Spectacular Parent Fail- AIBU to ask you about yours?

[toothfairy73]

Just had a relaxing afternoon as my DD (6) has an after school activity today. Parked up outside the school early, have a leisurely moment, stroll up to pick her up; only to discover I'm half an hour late. They've tried calling my mobile (I left it at home), they've called work and my husband (who is going out of his mind with worry), I'm mortified.

DD happy; she got to go to after school club and eat pizza.

AIBU to ask you about your parent failures to make me feel better....?

Brett

My husband retrieved our young son from a bouncy castle.....and promptly got bounced off it, child in arms. He fell in a spectacularly odd way to avoid landing on the child, but down like a sack of spuds he went!!

Ooh Shannon, you've reminded me of mine which is similar to yours...

Took toddler DS to buy new slippers - he wanted to wear them in the car on the way home so I let him. Parked on the drive, took him and my bags inside and then thought - "drat, i've left the shoes he'll need to put on to go to nursery in the morning in the car".... took three steps towards the car and thought "hang on:" turned back to the door but the little b*er had shut and bolted it in my face. I had my front door key in my hand, but it was no use as the door was bolted from the inside.
Major panic ensued, not least because he was starting to worry on the other side of the door but I couldn't make him understand that he could unbolt the door himself...
Neighbour phoned DH at work and he arrived like the 7th Cavalry with the key to the back door, but it was the longest ten minutes of my life........ and the very next day I had a threatened miscarriage and ended up in bed for two months.
Oh, and we removed the bolt from child height and put it at the top of the door!

My mum once sent me to nursery with no knickers on. She’d taken them off because I’d wet them a little and forgot to put clean ones on me before taking me out. Oops. Apparently not even me complaining my bum was cold on the walk there jogged her memory.

I once left the baby on the bed while I grabbed another nappy or something. Don’t ask me why. Stupid thing to do. He fell off. Obviously. Luckily his fall was broken and very well cushioned by the shockingly high pile of (dirty) washing on the floor

Put a DVD of Bruno into my 10 year olds xmas stocking. I thought it would be like Ali G. All DC watched it while waiting for us to get up on xmas day. We watched it on boxing day and discovered exactly how inappropriate it was for their age. When we asked them about it they totally took the St Micheal out of us and went on to recite the most awful scenes ... cringe.

@BrettAndersonscheekbones I once had half a raw onion wrapped in foil instead of a coconut mallow biscuit in my packed lunch because of foil lump confusion

Playfighting with DD at 5 yrs old and knocked her wobbly tooth. Got a phonecall the next day from her teacher wondering why she was proudly sharing the story of Mum punching her tooth out. It would be a safeguarding issue now.

Dd1 has had two McDonalds meals this week. The first, on Sunday, was a rare treat along with the cinema. The second was tonight because dd2 needed new shoes and the little darlings became hangry and Ive lot the will to parent. It was a second McDonalds or seeing if Boots would exchange them for a No7 moisturiser.

Lived a good forty minutes from kids schools each way - regional Australia.
Picked up DS6 from school, drove home.
Then realised had forgotten to get DS3 from nursery.
Good three hour round trip mistake.

( did it two more times)

Have also got dates wrong that school went back, giving both DS's extra days holidays.

Hadn’t realised that DS aged 2 had got into bed with us, rolled over and knocked him out of our very high up bed. He cried - well wouldn’t you be ejected out of a bed while you were sleeping - but was fine.

Brett, I had a similar one when I was at school. We were off to Howtown in the Lakes for a week.

A lad in my year had his packed lunch for the trip there in a large Vitalite tub (showing my age here). Imagine the joy on fifty teenage faces when he opens the tub to find a full tub of butter!

I was shopping with my mum when DD was about a month or two old. Put her in the back of the car while she was sleeping, my mum strapped DS (aged 2) into his car seat while I put the pram in the boot.

As I went to open the driver's door the doors locked. We looked at each other and realised neither of us had the keys.

Turns out I'd put them in the little storage thing in the car door before putting DS in the car and he's swiped them and locked the doors.

Cue ten minutes of me frantically trying to convince DS that he shouldn't throw the keys on the floor and that he should press the button and open the door. It took another woman running across the car park with her keys and showing him the button for him to finally do it.

The relief I felt was immense but I couldn't actually believe that he'd done it and not thrown them on the floor. I thought I was going to have to ring DH at work half an hour away to go to our house for the spare key (which would have them taken him a further half hour to get back to me) or my mum would have asked some handy nearby workmen to break the window. To this day I can't believe what happened that morning!

I've now got a keyless entry car!

@lovelydovey I did that once to ds1, he woke up with a massive thud and then started screaming
I once opened the living room door and didn’t realise ds2 was behind the door, his foot got caught under the door and ripped his big toe nail off he was about 18 months old.

DH dropped dd at school and took ds1 who was 4 months old with him so I could sleep in, he left the pram (and baby) on the playground, he got all the way home before he remembered, I saw him though the window stop, look down and then realising he was missing something run off.
One of the other mums text me to let me know and started walking round to drop him off!

I forgot a school trip once, a school trip for god sake. Sauntered up the road with DD (about 8), and see three coaches outside. ‘Ooh are Year 6 off to the Isle of Wight?” I ask...’no mummy, we’re going to Monkeyworld remember’....

Returned from a shopping trip with few month old DC2. Put grizzly DC2 still strapped in the car seat on the floor and went back to the car to get the bags before getting her out. The door banged behind me. I'd forgotten to put it on the latch and I'd left the keys on the coffee table.

I lived in a road with a few retired people and bless them, they tried everything to get back into the house, picking the lock, getting a ladder to see if they could get to the slighty open top bedroom window and get through. We rented the house and in my panic, I couldn't remember the name of the agent.

Meanwhile, we could hear DC2 screaming and wailing in the house and I was getting more and more upset. My lovely neighbour was calling DH at work and on his mobile. I didn't know he was in a meeting, so it took ages for him to call back. We finally made contact and he called the estate agent, who screeched up in his convertible, like something out of a film, with the spare key. Reader, I could have kissed him!

By the time I got into the house, DC2 had gone to sleep. I thanked my lucky stars that she was in the car seat and wasn't a bit older. The house was open plan and if she was crawling / walking etc then I can only imagine the trouble she might have caused!

Took 10 week old DS to our new caravan for Easter holiday, put him to bed in his carry cot that was on the side dinette table, got in bed & started to drop off, heard a crash & woke to the carry cot stood on end on floor, DS was stood bent double under carry cot. Moral of story, make sure the table is properly attached to side wall of caravan.

For some reason the packed lunch fails have me howling with laughter. Especially the scraps from the day before but closely followed but the block of cheddar 😂😂😂

Oh, and I also forgot the tooth fairy. Twice. The first time, I wrote an apology letter from the Tooth Fairy, claiming dds tooth had fallen out ahead of schedule which is why she hadnt got her coin. The second time, I told dd it was because shevwasnt brushing her teeth properly and that the toothfairy wouldnt come until she did. Im my defence, she had been a complete bitchlington regarding brushing her teeth in the previous few weeks. I feel guilty though.

@lady @unknown

@BrettAndersonscheekbones @LadyMonicaBaddingham 😂😂😂 I feel much better now. Thank you ladies xxx

Oh this is so outing 😂😂

Ok my mum used to care for ds while I worked. On my first day back from maternity leave, I get a call, ds has been sent to hospital meet Mum at the end of the road jump in car and we whizz ds there. The rest of the day is a blur but it was horrible.
On getting home Mum starts freaking out, can’t find the keys to my house. I’m like whatever, use mine, I just wanna feed the baby and go to bed.

At this point next door pops out and says oh here, you left these in the door earlier (to Mum)
She looks confused and says but how?? They say oh, someone was outside making an almighty racket thinking sheldonoscopy was hurt or something happened to baby because door was wide open, keys in door, nobody to be seen 😱😱

Nothing was missing but to this day she still can’t believe she did that, all I can say is who cares, my son came first so thanks!

My parenting fails: DD liked to be tossed up, but I made sure she never actually lost contact. One day she tucked her legs and head down, flew right over my head and hit the ground in front of the parish priest and congregation.
Feeding her stewed red pepper, and getting a frantic phone call from DW who thought she had a GI bleed when it caused a bright red nappy.
Taking her to school without knickers, as I'd had four hours sleep after a night shift.

Tooth fairy forgot to put her glasses on and put a Euro under dc's pillow - we live in England.

Took my daughter in to school dressed for Victorian day, only discovered later I'd got the day wrong , and , it was school photograph day ..
she at 21 still hasn't forgotten !

Took my son to school ( 13 yrs ago or so now) when it was the start of the holidays. Spent about 5 minutes wandering around thinking why is the school shut and ended up being told by a random passer by that it's the holidays , didn't you know !?
In my defense they usually had this particular Holiday a two weeker, but that year split in to two separate weeks at each end of the the month ( who does that !!) They've never done it again thankfully..

Oh and referring to the kindergarten group 1/2 teacher as a rude word in Dutch in front of about 30 sets of parents, it was a genuine accident because those words sound similar and I was still learning the language at the time..My husband pissed himself and still mentions it to this day..
I've had many language fail moments at school come to think about