To choose a baby group over career development? Ie Future careers prospects vs immediate flexibility

[MsRosewater]

This is more WWYD than AIBU plus posting here for traffic

I have a nearly 1yo DD. DH is (for now at least ) a SAHF and I have to work full time to make the finances work. I have a fairly senior healthcare manager post in a NHS trust I’ve been with for a while. I commute 90 minutes door to door. I know the organisation and am trusted to get on with things but I’m at a level where I’m unlikely to have any further internal promotion.I’ve agreed a flexible 4 day working week with one of those days at home ( so 3 days in the office, 1 day work from home & 1 day off)

I’ve been offered another role close to home. Salary will be the same with reduction in commuter costs offset by loss of London weighing. It will be very good (actually essential) experience for further progression working for a different organisation and different geography; team and manager seem very lovely, it’s just up the road just 20min door to door. This will be great when DD starts school and DH goes back to paid employment

The problem is potential new job can’t agree flexible working (ie one extra day off a week) as routine ; they need me 5 days a week with as and when flexibility

I love having a day off to do thing (baby groups etc) to the point that I’m thinking of turning down the offer. Is this daft?

⁃	I’m unlikely to get a future promotion without experience of working outside my current organisation and 
⁃	the role on the table is ideal  in every way bar the hours...
⁃	I may kick myself for passing on a local job DD starts school 

Just to add, the new job people have been very nice and reasonable in their discussions re hours; if I were them I’d want a full time person too

I get that I’m really really lucky (this all sounds a bit humble-brag!!) but I am genuinely struggling to decide

Job! Being local when school starts a winner....nativity needs only a few hours off rather than a day etc etc....

And it's the perfect job from the sound of it??

Thanks CloudAtlas! It's pretty good on paper- bit scared of the change Tbh but that's not a great reason to pass on the opportunity x

I would grab the job with both hands .... being closer to home is such a bonus when it comes to drop off at school and childcare...

The whole baby/toddler group is fun and nice to do, but only will last another year before the children go into childcare/play groups/ day care ...

Go with the local job, well worth not having to spend time on commuting. And once you're in the job and have proved your marvellousness, you can have another discussion about flexible working further down the line.

Job.

Job!!

I have a stupid commute and I am never able to do drop offs/pick ups etc. I have to book the latest possible appointment for parents’ evenings and rush back for 6.50pm to make it, and getting back for 5.30 for the start of the nativity is hellish. I can’t go to anything at school in the day because it takes a whole morning or a whole afternoon out (and I’m a teacher so I can’t do that).

After my next mat leave I am definitely moving closer to home!

If you need to work FT to make ends meet, does that not mean your 4 day week would have to come to an end soon anyway? In which case, if you've got to work FT sooner or later, obviously the near home promotion.

Go for the job, as previous posters have said, the situation with flexible working might change down the line.

Local job. Find a toddler activity for your other 2 days.

Take the job.

Job job job. The groups are such a brief thing. I get where you’re coming from (as I picked a day off in the week so that I could do these things with my kids), but the job is something which will have long term pay back and you’ll be so
Thankful for that later on. Your kids don’t even remember all those groups and things later on. Ever.

Job, Job, Job.
find a weekend activity you can go to so you feel you're getting that time but opportunities like this career wise don't come around that often

Job.

If your commuting is dropping from 90mins to 20mins, twice a day, that's 7 hours over the three days that you're working in the office - enough to compensate for your extra working day.

I relocated with a similar drop in commuting time. Suddenly all sorts of chores (shopping, library, house clean) that we used to have to do at the weekend could be done in the evening, and we had our weekends free. It made a huge difference. (And it took us ages to make the decision too!)

What’s the pay difference between the two jobs?

Your existing job-you’ll only be working 4 days, does that mean you’ll (E.g.) get paid £20k pro rata of a possible £25k salary but with the other one you’ll get the full £25k?

If there is only one of you working at all and that’s only part time (4 days) -is that enough to cover the bills?

I’d take the new job. You’ll also find that many of your mummy friends will go back to work shortly and it won’t be the same

I'd take the local job.

I'd take the job in a heartbeat, your toddler can learn to socialise elsewhere. I found plenty of times to do this as hated baby groups.

Job!

Local job. Easier for your husband to go part time at some point when your child gets free hours. Also less stress with travel and more confidence from progression. Good luck.

Very tough one. I've been in an almost identical situation, twice went for a local job, twice realising that I'd rather travel further away working for an organisation that values me, where the office politics don't overtake everything and where flexibility is seen as normal (on both sides) rather than something to beg for and made to feel guilty.

The problem is you don't know how it will be until you're there so it's hard to turn down the opportunity to have it all.

I would say take the job, as this will benefit you more in the long term - particularly when she starts full time education.

Baby groups are great, particularly because they enable us to build up links to others in the local area. However the benefits are short term, as some of the parents will eventually move or go back to work. You will also meet new sets of parents as your dd gets older.

One of the most difficult things for mothers returning to work is maintaining their career momentum and it sounds like the new job will help you do this. Also working practices are changing and you might find that your job becomes more flexible.

No contest. Job. Career progression and reduced commute make it an absolute no brainer. Once you've settled in, passed the probation period etc, you may be able to negotiate flexible working, but for now I think you should just go for it and get stuck in.

You don't even have to worry about childcare as your DH is a SAHD.

I would much rather work 4 days and travel a bit than work 5, especially if the money is the same.

Can you ask about buying extra leave? Might give you a few more days at home.