AIBU to ask for positive things about periods?

[Inmyownlittlecorner]

DD1, 9 & in year 5, has had the puberty talk at school. It was clearly presented well as she’s now very excited about puberty & growing up!
I’ve always had awful periods, very heavy & painful. I also get a huge variety of pms symptoms, some every month (diarrhoea, cramps, anxiety, extra emotional), some every few months (headaches, javelin arse) & occasionally a brand new one pops up (wobbly legs) & doesn’t reappear again for ages.
I’ve bought her a couple of books to read, but I really want to encourage her to keep feeling that periods etc are a positive thing & to feel empowered by becoming a woman & that it’s all natural & our bodies are bloody brilliant. Does anyone have any words of wisdom/stories on how to do this please??

I think it’s very difficult, because lots of the talk about periods being ‘empowering’ and a sign of womanhood etc can contribute to that environment of women thinking that they have to put up with pain and misery because it’s just part of being a woman. But equally you don’t want to terrif her! I would keep it as factual as possible - it’s a biological process which is great because it keeps her healthy and has useful functions like fertility. It can be painful sometimes but there are lots of ways to help that and she shouldn’t worry about saying if there is pain. That sort of factual, to the point attitude!

Just be factual and unemotional about it. It's a sign of growing up and becoming a woman. It will only be a big deal if you make it one.

I can't think if anything positive you can tell her but a mini positive for me is I get to take Solpadeine. Not only does it take the edge off the pain, but you get a really nice feeling with it. I know codeine is addictive so I enjoy my Solpadeine once every couple of months.

The reassurance I'm not pregnant? That's about it. The relief from the mental symptoms of PMS I get the first day aunt flo arrives?

Not a positive as such but my parents friends (dad sri lankan) had a very different positive attitude. So when my friend (their daughter) started her period her dad’s female family members insisted that she had a party thrown for her. It really was a welcome to being a woman party. It was very positive compared to my mother’s response. To be honest her mother was cajoled into it and was aghast that she was going along with it. It stayed with me and I hope to do the same if I have a daughter.

There aren't any really are there? I mean the actual period.

As PP said it's good to say you're not PG if you dont' want to be when sexually active

Also I'd probably put it like, it's a natural albeint PITA part of having a female reproductive system. Which is part of the system that means that (mostly - and if we want them) we can have babies which reallly is pretty amazing.

Periods in and of themselves are pretty shit.
Of course globally and through history a female reproductive system is as much of a hindrance (to say the least) as it is wow i've made a baby but that's probably not what you're looking to talk about!

iF we lived in a society where periods were handled and thought of differently then it would be different maybe

As per PP made me think

But we don't.

Maybe stress the miracle of the female body being able to create and carry a brand new human being. Part of that is having a period each month.

Gives you a mini reproductive system detox so you stay in good health. The little spike in oestrogen midway through makes you feel good. Most likely not pregnant that month.. Regular periods are typically a sign of good health.

Women can shed excess iron during a period so they are far less likely to get hemochromatosis. It's not snazzy enough to pop on an always advert though.

Don't women and girls get low iron quite a lot though?
Is the flipside!

Yes, they do. I'm accentuating the positives. It's all I've got.

I’d focus on the fact that they are a sign that your body is healthy, and that everything is working as it should.

off the top of my head I can't think of a single positive thing about periods.

Periods aren't a misery for everyone, lots of women don't have any significant symptoms with them. I was lucky enough to be one of those, and I loved the feeling of 'grown-up-ness' I had once I started.

I too have horrendous periods. The only positive thing I can think of, which sounds a bit odd, is the bond it can give you with other women talking about it. A couple of mums at school and I ended up really bonding over commiserating about our shit periods.
That's all I got. Sorry.

Our periods give us our womanly beauty and health.
Like a bud, then a rose that's when we're at our peak.
Then we get menopausal and the bloom withers and goes to seed.
I'm 45 and not feeling positive about the menopause.

It helps you become more responsible because you have to make sure you're always prepared for it.

It gives you a really interesting insight to your health and your body. I don't have to guess and second guess why I might be feeling a bit tired if I know my period is on the way. I can be pretty sure I just need to take some iron pills.

When I wasn't eating enough and my period stopped coming, it helped me realise my body was really struggling in a way nothing else did. During that time I actually missed the warm feeling of passing blood!! (Sorry for tmi there!)

It helps you bond with other women. When I've been new at my workplace, wondering if I'm really fitting in, and another woman in a quiet office has pointed their bum at me to ask it they're alright, I've realised 'okay, I guess I am part of the team now!'.

I was one of the last of my group of friends to start my periods, so I was really desperate for it by the time it came. When it did happen though, I remember feeling quite freaked out, and like I wasn't actually ready to be a woman yet. I hope your dd stays enthusiastic, how sweet! xx

Yes I'm stuck for ideas, sorry....

It's a novelty at first, I remember being quite excited. It didn't become a real pain in the arse for me until after children. Now the only positive is that it's a whole 2 weeks before the PMS symptoms come around again

I'm currently lying on the sofa clutching a hot water bottle. There are no positives to periods. Don't be letting her think the rest of us love them or she'll end up feeling inadequate or that something's wrong with her.

I’m sensitive during a period so can often find solutions to issues or insight into something ongoing. Guess it makes me more reflective. However I also know to sit on ideas for a few days before taking action

Is she too young to read "Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret"?

With my dd we went out and bought her a pretty diddy bag,got the lilets starter pack from boots ans she chose a mini hot water bottle.She was mentally and practically prepared when she has her first period,started year 6.
Then we had the talk about any pain or discomfort and what to do about it(I have aways had horrendous periods but she is OK so far).
I remember telling my dad,parents divorced and he made a big fuss of me being a woman.
I am proud of my dd and that she has taken it all in her stride,no negatives.

I don't necessarily have anything positive to say, but the fact that 50 % of the population have them at some point in their lives, cope and achieve great things may be noteworthy.