To think this was obvious!

[GremlinDolphin1]

Only 1 dc and I eating together this evening. As I went out this afternoon we discussed dinner and she asked if we could have tomato risotto.

I said (this is the important bit!!) “yes, good idea and while I’m out can you just check in the greenhouse and see if there are any ripe tomatoes and let me know how many as I’ll pop to the shop on the way home and get some more and some Parmesan”

Text arrives in a bit “5 tomatoes”.

Fast forward 3 hours to me arriving home and starting to cook “Where did you put the tomatoes darling?”

“Oh I didn’t realise you wanted me to pick them, I just counted them!”

She had even had a conversation with her father as to why Mum wanted tomatoes counting and he just thought I was being a bit odd!!!

Thank you huggybear!

To be clear I am not being smug or dismissive of her, we just all laughed about it and I put it in here in a light hearted way as I thought it would amuse. X

Instruction was count, I'd have counted. The instruction wasn't to pick.

Oh and yup I'm a darling-er.

I would have counted not picked. I am also a Darling-er!

MOST PERTIENTLY - what's the best thing to do with my remaining green tomatoes (no green house here)? Chutney?

The postscript to this is that her other job yesterday was to fill the bird feeders (as she does every weekend) and when I got up this morning they are nearly empty again - she filled them with seed rather than peanuts so the seed has just slipped through the gaps!!

What next - you tell her to redecorate the spare bedroom and collapse into a state of catatonic horror because she painted the walls instead of knowing via osmosis that she should have used wallpaper?

What if the count was 5 but you only needed 3? Would you have been as equally annoyed that she picked all 5 of them? If you wanted them picked, you should have said so.

Actually picking them would honestly be something that just slipped my mind. I would probably just have counted them too unless you asked me to.

Sorry but she does seem to lack common sense . From your examples provided.

I would have counted them. What if there were 15 tomatoes there, and the meal only required 6 .....you'd have been annoyed that she'd picked them all and then you'd have to use them immediately. Counting was what you asked for, and counting was the sensible option too.

I get that you meant this lightheartedly OP, but given that about 80% of responses have suggested that your instructions were actually a bit unclear, and presuming that most PP do have pretty good common sense, perhaps it might be a useful opportunity to think about your communication style and the assumptions you might be making, and see whether you could be clearer?

I also wouldn't have picked them. Be specific.

my mum still calls me darling.not not not in the "oh darrrrling" way I think people are thinking of though.its not often so when she does it.it melt me little arrrt.she also calls me sweetheart.especailly when im ill or sad so it make me really emotional thinking of it now lol.
but she also addressed me as poo face and shit head sooo I think we have the balance just right no? ;)

Well 14 isn't really a "child", so that's not the issue or a lack of common sense. I know I already answered but I went back over the discussion. If she doesn't know how to make risotto or how many tomatoes you needed, then I don't feel that it's fair to say shes lacking common sense. I think the main thing here is communication. Neither you nor her communicated very well here. She could have asked you "How many do you need?" after she answered you if you answered her back after that, but equally you could have told her "Could you pick ... please?" for however many the recipe required.

The birdseed thing also wasn't really her fault either. Certainly nothing I would personally get upset about. Just a mistake. Doesn't mean she's lacking in common sense. I certainly wouldn't keep bringing up every little thing that in your opinion she does wrong because that's just kind of a dicky thing to do (not saying you do, I just mean I wouldn't).

@GremlinDolphin1

If there had been 20 ripe tomatoes and she had picked all of them what would your response have been?

I would have just counted.

Always say ‘darling’ to my DC. As my parents still do to me. Nothing unusual surely?

Tomato risotto?!?! Is that even a thing?

I think you did need to be more specific in your instructions, actually. She might not have known how many you needed - there might have been 10 and you might only have needed 5 and if she picked them all, then she might have got into bother for picking twice as many as required.

I'd have just counted too. I know this is supposed to be a light hearted thread but I have to ask, do you often laugh at her 'lack of commonsense'? I'm projecting here, but if you do, it's really not a great thing to do to her self esteem. If you don't, then apologies and ignore me!