To choose a baby group over career development? Ie Future careers prospects vs immediate flexibility

[MsRosewater]

This is more WWYD than AIBU plus posting here for traffic

I have a nearly 1yo DD. DH is (for now at least ) a SAHF and I have to work full time to make the finances work. I have a fairly senior healthcare manager post in a NHS trust I’ve been with for a while. I commute 90 minutes door to door. I know the organisation and am trusted to get on with things but I’m at a level where I’m unlikely to have any further internal promotion.I’ve agreed a flexible 4 day working week with one of those days at home ( so 3 days in the office, 1 day work from home & 1 day off)

I’ve been offered another role close to home. Salary will be the same with reduction in commuter costs offset by loss of London weighing. It will be very good (actually essential) experience for further progression working for a different organisation and different geography; team and manager seem very lovely, it’s just up the road just 20min door to door. This will be great when DD starts school and DH goes back to paid employment

The problem is potential new job can’t agree flexible working (ie one extra day off a week) as routine ; they need me 5 days a week with as and when flexibility

I love having a day off to do thing (baby groups etc) to the point that I’m thinking of turning down the offer. Is this daft?

⁃	I’m unlikely to get a future promotion without experience of working outside my current organisation and 
⁃	the role on the table is ideal  in every way bar the hours...
⁃	I may kick myself for passing on a local job DD starts school 

Just to add, the new job people have been very nice and reasonable in their discussions re hours; if I were them I’d want a full time person too

I get that I’m really really lucky (this all sounds a bit humble-brag!!) but I am genuinely struggling to decide

There aren't many positions higher than an 8d so you're already in a v senior position.

I'm band 9 and have 2 small DC and a 75min commute each way. I work 4 days a week.

I could get an 8d position closer to home but then I'd have to work 5 days to maintain my salary, and I'd miss baby groups! So I get your conundrum.

8d is v.v.senior and demanding. I think there's a lot to be said for coasting a bit whilstvDC are very little. You say you know your job well, but an 8d elsewhere would likely be increadibly demanding and without the headspace that your current job offers in terms of flexibility.

Honestly, I'd stay where you are

Factoring in the commute, is it going to make much difference in the time spent? They are both full time anyway, just with a different distribution of hours, and you'll save 5 hours 20 minutes each week in commuting with the nearby job.

I don't know what time your child goes to bed etc, but from what you've said, the new job might even give you more contact time not less. You just feel like the old one does because you get it all in a long bloc.

Not saying you should take one or the other btw since I don't know much about the roles either way, and nationalshiteday makes some good points. I just think it doesn't make sense to worry about not spending enough time with your child if you take the new job, since at worst there won't be much difference. I don't suppose you'll see much of her at all on the days you work a long day with a 1.5 hour commute either way?

Take the job! You're not even prioritising your career over your child, you'll have 3h more every day to spend with her, for many years to come. You'll never need to take a whole day off for sports days, Christmas concerts, school workshops and such. You'll be able to do the occasional school drop off/pick up if the job is slightly flexible. You'll be able to take her to activities in the evening when she's a bit older. Baby groups last for such a short time and are pointless anyway.

You can’t say she’ll have 3 extra hours a day with her child because we don’t know what hours are expected in the new job. The OP might be expected to work longer hours.

She might, or she might be expected to work shorter hours. The point being, factor in commuting time and don't confuse more time available in a bloc with more time full stop.

Are you considering a second child?

Four long days in a row means you won't see dd from Sunday night until Fri morning surely? There is no way in hell I would ever agree to that personally! Would be the local job for me, every time!

Given that your DH doesn't work, I really think the 5 day week sounds like a much better option, however only you know what will work for you!