Why not?’, I replied ‘I don’t drink’. She laughed and said ‘Oh, come on it’s only one glass, here’ shoving it towards my hand. Grrr, why can’t people get it into their skulls that no everyone drinks alcohol.
It would be like offering a vegan/vegetarian some wafer thin ham because it’s not much meat!
Anyone else get this??
AIBU to just want to drink my drink without getting harassed over my decision that it’s a soft drink and not alcohol?

I used to get a lot of comments, mainly focusing on whether I was some sort of "religious nut" or not. DH also isn't a big drinker (has never liked beer at all) and would often get comments about his girly drinks (mixers). It was never really friends who would comment though, it would be colleagues/friends of friends or just random bloody strangers.

Generally speaking it doesn't come up now as my friends don't care about what I drink and really like having a default designated driver. I've also developed a strong bitchy resting face as I've aged so randoms are easily scared off

My sister in law always seems to 'be on antibiotics' whenever alcohol is around. It always sounds a bit false when she says it. Why she doesn't she just say "have you got juice/cola/water/whatever please?". Which is what I do because I don't like taste of alcohol.

I once heard the perfect response from a very confident young man, who when asked why he wasn't drinking, replied, "I can be obnoxious enough when I'm sober!"

I've borrowed this myself a few times and if said with enough aplomb it does tend to shut these bores up. I think it's the confidence which helps, rather than giving the impression you'll waver. (Oh, go on then.)

Although I've often wished I had the guts to tell them that they are obnoxious.

I posted about the same issue this very morning over in Chat! I get it all the damned time, even though I don't drink for religious reasons. You'd think that would shut people up, but nope. Drives me bananas!

@Weezol l'm borrowing that one!! Brilliant!

I think it makes people feel bad about their own drinking quite often, so they'd rather you joined them in the demon drink.

Yes, been called boring over the years, I resorted to saying I was on medication sometimes ridiculous now I think about it

I got sick of going out with a group because of this. I have crohn's disease. When it's flaring, I can't drink alcohol as I will have horrendous stomach cramps and chronic diarrhea. They know this because I have told them.

Then all night it would be "oh just have a glass." "One glass can't do much harm." etc. Or they'd keep saying things like "oh it must be awful for ... not being able to have a drink" as if I wasn't there.

In the end, when they said they were going out, I just said sorry I couldn't make it and we drifted apart

I'm not completely teetotal but rarely drink, and could happily never drink again. When people ask why not, I tell them the truth - I don't like the taste of alcohol.

That seems to work with all but the very persistent. It's hard to argue with, "it all tastes like sand to me", after all.

Wow I'm really staggered that so many drinkers behave in this way and think it's acceptable. I do drink but wouldn't dream of questioning or bothering somebody who doesn't.. I have several friends who can't/don't want to drink and honestly I would never think it was my place to try and persuade them otherwise and they certainly aren't boring!
I hate hangovers and so only ever have a couple of drinks at most and have also been on the receiving end of twats that try to persuade me to drink more and actually on one occasion spike my drink with vodka! That was a so called friend/colleague. She thought it would be funny and that I was just being boring when I objected

Try tellin people you don’t drink alcohol or tea or coffee. They look at u as if ur an alien

I'm allergic to alcohol. Pointing out that they're trying to kill me usually helps.

I've been teetotal for ... 26 years. I got a taste for alcohol at the age of 14, spent 4 years getting falling down drunk and taking amphetamines ("bad crowd") until suddenly, at the age of 18, I just couldn't stomach any of it anymore.

A friend had died horribly in a car accident, off her face on drugs; another choked on his own vomit aged 16 just trying to sleep off a binge; and I nearly ended up a statistic after a particularly heavy weekend finding myself abandoned by my friends, hallucinating and unable to stand amongst drugged up men I didn't even know (I was fine by the way, extraordinarily lucky). It just wasn't fun anymore, and my taste for it vanished overnight - the slightest taste of alcohol made me feel dreadful, and has done ever since.

So when people ask me (which isn't very often) and especially if they suggest I'm boring, I lightly say that after a descent into drugs and alcohol as a teenager and two dead friends, I'm happy to be boring in my 40s thanks.

Generally speaking I find people of my age group are simply interested in why I don't touch it. I don't bore them with the works, I just say it doesn't do anything for me. Anyone that knows me knows I still have fun without it anyway.

I'm bot teetotal but drink so rarely that it wouldn't be difficult to transition to it!
I get it all the time when I'm out, especially with work people who seem to drink for the sake of getting black out drunk...
To be honest I've decided it's much easier and pleasant to stay in with DP and have a cosy night (assuming he isnt working)..

You are not being unreasonable.

I can't drink for health reasons (nothing to do with drink dependency) and have not drunk for 20 years.

I still feel- or am made to feel- embarrassed when declining drink, as if I am a party pooper and no 'fun'.

It's annoying and I don't always /ever want to share my medical history with people, so I wish they'd wind their necks in and not comment!

I wonder how such people would feel IF for example they take sugar in their tea or coffee and I was to say 'Oh good grief, you don't use SUGAR do you? Don't you know how bad it is for you?'

I'd not dream of it, so why do they comment on no booze?

I don't tend to get these comments, but that's usually because I'm drinking tea on a night out instead and that's what they focus on. Are you really drinking tea? Yes, it's all I drink. End of discussion

Yep, same here. It’s mostly why I hate my work’s Christmas party.

I very very rarely drink. It's really not very often anyone will notice I'm not drinking alcohol. On the very rare occasion someone comments, a simple "I'm driving" does the job.

TBH as a vegetarian people have offered me wafer thin ham saying it's not much meat! Not recently though.

I don't drink much either. I just say 'I can't drink' as it's easier. I can't drink because I don't want to!

I’m t total AND vegan....
yup total awkward silence ensues with those little nuggets in company!

I never get it. I keep my circle fairly close and they'd never try to get me to drink alcohol. I've been teetotal for over twenty years but now have a health issue that necessitates it.

Oh and I couldn’t give a single fuck

Yep, I get this ALL the time with alcohol. I’ve also had it with Gluten despite having Coeliac Disease! “oh go on, surely a little bit won’t hurt you!” or, disgustingly, “so you’ll get the shits, what’s the big deal!”, erm no I won’t get the shits, I’ll be in agony and look like I’m about to give birth within just a few seconds and the symptoms will last for about two months!

Someone I met at a dinner party once said, “I never trust teetotallers. It’s like people who never drink tea. There’s just something inherently untrustworthy about them. Suck it up and drink the tea FFS! Take one for the team!”

Erm...what if you are a recovering alcoholic or on medication or have a medical reason why you can’t have alcohol or caffeine?

Coming across these attitudes regularly made me realise that more people than I thought are just knobs.

I've started telling the absolute truth - "The last time I was drunk I got raped in a public restroom, but the rape before that I was sober and I was better able to figure out where I had been taken, where the exits were, a description of the man and how to plot my escape. But that last time, when I was drunk, I couldn't do anything to defend myself, so the next rape I intend to be sober again to better make plot my escape..." and by this time the person's eyes have glazed over and they were sorry they asked me. In fact, they will probably never ask any woman that question again.

I hate this too, one workplace it was almost like bullying as I didn't drink. Also remember two pregnant ladies getting told they were boring for not drinking whilst another pregnant one was in France

My DD is veggie and has been shouted out for not eating a little meat