What is the fuss about Christmas dinner?

[allupsidedown]

AIBU in wondering why people get in a panic about cooking Christmas dinner. I make the starter (soup) days before and defrost and reheat on the day. The kids help prepare the veg on Christmas Eve as another incentive to show Santa they are good helpers!
Then it is just a glorified roast dinner with a fancier decorated table.
Again the kids help lay the table whilst I cook and other adults muck in where needed.
I just don't get why people get worked up about it. Surely they cook for their family on other days? It isn't that difficult if you prepare and sort out the timings beforehand.
After it is cooked and eaten I leave the clearing up to other adults and get tucked into the gin! Sorted!
I've had people announce on the morning they would like to come (their oven broke) no problem we always have way too much anyway. I've had people not come because of a sickness bug. Again, no problem, just leaves more leftovers for later.
I just don't get the angst. Am I missing something crucial?

It's alright Greensleeves you aren't invited. It might sound rich but no one is forced to eat it all.
I'm not a huge fan of the carrots but dsis loves them so they are now a thing in our house.
I didn't tell anyone to calm down. I just don't understand the fuss and horror. It is family! Last year, I forgot to take the Brussels and pancetta out. No one died (though I was tempted to just chuck the entire cremated mess casserole dish and all)

Oi, reread my post OP! I was quoting - I don't think Christmas dinner can be too rich, personally

I agree the cooking isn’t that bad. What can stress me is:
Its expensive
Other people are ungrateful (or i expect too much)
Everyone wants to drink and relax - me too!
Getting it out hot is a bit stressy
The oven is too small

Now I think of it as my job - then boxing day i do what i like

Sorry Greensleeves it was Scatteredthoughts who was dissing my dinner! Greensleeves, you can come.
There is always enough for a few days of leftovers anyway!!

Everyone's different, . OP can whack it out like a pro, others can't.Nothing wrong with either scenario in my book. Space, oven size, fridge space, shopping etc etc all stress you out, especially when you have the likes of Nigella on tv looking serene whilst cooking 15 courses for 20 people & not a hair out of place & telling you how easy it all is.

Someone people can't cook for a crowd & that's when I've generally found people getting stressed. I'm the queen of roasts in my family but I'm cooking for 12 singlehandledly this year & have to confess to having moments of 'oh you complete & utter moron, WHY? Lol.

Chef
It was in full view of everyone so much hilarity ensued. Joint efforts managed to rescue a few but I've never been allowed to forget it

The only time I got stressed was the first time I cooked for 18 people for Xmas. I built up a picture of perfection beforehand and planned carols and the smell of mulled wine as people arrived. There was far too much food with many many choices, and I was too tired to enjoy it. Since then I have made sure that I am actually going to enjoy the day,

I'm in the "glorified roast" camp. I've cooked for 10 in my small(ish) kitchen, and had time to pop to the pub for a pre-lunch drink. Left the turkey and gammon in the oven while I did it, too!

A few years ago, DP and I catered for (iirc) 18, but cooked at SIL's where they had a massive kitchen with a range cooker. It was a doddle, because we had so much help. A small army of people peeling and prepping veg (7 veg dishes, incuding cauliflower cheese), kids did pigs in blankets, rolled stuffing into balls and whisked the batter for Yorkies, the grannies washed and cleared up as we went along and BIL refreshed my G&T at frequent intervals. The only things that were bought pre-prepared were the cranberry sauce and the pudding, and I made the brandy butter a few days before. DP was in charge of turkey, I was i/c gammon and DP made the gravy (he's King of Gravy, so it's always his job).

The only time it was a bit stressful was one year when the gas pressure was so low the bird took 3 hours longer than it should have done. That wasn't too stressful in itself, but all the booze I took on board during that 3 hours meant I was more than half-cut long before dishing up, which made things a bit chaotic. Everyone else was pissed by then though, so I don't think they really noticed.

It's not the dinner. It's the expectations.

And sorry, the poster up thread who said she doesn't get why people get stressed either... after all, she just goes to her parents or her DH cooks..... try cooking it then yourself one year!

Christmas can be a bugger if someone in the family [eyes off my Mother] gets their knickers in a twist about it being perfect, and the family all coming together in some sort of Hallmark film harmony. The Christmases in my childhood were filled with angst, anger, tears (usually the adults) and more.

One of the better Christmases I recall was when I was about 13 and the cousins all took turns popping my older cousin's pimples in the sitting room while the adults screamed and smashed crockery in the kitchen.

It is the same with people stressing about making their tree look perfect and perfectly ethically sourced presents wrapped in environmentally friendly brown paper then covered in masses of bows and bells. Why do people get so worked up!?!

Honestly though... I reckon people[women mostly] get worked up because we are being sucked into the idea that we have to be the perfect everything. Perfect mother, employee, wife, friend, daughter. We have to effortless manage a household that looks like it stepped out of a glossy magazine. We have to be calm. We have to sacrifice everything for those around us yet still find 'me time'.

And we have to do all that while still being slim, groomed and making memories for our families.

Christmas brings all that expectation into an environment when we are forced to spend time with people we may not like; and where there is too much booze.

I find it a faff and I am a good cook.

I have 7 people in my house, at Xmas it usually increases to 10. My oven is small, my fridge and freezer is small and jammed full of other Xmas food, so preparing things early isn't always possible.

The day is busier obviously. On a normal roast day everything is calm. On Xmas day the children are all excited, there is stuff everywhere and my stress levels are generally higher. The stupid pressure I put on myself does not help, even though no one gives a shit if something turns out wrong.

DH has cooked it the last few times we have had a roast at Xmas and he finds it stressful too.

I do not find it the same as cooking a Sunday roast. A few years ago we had a buffet instead and that worked well. DH will be doing that again this year. I am working and will get Xmas dinner at work then my family will come round when I am home and we will just eat any left over buffet food if we feel like it.

its the lack of space that causes stress for many. I live in a flat and don't have a seperate dining room. So cooking a roast dinner and sides in my kitchen (one oven) with 8 people crammed round a table in said kitchen is stressful however you do it. Not enough room for everyone to help, not enough room on work surfaces.
I can cook it no problem, with some cheats like most people, but I'm not looking forward to the squeezing past everyone and not enough room and will be glad when its over.

I like the idea of a buffet

I just don't understand the fuss and horror.

But can you really not understand that some people worry over things that other people wouldn't give a second thought ? I'm sure there are things that stress you out that other people would be fine with.

I don't agree with that girl. I've done Christmas for 25 years and whilst the organisation is stressful the festivities aren't. We host it and pay for it. The people are different, our fathers have died, the children have grown and and boyfriends/girlfriends vary from year to year and there are now widowed aunts.

They don't have to come but will always be welcome and can take us as they find us. Nobody found out the year I dropped the turkey on the kitchen floor!

@AChefIsTrappedInMyCellar

It is lovely to have two get togethers. Especially since in our family there is NO argument about politics. We all agree that the biggest turkey in the White House is NOT the one being roast for their dinner!

Agree op- fridge and oven space is a bit of a pain but just need to plan a bit . I don't even bother with starters - have a startery snack before we nip to the pub for a drink so we are not famished but otherwise it is just a fancy roast- and less is def more:
Turkey, roast spuds, stuffing , carrots and parsnips and Brussels.oh and pigs in blankets of course
I make cranberry sauce and stuffing first thing then get the rest prepped mid morning
No one even wants puddding but I get someone else to prepare that later after lunch if anyone's still hungry

Cooking the Christmas dinner is one meal I really enjoy cooking.

I don't have any help in the kitchen because I like to do it on my own,I pour myself a nice glass of wine or bubbly,stick the radio on and start prepping and cooking.

There's 7 of us and I always do a 3-4 course meal every Christmas and the meal is something we all look forward to.

I wouldn't have a clue. Live alone so never cooked roasts and I think I've eaten Christmas dinner once in my life

Am I missing something crucial?
Well, the ability to imagine that other people are not you and put yourself in someone else's shoes for a minute, perhaps?

Roast dinner with pigs in blankets
Piece of luxury meat from M&S

Family of 6 here and whilst I agree that the cooking itself is practically the same as any Sunday roast, the thing I find hard is that I don’t want to spend the whole time in the kitchen.

If it was a normal Sunday roast, I would be happy to potter in the kitchen for a couple of hours, giving it my undivided. But on Christmas Day, I don’t want to be shut in the kitchen I want to open presents and socialise and play with the DC. It’s that split focus which makes it more stressful than normal.

The advantage of living in the north of Scotland is using the garage as a fridge!

Only the 4 of us this Christmas but I have promised this year I am going to go all out on the meal.

I will do a turkey crown. No one likes the legs so no point in cooking a whole bird.
A large gamon slow boiled in cherry coke. Large enough to cover Boxing Day and maybe some left for sandwiches.
Roasties
Roast veg will be a mix of parsnips, carrots and onions.
Stuffing
Boiled peas and cabbage. I shredd the cabbage and cook with the peas.
Yorkies and gravy.

Puddings will be shop bought things like pavlova and fancy miniature ice creams.

I don’t do starters.
So for us it is just a larger roast with an extra meat and some extra roasted veg. Should be fine as I have done bigger and for more people in pervious years.