AIBU primary teacher branding granddaughter racist

[midlifediva]

AIBU I am fuming, grand daughter was told off by her teacher and called racist, she is only 8. A child in her class siad her new hair style was horrible and made her look poor, she retaliated by saying at least I am not Russian. (the other child is Russian) She was punished by her teacher and marked as racist in some "bad mark book" The other child was not punished. She then cried and when her friends tried to comfort her they were also punished. She is good at school, works hard and is frequently praised for her kindness to others. This new teacher has overstepped the mark IMHO..

Gonna just leave that there. Au reviour 😂

Deflecting are we ?? Hypocrisy??

Not at all.

Actually having worked on a community project helping young disenfranchised people who deal with racism from an incredibly young age and how it affects their entire life I think it’s important that we deal with incidences of racism in school swiftly and as per the law dictates.

@Breadfoam
But l worry about the hurt and internalised self loathing that comes with being subject to racist behaviour.
And it escalates when children get older racist words becomes spitting and beating up people of different backgrounds which is why it’s taken seriously.
Instead of whining about your children being labelled racists stop them from using racist words to classmates it’s really that simple.

Both should have been reprimanded. It is not fine to attack someone on the basis of their economic status. Op’s gD should be told she CANNOT respond in this way when provoked, but it Is obviously absurd for the child who started it to be treated as a victim of a racial hate crime.

The other child should have been reprimanded for rudeness but your granddaughter has learned a valuable lesson hopefully - calling out other people's differences in a negative way, particularly nationality/race is unacceptable

ghana I do get that which is why I advise ds not to say it. In case it causes offence. It’s just that he doesn’t get why it would I suppose, he is in some ways much younger than his 9 years.

I worry about ds (9) being branded as racist. He is on the spectrum and occasionally has described one of the children in his class as having ‘skin like chocolate’. I tell him to be careful about what he says and his response is ‘I like chocolate, it’s a nice thing to be like! I’m white like milk and I don’t even like milk!’
Do kids get labelled as racist for comments as the above? I know ds definitely doesn’t mean it in an unkind way but I guess it’s whether or not offence is caused. I guess better he just says nothing but I don’t think he sees it as any different than describing hair or eye colour.

It's a comment that could be recorded (if you see my previous post a child who described my DD in that way had her comment recorded), but only because schools are legally obliged to record any potentially racist comments.

In any school I've ever worked in that kind of comment, from a child that the staff know means it in the way your DS says it would be recorded (because it has to be), they'd have a chat with him about not saying that and speak to you (again because they have too). But it's not the case at all that it follows the kids around like a bad smell.

It's there to stop things going under the radar - a school with a particular issue, a family with an issue (I worked in one place where a parent swore blind they had no idea where their 8yo got to know a particularly disgusting racial slur. Several years later it became clear when a younger sibling used exactly the same one) or to record particular issues in an area - a spike in racial comments against a particular ethnicity or nationality after a large influx of people for example. It's not to brand young kids who don't know what they are saying for life.

@Breadfoam if he attends a mainstream school he needs to be aware of the fact black children don’t like being compared to food or animals it’s dehumanising and he will be very unpopular

Ghanagirl, I'd be interested in your view on my example - I posted it earlier but I think it got lost. My autistic 4yo was going through a phase of calling everyone and everything "poo-head". He said it to everyone, me, the cat, kids at school etc (and we did train him out of it!). Inevitably he eventually said it to a black child and it was logged as a racist incident.

I was very upset indeed at the time, felt he'd been branded a racist at 4 etc, but I didn't complain because I do think it's important for racism in schools to be logged and monitored, and could see the argument that the other child might have experienced it a a racist comment. I'm still not sure how I feel about it tbh - I certainly know that there was no racist intent in what my son said.

I'm not trying to be antagonistic btw, I hope it doesn't come across that way.

I genuinely don’t see how this is racist - OP’s GDD is white, Russian girl is white. At the most, it was xenophobic but I don’t agree it was racist, and I feel it diminishes actual racism by saying it was. I also don’t believe that the OP’s GDD was being xenophobic, she was just responding with something in return for being told her hair made her look poor, which is a bloody rude thing to say.

Both girls ended up being as bad as each other and should both be equally dealt with.

ghana he is very unpopular because he’s on the spectrum and can’t make friends but I don’t think that had anything to do with making any comments that could be perceived as racist. He hasn’t said it at school as far as I’m aware, no one has told me he has and I’ve told him not to anyway.

I genuinely don’t see how this is racist

Racism includes nationality. It's been pointed it a few times on the thread.

@usertall - with respect, I don't think you know what you are talking about.

Both children did wrong both should be punished, i dont think what your grand daughter said was racist, i do not believe it was said in a racist way. It was just the only thing she could come up with at that moment to hurt the child as she had been hurt. Making comments about looking poor in my opinion was as bad. Comes across as snooty and mean.
Why does everything come down to racism these days, its 2 children of young age swapping insults nothing at all to do with race. I would explain to your grand daughter that next time she needs to tell the teacher if someone says anything mean to her like that again and try not to retaliate. I would be having words with the teacher about why the other child has not been punished for her derogatory remarks towards your grand daughter.

Luckily the law explains it all for you, River.

Some guidance of from my LEA which clarifies the definition of a racist incident.

Again.

The teacher is BU for not knowing it's xenophobic, not racist.

The teacher is BU for not knowing it's xenophobic, not racist.
Look at Feenie's post above.

@craft1905 Of course! Now you say it. OF COURSE.

I am not in the UK, although I am a Brit, so missed the atmosphere of tension after the poisonings, but have thought recently that there might be war between the UK and Russia.

Oh and my not being in the UK but in another country means I experience xenophobia all the time. It's crap and it means my chances at life are greatly reduced compared to the natives... but it's not racism.

Ffs, the teacher is using statutory guidance and is bang on.

They are all stupid..because the definition of racism does not include nationality.
It would indeed be xenophobia. But i guess the law and the schools can just change the meanings of words when it suits these days.
I do not think for one minute that the OP Gc meant it in a racist or a xenophobic way, it was a retaliation in response to an equally horrid comment, it was maybe the only thing of noticeable difference that the Gd could use as an insult.
Im sorry but saying someone looks like a poor person as an insult is quite nasty, and shows a level of shallowness thats quite worrying at 8. Both should be spoken too but racism..no i think thats a bit much.

It’s not schools. The legal definition of racist includes nationality. And has since 1967 or something.

I'll repeat my question Fru. Why is verbal abuse of a xenophobic nature seemingly OK?
Because all this banging on about semantics seems to be saying that?
I live abroad btw. With a daughter. And if she was verbally abused at school because of her nationality I'd damn well want it going in a "bad book".

We can’t really blame schools for following the law!

I think the teacher should have spoken to both children and explained to them that what they had both said was out of order. Using the word racist is not helpful - it is just a meaningless label to the child. The teacher could simply have said that what both of them said was unkind and that kindness is the most important thing.

As for telling off those who tried to comfort her - being told off for being kind!!?? I don't think so!