My husbands drinking

[colswife]

Hello.

So a little bit of background. My parents were alcoholics, I had a horrendous childhood looking after them, and my sister when we were younger.

I probably have a very unhealthy attitude to alcohol as in I get on to my husband when he has a drink. I don’t mind him having a drink, but I mind (very much) if he gets drunk or he drinks too often. I actually nag him, I go in bad moods with him. I’m not saying I don’t have a drink I do, but it’s only when I’m going out, and I know when to stop, I know what I can and cannot drink.

My husband used to have a drink at the weekend, but he wouldn’t ever get drunk (he would only normally get drunk when out with his friends which is very rare), but then it started going onto spirits, he would have a couple of glasses at night, then it started to get to nearly every night, but still only a couple of glasses a night. We are in Scotland, so the amount you are allowed to drink is very low.

I would lie worrying in bed when he was getting up for work the next day.

I spoke to him about his drinking, told him I wasn’t happy, but I feel he isn’t listening to me, he just says he will be okay, it’s fine, he will be fine to drive the next day but it bugs me BIG TIME.

I HATE it that he drinks every night, I would actually rather he didn’t drink at all, but I know that would be unfair to him (he isn’t my parents).

He knows what I came from, he knows everything about my childhood and I just feel he doesn’t listen to me at all, it’s like he is dismissing me and my feelings.

So is it me, is it just my unhealthy attitude towards alcohol.

There’s one small G&T a night though and then there’s a bottle of gin over 5 days... which is what the op’s Dh does.

I mean, I know a drink every day isn’t recommended, but to me, if it’s one small drink and never more than that, it’s probably not so bad.

I don’t drink daily btw as I have to watch myself due to family history of alcoholism. But I also know healthy, happy non problem drinkers who have always had a small Sherry in the evening, but never any more than that. Maybe one extra at Christmas. I think that’s preferable to being a binge drinker who drinks a skin full, acts like an antisocial wanker and is out of action all of the next day with a steaming hangover... but only at weekends, so that’s ok to some of them .

There’s an app, designed by UCL I think, which I use. It’s called Drink Less. The quiz at the start is quite possibly a load of bollocks, but the app is really good. Would recommend. You can set your own goals. So I do under 14 units a week with three alcohol free days. It makes you stop and think before you drink anything. Also trains you to steer clear of strong drinks.

What size is the bottle btw op?

Faery i agree that a pub single measure of spirits and filled to the top of a long glass with mixer - and only that one drink - is preferable to other options.

It's the hand pouring that is the slippery slope.

OP how would you feel about him having a couple of low alcohol glasses of something every night? Near beer or something.

When I gave up i really had to have lots of tasty soft drinks in the house.