What is the fuss about Christmas dinner?

[allupsidedown]

AIBU in wondering why people get in a panic about cooking Christmas dinner. I make the starter (soup) days before and defrost and reheat on the day. The kids help prepare the veg on Christmas Eve as another incentive to show Santa they are good helpers!
Then it is just a glorified roast dinner with a fancier decorated table.
Again the kids help lay the table whilst I cook and other adults muck in where needed.
I just don't get why people get worked up about it. Surely they cook for their family on other days? It isn't that difficult if you prepare and sort out the timings beforehand.
After it is cooked and eaten I leave the clearing up to other adults and get tucked into the gin! Sorted!
I've had people announce on the morning they would like to come (their oven broke) no problem we always have way too much anyway. I've had people not come because of a sickness bug. Again, no problem, just leaves more leftovers for later.
I just don't get the angst. Am I missing something crucial?

The only people I know who get worked up are people who are hosting. A ‘glorified roast dinner’ it may be, but when you’ve prepared 1000s to suit a family of 5, to then add on another 5/10 people and have to worry about quantity, oven space etc I can understand getting into a panic.

I cook roasts regularly and still find it a bit of a stretch. Hard to pre-prep as fridge is already rammed. We have a very small oven, so doing all the extras (cauliflower cheese, ham hock, pigs in blankets, stuffings etc) requires juggling. Luckily I enjoy cooking so don't get stressed, but for someone hosting lots of people who doesn't cook much, I completely get why they would find it hard going.

PS I am a control freak so nobody else is allowed in the kitchen!

I don't get the whole hoo ha about Christmas Dinner. To me it should be a meal that is a favourite and you enjoy cooking and eating. If you are getting into a stress or a flap about it - the cook something else.

I think for some it's an extension of the general Christmas related stress and anxiety. There is so much going on, pressure, living up to peoples expectations, family silent feuds. I wonder if the faff of dinner and the facc that's it's the highlight of the day itself means it's often just the straw that breaks the camels back, as it were.

It is for me anyway!

We have 5dcs and I’m a confident cook, very used to large roasts so luckily it doesn’t phase me, adding a few extra guests really doesn’t make much difference to me.

We have a huge turkey because we all love leftovers and everyone here loves all the trimmings. It’s a lot of work, as you say, roping everyone in to help the day before is definitely the way. My dcs are older now but they’ve always liked setting the table, doing stuffing, pigs in blankets etc, Christmas album on and some Buck’s Fizz, it’s part of the fun.

With having a big family I have a large fridge and a range cooker with a double oven which do make things considerably easier from a practical point of view. I agree with Jesus 😊, if you’re tight on space, lacking in confidence or preparation help, which obviously some people are, it can be daunting.

DEpends where your skills, / confidence lies.

I know people who are teachers, who hate having to stand up and speak in front of a group of adults.
I know people who are pianists - skilled and talented - who won't 'perform' outside of their own living room.
I know footballers who could hit a ball from 12 yards into a goal all day long, but don't want to take a penalty in a match.

Is it that difficult to understand that many people just don't enjoy cooking and feel a lot of pressure to produce a 'perfect' dinner ?

It is just a roast dinner, but I think the expectations of "the perfect day" ramp it up into something else. I've given up to be honest, and won't be bothering much this year. Not sure yet if that is a good thing or not.

I cook for six pretty much every day and have been cooking Christmas Dinners for 18 years but still find cooking any roast is a faff.

Christmas dinner is more of a PITA for me because there's usually twice as many people and often too many 'helpful' hands plus excitable kids, presents to open, toys to play with, guests wanting drinks, elderly relatives needing lifts etc.
That coupled with us doing a big party on Christmas Eve complete with another roast means I'm a bit knackered on Christmas Day.
I prep a lot ahead of time but I find it a real labour of love.

I think everyone’s Christmas is different and that’s ok. Christmas is defiantly not a “glorified roast” in our house. My mum and auntie do it,they don’t stress. But I think I would ! Turkey,ham,roast beef and sausage based stuffing never mind all the trimmings for 18 people takes a lot of time and space in compression to a standard Sunday roast. Now that we are adults we do a bit of the cooking in our own homes and bring it over Christmas Eve to be sliced etc. Brother does the beef and I roast the ham. Can’t wait to eat it all
Thinking about it

I think it's because often people are catering for larger numbers than they do on the other 364 days of the year.

We go for a car very Christmas dinner a few days before then have sausage mash and Yorkshire puddings on the day. No panicking and we spend the day enjoying toys with the kids and eating snacks rubbish. It’s ace

And yeah, it depends on what kind of 'glorified roast' you're aiming for. Turkey and veg is a different prospect to turkey plus a ham, plus two types of stuffing, plus five vegetable sides. Not to mention a starter and two desserts.

I think it is because some people add on so many extras that it does make it hard. The key is to limit these to things people really like. So if nobody is that into cauliflower cheese, don't do it.

Chef We kind of cross posted. I believe in making life easy for myself. So usually no starters, roast potatoes, parsnips, bought stuffing, home made cranberry and port sauce, parsnips, brussel sprouts, pigs in blankets and carrots with cloves etc. Then xmas pudding and/or trifle. More than enough and not too hard to do.

Yes, OP, I think YABU. I enjoy cooking but hate the pressure around Christmas dinner. It doesn't really matter how many are sitting down to dinner, it's the fact that when you start to discuss Christmas, the first thing many people think about is dinner. Either their memories about the wonderful Christmas dinners they've had in the past or the anticipation of the one to come. Add to that the fact that for many, it may be one of the few times the whole family sits down to eat together, especially if like us, your DCs are adults with other commitments, and it's easy to see why whoever is cooking feels an enormous pressure to produce the 'perfect ' meal.
It's not about what you serve - we don't have the traditional Christmas dinner, it's about the emotional connection to the occasion.

I don’t get the fuss either. But I’m nowhere near your level of smugness op

I have been cooking Christmas dinner for almost 30 yrs, and still find it a faff, but depends how many you are cooking for! I admit to cheating slightly so I can enjoy the day, so buy ready chopped fresh veg and M and S cauliflower cheese. Turkey is brought out covered about an hour before serving to rest, I do roast beef ( cos I hate turkey). Frees up oven ( double), for everything else, and shove everything on the table and let everyone help themselves.Starters done on morning and put in fridge Soup done in slow cooker, trifle already done night before and is in fridge. DH helps and we work well together and don't fight . A sherry helps!
We have 9 for dinner this year!
The worst is the bloody cleaning up afterwards, takes forever.

abacucat I'm all in favour of people making life easy for themselves. No one should slave over Christmas dinner if it's stressing them out and taking all the fun out of the day. But there are some people who thrive on that kind of stress and would be horrified at someone suggesting maybe they don't cook five types of potato

Yes true chef. They can knock themselves out, but don't complain to me if you are choosing to make your life difficult.
And I like cooking, but I also want to enjoy the day.

What angst? Are you referring to someone you know OP?

I don't think I know anyone who gets in a state about cooking Christmas dinner. I do know people who get anxious about loads of conflicting demands from family members about timings/which trimmings etc etc.

If you know someone like this maybe suggest to them they leave the cooking to someone else or go out for the day. It's supposed to be enjoyable.

We’ve got our Christmas dinner down to a fine art! DS1 is quite severely autistic and cannot cope with change or too much formality. After a few disastrous and far-too-formal Christmas dinners at my parents’ house (my mum’s lunch is phenomenal but they they take the whole thing so goddam seriously!) we now stay at home, just the four of us, and we all have our own favourite. DS1 has pepperoni pizza, DS2 has macaroni cheese and DH and I have a duck leg or similar. I do traditional trimmings to go round the edge of our somewhat weird Christmas meals, so we all have pigs in blankets with our random food and DS1 has the option of a sprout should he be feeling adventurous (as do the rest of us!). Highly unconventional but it works for us.

The amount of people and side dishes. Especially if someone has a favourite bit that it won't be Christmas dinner without. And depending on the size of your oven, counter space for prep. It can be easy or it can be alot of balls in the air depending on how your family do it.

Some people's Christmas dinner sounds too plain though. Personally I wouldn't want soup for a starter ever at Christmas, but do like some more fiddly starters. Plus we like nice sides, like cauliflower cheese etc, and a choice of pudding. We'd rather have a bit more pressure than a too plain dinner.

I think it is the quest for making everything perfect. Perfection is hard. In my book people should only moan about things not being perfect if they are prepared to do it themselves. So put up or shut up in this house!
I find things like Aldi frozen parsnips are good, just chuck some honey over them at the end and they come out a treat. I've yet to find store bought roast tatties that taste as good as homemade though.
The butcher makes up the pigs in blankets for me so I just have to bung them in.
One luxury I've started using is fancy M&S turkey gravy. It is much nicer than gravy granules and less hassle than making it from scratch. We buy skirlie as opposed to making stuffing as most of the family prefer that.
I just wish the notion that everything must be perfect and that it usually falls on mums to achieve this perfection would go. It is all so commercialised. I think social media and people posting picture of their matching family jumpers round a Pinterest decorated table just make things worse. Why and when this level of keeping up with the Jones happened, I'm not sure. Christmas should have each family's own wee quirks and traditions. I think that is what makes it special.