Children in Pubs

[MaryJenson]

On a Friday evening, hordes of them in the bar.

Drives me mental!

I can well remember how mindlessly boring pubs were when I was a kid. Mind you, my parents were crap generally.

Just because we have kids doesn't mean we have a right to inflict them on everyone, anywhere. If your kids are running around, (creating real risks in places like pubs and restaurants) and making a lot of noise, unless it's a creche or nursery, it's not automatically OK. If we're bringing them to public places, they have to abide by the "rules" - sit in your seat, use your inside voice, and go home if you have a meltdown.
I took mine all over the place when they were little but the minute they kicked off, I either went home or took them outside.
Yes, parents need a life, but we chose to be parents. Other people didn't. Take the rough with the smooth - screaming kids are not pleasant and we shouldn't inflict them on other people where we have the choice.

YABU - if you don’t want to be around children then go somewhere that doesn’t cater for children , Clubs / bars etc .
My kids love going to the pub when we do it , albeit not that often . The adults get to socialise and have a drink , the kids get to socialise and play with friends . We can all have a meal together and a chat which is hard to do in each other’s houses .
The pubs we generally go to have childrens areas inside , teddy machines etc , or play areas outside , and we generally stay until they ask the kids to leave , usully when food is finished being served between 9pm-11pm .
No harm and it’s rarely , if ever on a school night .
There are many adults only places you could go to ! Why should kids get pushed out ? Aside from that if they didn’t allow kids then there are some that would just leave them at home alone anyway ...

In fact when my little ones were little we took them to a Wetherspoons (family place) for lunch .
Someone complained at our toddlers being too loud , and the waitress came to ask us to quieten then down . I said if you can keep them quiet then feel free if not then ... do one !
Needless to say I complained to head office and they were not impressed !
Why should I not be able to take them out for a nice lunch should I just feed them in McDonalds ? Then again the same people would complain

I don't have an issue with well behaved kids in pubs not being neglected by parents. But really, apart from nightclubs for young people and casinos, there are no kid free places. So totally wrong to tell people to go to places where there are no kids.

Christ if someone complained in a Weatherspoons, I suspect your kids were being totally out of order.

Depends on the pub, surely.

We always go to the local pub straight from work on a Friday for one or two drinks, home by 7.30. It's one that has a children's/ family area (stuff for toddlers and games consoles for older children) and we always sit there. We discovered long ago that normal pubs and toddlers don't mix well (though to be fair, before our local was built, we still used to go for a Friday evening drink from work at a different pub and took toys to keep them occupied for an hour or so). Always family places though. Beyond 8pm pubs aren't great for kids generally, people getting drunk and lairy (as is their right of course) and increasing risk of them witnessing aggression.

In my experience people's opinions on this matter usually stem from their childhoods - if they themselves spent time with parents in pubs or clubs they think it's fine, if they didn't they don't.

I didn't and I couldn't think of anything more depressing than sitting down the local with a five year old, plying them with crisps & fruit shoots.

Just not my idea of fun.

I can remember years ago going to Greece and being quite impressed that families were in bars and restaurants in the evening and nobody batted an eye. It really brought home to me home child unfriendly the U.K. is.

I remember going to Greece / the continent and being quite impressed with how well behaved the children were in bars and restaurants in the evening

Yes, those are the only two options for lunch: Wetherspoons or McDonalds.

Twinsmummy5

I, along with several others who were trying to eat their lunch in peace, complained about a group of children racing around the tables, screeching and jumping off the steps in Wetherspoons a few months ago. We're these delightful little charmers yours?

If I was the waitress and you had said that to me, I would have been very tempted to make your kids behave.

I feel sorry for the children. I know a pub near me where they've had to put a sign on the bar saying no more than 3 drinks if you've got kids with you. So many kids brought to pubs so their parents can get their fix whilst the kids are neglected.

I think it depends on the pub, the parents and the children tbh. We often go to the pub for tea on a Friday or Saturday. Actually for tea, not to get wasted! Mine are now 4 and 10 but have gone from the first one being quite young. The rules are simple: you sit nicely, you don't get down from the table (unless you're going to the toilet), you talk, no shouting or generally annoying anyone else. On the very rare occasion one of them has started misbehaving then it's straight out of the door, no question. But luckily that's only happened once or twice when very young and probably over tired. We just tend to eat and leave, probably in there about an hour. I can't abide kids running around anywhere in fairness, in grinds on me totally. When we were kids (many moons ago) you were expected to behave. Now everywhere you go there seems to be feral kids with parents who are happy to turn a blind eye as long as the kids are leaving them alone. Running around shops, restaurants, pubs, cinemas, garden centres, I witnessed it everywhere. Selfish, self centred parents who have no thought for other members of the public. I fear we're bringing up a very selfish and entitled generation!

It's the norm now. Parents just want to have their life as though they have no children and to heck with others. Can't stand those places where kids are running about in the evening. People can be at work all day and look forward to an adult atmosphere in a pub,/restaurant in the evening. Wouldn't be so bad if kids sat quietly at a table but they aren't checked, allowed to mess about, create noise and run around. Haven't been anywhere that allows children in the evening for years because of this.

We take our 5 year old son to the pub and he's been going since he was born. But we leave by 8 and he knows how to behave. He doesn't run around and doesn't scream and shout. He either sits and talks with us or colours or plays on the iPad. If he misbehave we'd be out of there.
When other kids behave and parents just let them run riot it annoys me as reflects badly in all of us. But as pp's posted. Pubs are dying all around and if parents going for an hour or so, having a couple of drinks and feeding their kids helps keep them going and keeping them sane then I don't have an issue with it.

I didn’t think kids under a certain age were permitted in bar areas after a certain time. Anyway, no - I don’t agree with it at all. My DP and I have a 4 yo together. We haven’t been out alone together in the evening since before he was born. We chose to be parents and we don’t have anyone to babysit. So that’s that until such time as he goes to school, makes friends and has a sleepover. We can’t bloody wait. However, if we went out to the pub and the bar was full of little kids I would not be bloody impressed.

So totally wrong to tell people to go to places where there are no kids.

Why?

People aren't actually entitled, despite what some seem to think, to have childfree pubs made available to them at the expense of other people's commercial viability. Or family friendly, or real ale, or any other type of venue one might want.

By all means posters can take the view that they wish there were more adult only spaces, that's fine. But seeing as the hospitality industry is going where the money is, and mostly that's family custom over childfree, what else actually is there to say to people who want something that doesn't match what a venue wants to offer, other than go elsewhere? Those who want adult only, but have found themselves in venues where their money adds up to less than family friendly money, aren't going to get very far waiting for those pubs to decide to cater for less lucrative clientele.

"People aren't actually entitled, despite what some seem to think, to have childfree pubs made available to them"

I think I am entitled to go to a pub that doesn't have anyone running around or dragging someone else along the floor, whether adult or child. And it's not me who's not behaving inappropriately for a pub so it's not me who should leave.

"In my experience people's opinions on this matter usually stem from their childhoods - if they themselves spent time with parents in pubs or clubs they think it's fine, if they didn't they don't.

I didn't and I couldn't think of anything more depressing than sitting down the local with a five year old, plying them with crisps & fruit shoots."

Not sure. I think I might have enjoyed pub lunches on a Sunday or something as a child and I accept that pubs have to some extent replaced restaurants or cafes now as places that families go to eat.
What I saw last night was completely different though. Drunk parents on a Saturday night completely ignoring their children. I don't think my problem with that stems from the fact that my parents didn't take me to pubs as a child.

Your response doesn't pertain to what I wrote gwen.

You're wrongly conflating expectations about behaviour of patrons and expectations about age of patrons. Not the same thing at all.

"You're wrongly conflating expectations about behaviour of patrons and expectations about age of patrons. Not the same thing at all."

It's related. The kids were 'misbehaving' because they are kids. It's normal that they were bored of being at the pub because it's not a place for kids. Also, if adults were behaving in this way, they would have been chucked out so we had to endure the behaviour because the patrons in question were children.

You presumably aren't trying to argue that it's impossible for a child to behave in a pub any better than the way you mention, as that would be batshit. My post was in response to someone who was complaining about the lack of child free places full stop, not merely behaviour. This is why your response to me doesn't work.

the parents who use it as a creche and dont control their kids nope

anyone else sitting quietly is ok

I'm fascinated by how many people are anti children in pubs. AFAIK you can take children to all our local pubs (and dogs in all except one). I only have an older teenager so haven't thought that much about it, but certainly there's often children in the one I go to most.

I've never experienced it as any sort of problem - given that lots of people in pubs are loud and obnoxious, ones that aren't likely to start a fight (and hopefully aren't pissed) seem a relatively minor problem, no?
(Now if you wanted a campaign against really loud shit bands starting up on a Saturday night just when you're listening to a really juicy piece of gossip, I'd very much be on your side. Fortunately the next pub along does Sky sport but not music!)