Spectacular Parent Fail- AIBU to ask you about yours?

[toothfairy73]

Just had a relaxing afternoon as my DD (6) has an after school activity today. Parked up outside the school early, have a leisurely moment, stroll up to pick her up; only to discover I'm half an hour late. They've tried calling my mobile (I left it at home), they've called work and my husband (who is going out of his mind with worry), I'm mortified.

DD happy; she got to go to after school club and eat pizza.

AIBU to ask you about your parent failures to make me feel better....?

I'm usually fairly on the ball with school stuff but I have forgotten a non uniform day...school was virtually next to Sainsburys so I bought an emergency outfit! I also totally forgot to sign a consent form for my ds to play in a concert...he was so upset. I felt like the worst mother ever!

Cut the top off my son’s ear once

DD1's lunchbox contained not sandwiches but 4 raw pork sausages which had also been wrapped in tinfoil. The head thought it was so funny she rang me to tell me. I texted it in to Chris Evans drive time show on things I forgot to do today (check the lunchbox contents) and it was read out so the 'raw sausage girl' was delighted at her moment of fame!!

Dp was playing a lovely "pulling up the floppy child" game with dd3 who was about 2 at the time. Pulling her by her arms while she let her body dangle limply. Best game ever. Hilarious. The we realised she wasn't using her right hand at all, and was a bit pale and clammy. Straight to a+e. He'd dislocated her elbow! She wasn't in any pain (?) and the nurse was terribly nice as she relocated it, but dp will never forgive himself. She is a bit hypermobile we know now.

Raced to Tescos as dd3 was the only child in school not in a christmas jumper and it was closer than going home for one of her sisters ones. I forget flutes so often the mad dash home is almost weekly.

The very worst though was being late to pick dd1up. I'd been caught in traffic so was speeding along the country lanes and had hit a phesant. Got to school, and pulled into the bad parent emergency spot right by the path. Every one of the 60 odd kids was treated to the mangled remains that were wedged in the now broken bumper, at small person eye level on my huge shogun. There were feathers and bones and gristly bits every where, and lots of tears . Pheasant had the last laugh, the new bumper was £280.

I moved her to a more local school not soon after, and now drive a tiny C1!

My mum sent me in with cheese rolls. Yum. Except they were plastic cheese slices.....with the plastic wrapper still on.

Coming back from paris to edinburgh with 3yo ds, flight was rather turbulent and all he kept saying was jesus christ 🙈 i was mortified. Lady behind me was in stitches and told me not to worry about it as she was a nervous flier and it had took her mind off the turbulence which made me feel marginally better lol

@Kemer2018 @BabySharkDooDooDooDoo 😂😂😂😂

Just gave 9mo his first ever chip to celebrate some good news today. He normally eats a super healthy diet, zero processed food, everything from scratch.... Well he loved the chip so much that I gave him another three and then he vomited all over himself...and myself...twice. Bad, bad mummy. Granny was in on it too in fairness to me.

In an effort to encourage independence my sister asked her 2 ds's to sort their own school lunches out. She got a phone call from school later that day to say the teachers had confiscated the 9year olds tin of stella.

My first day back to work was a complete disaster. I forgot to take my packed lunch which was on the kitchen table. And I left my wallet in my bedroom.
So I had to ask a colleague to buy me food at lunch time. I’ve also actually missed a couple of scheduled appointments due to lack of sleep the night before.

My DD is obsessed with raisins, we used to call them baby crack. You've guessed it, we gave a packet of raisins to 2 year old DD - Yay! Baby crack! We call them raisins again now

Well there was the time ds1 broke his arm. He was mucking about in the playground after school and fell off some play equipment. He landed palm first with his arm out straight. I didn't see this happen.
He is a massive drama llama at the best of times, and I didn't believe him when he said he was sure he'd broken it. In my defence, this is a child who thinks he's dying and screams high enough to break glass just from a stubbed toe.
So I started walking us home. Stop making a fuss ds1, it was just a little fall, you can still move your arm so it can't be broken...
Cue him turning grey and nearly passing out when we were exactly half way home. Had to call my mum to help. We went to A&E and he had a complete supracondular fracture of the elbow. Six weeks in a cast.
And there's the time I sent him to school when he was quite ill and I didn't realise. That morning he was quieter than usual and didn't make a fuss about getting shoes on etc. I should have twigged then!
When I went to pick him up his teacher said he was very tired and had fallen asleep during story time. I gave him a hug and realised he was burning up. Ooops.
In preschool he always had a change of clothes in his bag in case of accidents. He never had any, so I forgot to check the clothes he had in there. Until one day when he'd got carried away on the water table, got soaked and they put on his spare clothes.
This was the day they were taking lots of photos. Lots of lovely pictures of ds1 with trousers half way up his ankles and a tshirt that was almost a belly top. Darn him and his growth spurts.

Rang DS in one Monday morning because he was poorly. The school secretary rang back and said, "Thank you for letting us know but it's inset day today"

I sent DS to secondary school in a Christmas jumper - but the day was wrong. He was mortified and had to borrow uniform from them to wear.

In my defence it was the proper Christmas jumper day and I was wearing mine to work. His school had decided to do it on a later day instead.

Was waiting for DH to check us out of the hotel, DS and I sitting on the sofas in the lobby. I playfully pushed DS backwards and he slid sideways and hit his ear HARD on the wooden arm of the sofa. I felt terrible about it but it was worse the day after when the whole area was black with bruising. He wears glasses which always makes that kind of bash worse and he was so NICE and forgiving about it too.

DH did similar giving him a playful push out in the park. Of course DS went over like a ninepin. Poor boy!

I also took him in to school in Y2 in his own clothes when it wasn't a mufti day. He didn't care though, and school were nice about it.

He also was bouncing about on our bed, aged about 3, and went off the side, head colliding with the chest of drawers on my side. Trip to A&E to get the cut glued. Was on DH's watch, that one...

One of the highlights of my parenting career was setting off for the school run without realising DD wasn't actually in the car...

I did realise (had just received stressful message) as soon as I was on my way, but the traffic and road set up meant it took me a good 10 minutes to get back, by which time - bless her - she had gone to a neighbour whose DD went to the same school to arrange her own lift.

The guilt...

readmylips

I know!! he d been to all the open days etc as well. I was a bit gobsmacked. In his defence though, he'd just got back from working away on a month of nightshifts and was running on autopilot and took them to the other secondary school just done the road from DS- He hasn't lived it down yet!!

@Serin She got a phone call from school later that day to say the teachers had confiscated the 9year olds tin of stella.

You have just made my day 😂

Not a parental fail but someone vandalised my car yesterday when shopping after work - ripped the wipers right out of the car and it was raining so couldn't drive it. The police gave me a lift home almost 40 minutes away and just as we pulled into the drive I remembered that the house keys were still in the car.

Thank goodness for the key safe I had installed so that the farm could get the dogs out in the event of fire, etc.

My Ex thought it was funny to call the dolls Slut Barbies until our 3 year old copied him.

Sent dd in on world book day in her favourite onesie as Curious George.

You can guess the rest...

Not exactly a parental fail but close! When I was childless I met a friend in the NAAFI with her two children, one in the trolley and the older one walking but really miserable, he had a bad cold. I said I would take the little one into my trolley and she could then let the poorly boy ride. At the checkout they loaded your stuff into another trolley and you went into the packing area, which I did. I could hear a howling baby and someone called out 'Whose is this baby?' Took me a couple of minutes to realise that it was temporarily mine!

I once drove off with my sons book bag,water bottle and school letters on the roof of my car scattering them all over the road behind me onto a perfect PTA type parents car who would never fuck up at anything but didn't appreciate a water bottle bouncing on their windscreen!
They were on the roof as I got into a habit of placing them on the roof whilst I strapped my son in his car seat and I just forgot to move them. I truly honestly thought it was only in films people did something this stupid.

What's worse is I didn't even notice I'd done it. I had to own up to the passive aggressive post on the Facebook group for the school.

My daughter, about 14, was going into school later one morning. I got a visit in my classroom from the Deputy Head, in stitches. My neighbour had called the school because my daughter had exited through the first door into the porch, slammed the yale lock and not realised that she didn't have the key to the outside door so she was trapped in the porch and had managed to attract the neighbour's attention.

Misswig, I've just cried laughing!!!