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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My first experience with a childminder

67 replies

AMOLTE · 21/11/2018 09:40

My first experience of having a childminder for my baby is supposed to be a good one...but it wasn't...me and my partner being quite in a struggle to find somebody when this women contact me on a childminder site...we agree to meet...she seems a nice person at first sight,but us being without a experience of what we suppose to do she did give us straight away to sign a contract...instead of giving us a pre-settled contract to see how it will go with her...if the baby is happy,if we are happy ...she just assumed is best for her and her pockets. In 2 weeks of taking my baby at her ,he was all the time tired...he was not sleeping (and is a good sleeper)this 2 weeks was the worst ..every time I was finishing the days of care with her.. My baby will have diarrhea and vomiting so instead enjoying my days off from work with him...it was going around gp's and calling surgery.l.After 2 weeks with her I did resign from my job and give her notice. I did explain nicely the situation without her feeling uncomfortable but the first thing she said was "this are my money for my food ".so still 2 days to go with her and that 2 days last forever for me,she didn't brief me with nothing what my baby was doing that days,he was sleeping in 10 hours 1 hour(8 months old baby)witch I find it so stressful .last day I did find him dirty and again very tired.So we did send her an e.mail to says the baby dosent go to her anymore but she did want her MONEY of course for 1 month notice. So all she wanted was her money but she didn't over a good service at all.im so stressful now to find somebody else to take care of my baby

OP posts:
Shazafied · 21/11/2018 09:45

Did you sign a contract saying that you would give / pay 1 months notice ?

If yes , you need to pay her.

LaurieMarlow · 21/11/2018 09:47

What does your contract say about giving notice? Did you commit to a month?

Nicknacky · 21/11/2018 09:49

You need to pay her the required notice.

Original poster
AMOLTE · 21/11/2018 09:50

Was 30 days notice...and I did pay her ...is not about money...Is the way she act with my baby after notice and with me.is it bad for me to let other parent know about this on her review?

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 21/11/2018 09:50

Of course she wants her money, it's her livelihood, you say this as if it's wrong? If you signed a contract you owe it to her. She may have turned down other children.

Nicknacky · 21/11/2018 09:51

What has she actually done that is so bad you want to warn parents?

Of course it’s about money to her, it’s her business and livelihood.

Original poster
AMOLTE · 21/11/2018 09:53

I was the only parent she had in month's and the first one...nobody else came to her and I don't think is appropriate for her to act like that..we are all humans and we have to understand each other...do you think I'm wrong?if you want money you have to work hard for it like me and other's

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 21/11/2018 09:54

Yes, you are wrong. You give her notice and can use her services during that time.

She’s working for her money. From what you say she hasn’t done anything wrong.

Original poster
AMOLTE · 21/11/2018 09:55

My 8 month's baby was sick all the time with diarrhea and vomiting...over tired and dirty, even if she had clothes to change him

OP posts:
Shazafied · 21/11/2018 09:55

So you have paid her for the 2 weeks care AND the 30 days notice?

It’s not unusual babies to sleep badly at first in childcare. It doesn’t sound like she’s done much wrong. She has pushed for her money , nothing wrong with that.

YABVU to now slate her online ! Please don’t.

Nicknacky · 21/11/2018 09:57

Dirty in what way? What do you think she was doing that made your baby ill?

Overtired is understandable, your baby was only there a short time and it is a big change in routine for a baby to get used to in such a short time. My eldest never had a great sleep at the CM.

Shazafied · 21/11/2018 09:57

He was only there 2 weeks, the D+V was probably a conicedence. When you say “dirty”, you need to be more specific.

PrincessScarlett · 21/11/2018 10:03

2 weeks is not really long enough for some children to settle into a new childcare routine so it's understandable that your baby may not have slept at hers.

The D&V could just be coincidence as baby could have picked that up anywhere.

What do you mean by dirty?

I don't really understand what your CM has done wrong from your OP.

FlibbertyGiblets · 21/11/2018 10:10

Babies and children do take time to settle into a care provision. Not sleeping and not eating is usual until the child feels relaxed enough. I'm surprised there was no settling in period beforehand - launching a baby straight into 10 hour days is a big ask of the baby.

vandrew4 · 21/11/2018 10:13

are you saying the CM somehow gave your child d and v on purpose?

notapizzaeater · 21/11/2018 10:17

Did she abuse your baby in some way. It's normal for them to pick up bugs from a new setting. They will bring everything home from school.

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay · 21/11/2018 10:21

Did you check out her registrations, qualifications etc?

hewhinessoshewines · 21/11/2018 10:27

I'm a cm kids get sick and go home dirty... they are of course children and we need to be paid!
I love the children but they will make a mess and that's part of learning that's fine.
Getting ill is part of growing up and building an immunity. This especially happens when children start new settings and mingle with over children x

Original poster
AMOLTE · 21/11/2018 10:27

No settling in period...all she wanted was contract...i didn't know anything about it and she didn't inform us, just for her to have this contract with us because she didn't have any other children...My baby was her first and last.when I say dirty I mean bottom dirty and very sour, hands and face.

OP posts:
hewhinessoshewines · 21/11/2018 10:29

Not sleeping... depends on how you settle your baby at home? If u cuddle baby to sleep the cm may not be able to do this for example plus it's all new and that might stop baby from sleeping. was there a settling in time? Did you provide enough time for your child to settle before full days?

hewhinessoshewines · 21/11/2018 10:29

Well from what you have said now doesn't sound ok did you approach her

Lunde · 21/11/2018 10:32

Babies often take a while to settle when they first go to childcare - it is also really, really common for babies to pick up bugs and viruses when they start child care as this is how they are building their immune system by being exposed to bugs - about one a month for the first period

I'm really not sure what the CM has done wrong - I think your expectations may be unreasonable unless there is something else

Moretinsel · 21/11/2018 10:36

Is she an actual CM if your baby was her first and last?

vandrew4 · 21/11/2018 10:37

Did you expect a free settling in period?And again, do you think she gave your child D and V on purpose/

Rhiannon13 · 21/11/2018 10:44

...she just assumed is best for her and her pockets.
So all she wanted was her money
but she did want her MONEY of course

I've been a childminder for 18 years, and the underlying feeling has been that I'm being seriously cheeky asking for payment (currently £6 per hour) despite putting in a huge amount of time and effort with the children. So sad that little value is placed on child-carers in this country when we're enabling people to have the choice to go back to work Sad.

Nothing you've said causes concern OP (other than the lack of settling in period, which is something you should have insisted on as part of the transition). It usually takes at least a couple of weeks for babies to settle and I'm not sure you can blame the D&V on the childminder. Of course you checked she was registered, had up to date first aid etc.? As far as your baby being 'dirty' on collection, do you mean nappy or clothes? Not great if it was nappy, but clothes aren't such a big deal. I've been moaned at for changing clothes because some parents don't want to have to do too much washing.