My first experience with a childminder

[AMOLTE]

My first experience of having a childminder for my baby is supposed to be a good one...but it wasn't...me and my partner being quite in a struggle to find somebody when this women contact me on a childminder site...we agree to meet...she seems a nice person at first sight,but us being without a experience of what we suppose to do she did give us straight away to sign a contract...instead of giving us a pre-settled contract to see how it will go with her...if the baby is happy,if we are happy ...she just assumed is best for her and her pockets. In 2 weeks of taking my baby at her ,he was all the time tired...he was not sleeping (and is a good sleeper)this 2 weeks was the worst ..every time I was finishing the days of care with her.. My baby will have diarrhea and vomiting so instead enjoying my days off from work with him...it was going around gp's and calling surgery.l.After 2 weeks with her I did resign from my job and give her notice. I did explain nicely the situation without her feeling uncomfortable but the first thing she said was "this are my money for my food ".so still 2 days to go with her and that 2 days last forever for me,she didn't brief me with nothing what my baby was doing that days,he was sleeping in 10 hours 1 hour(8 months old baby)witch I find it so stressful .last day I did find him dirty and again very tired.So we did send her an e.mail to says the baby dosent go to her anymore but she did want her MONEY of course for 1 month notice. So all she wanted was her money but she didn't over a good service at all.im so stressful now to find somebody else to take care of my baby

Look, it basically sounds like a terrible fit: neither of you communicated with the other, and when there is a child in the middle that's never going to work.

I met with my CM three times before we made a decision, I went to her house for a coffee, had proper in-depth conversations and she made a ton of notes about my son's likes, dislikes, etc.

It doesn't sound like any of this happened. She should have done more, but so should you.

right, i'm confused. are you saying she asked for her payment 4 weeks early, or she asked for 4 weeks upfront?

Tbh you seem abit clueless about childminders ds goes to nursery I pay in advance some even as for a month as a deposit before you start. In regards to being dirty a lot encourage mess play, I know my da nursery does and he’s covered in paint etc. If you’re baby has an upset tummy of course it’s going to make him sore.

But why should she ask about whether hours were changing? You and her would have discussed it when doing the contract and likely the agreed hours would be written into it.

It's perfectly normal for her to assume the hours stay the same. If you wanted to change your hours then it is up to you to raise it with her. Same with quality of care- you raise an issue if you're unhappy about something

Your expectations of a childminder sound very different to those held by most childminders. Perhaps you may be happier with a nursery, though the same sort of issues will still be present.

It’s not desperate for money. Nearly all CMs require payment on advance to ensure they are paid. She’s following Pacey advice.

it must be very hard, upsetting for you your dc getting ill like that.
i think you should put this in experience box and forget about her.
do what CrookedMe says next time and be careful when you make a contract.

Childminder's are usually paid a month in advance. She would have had no reason to ask if the hours were changing - that is your job, to communicate that to her.

You sound a little confused about the role of childminder, and it might be an idea for you to do some research before you find another placement for your child.

You seem to be inferring that there is something wrong with her wanting to be paid. I assume you do your job for payment or is it just love of the job?

Sometimes you just don’t gel with a minder, and that’s fine. Leave and move on.

By the sounds of it your only real complaint is that your baby had dry poo on his bum?

I’m with you OP, she sounds awful.

TO be fair my impression was that the OP got the impression this childminder was desperate for money. Pushed her into signing a contract before ironing out the details and when OP had concerns about her son's care this lady was only interested in making sure she got her one month notice. She also doesn't sound like she did a good job of caring for her DS if his nappy was consistently dirty.

OP I would take this as unpleasant but a lesson learned. If you still have concerns I would report this childminder. In the future you'll also know to get to know your childcare provider better before committing to their services.

she didn't say the nappy was consistently dirty did she/ i thought it was just once?

She said it was on the last day she found him dirty, not constantly.

wasn't, i was just paying her for that month.she was just desperate for money

Oh ffs you are implying there is something wrong with wanting money! Of course she does it's her job. And it is perfectly normal to ask for a month's fees in advance. Having to take a parent to court to pay their notice payment fees was the last straw for my DH and why he gave up childminding. We had to take a loan out that month. It took a year but he got his money when it went to court and they arrested the Mums wages.

Where does it say nappy was consistently dirty?

i would think very carefully about whether she was a terrible childminder or if you have unrealistic expectations, if she was as awful as you say, you should report her to Ofsted, but remember that decision should not be taken lightly, a complaint to Ofsted can have a massive impact on a childminder and their business, so only report her if you truly feel she didn't take good care of your ds, it sounds from what you've written though that you werent fully committed to going back to work/ using a childminder since you've handed in your notice after 4 days?

Of course CM wanted a contract in place before she started caring for your child. That is what all CMs are advised to protect themselves from parents who do not pay and to set out all their terms and conditions. You say you didn't know anything about the contract but surely you read it before you signed it?

So, was your baby in a soiled nappy every time you picked up or just once? If just once then they may have soiled immediately before pick up so CM may not have been aware. The sore bum can be attributed to D&V which is not necessarily the CM's fault.

There is obviously no communication between the CM and yourself which is not good. And 4 days is not long enough for CM to settle your baby in nor reason for you to pull baby out and resign from your job.

I think it would be very unfair of you to complain about CM based on what you have posted. Babies get ill and it does sound like you had unreasonable expectations and that you didn't communicate with your CM properly.

In my opinion she done a very bad job taking care of my baby...and she was paid by me for that. I think is very stressful for me as mum to see something like this. I did learn my lesson and for sure is not gonna happen again.
Thank you all for your answers and opinion!