To wonder why anyone wants to be friends with a quiet person

[dustowl]

I have a few friends, and they seem to like me. But I often wonder why, I'm quiet and I wonder why they wouldn't want to spend time with louder funnier people . I imagine it's a confidence thing , but anyone else feel like this ?

I have a very quiet friend but she's still funny. I imagine you're probably better company than you think.

Some loud funny people can be very obnoxious and quiet people can be nice to spend time with

No.

But I think I'm a big head!

Honestly though we all like different things. Outgoing people can be too much in my personal space unless they are very socially adept.

Quiet friends are good listeners and most people like to talk about themselves .
I’m sure you’re a great friend.

Are you me? I often feel the same .
In my better moments I know that I'm kind and thoughtful and would help anybody but on a crowd I get lost and have been aware of a few friendships that have been one-sided like I've just provided an audience for the friend to talk about themselves for an hour. That said, when people ask me how I am I don't usually have much to say beyond "fine"

Loud outgoing people scare me. I like quiet chats and laughs over coffee

I can be quite loud and find my quieter friends balance me out. And sometimes I love nothing more than just sitting in my living room, drinking tea with one of my quiet friends. It's a comfortable silence and I love it.
I on the other hand wonder why people want to be friends with someone who has a huge witch cackle like mine 😂

I’m sure you have a lot of great qualities that are about more than being the life and soul of the party. Sometimes people like that can be a bit much after a while - maybe your friends appreciate someone they can have a normal conversation with, who will listen rather than trying to dominate.

Your friends may like spending time with more outgoing people too, in different scenarios - it doesn’t have to be one or the other.

For what it’s worth I love so called “quiet” friends. Being in the company of a mate watching a movie, heading to a house party, we have loads of shared experiences and friends and that’s what binds us. When he speaks he often says things of great import and no small humour. He’s a legend and we all love him for who he is. Keep right on so to speak.

Loud people do my head in. If you are quiet and thoughtful you don't need to fill the time with meaningless noise.

Loud people are fun sometimes but sometimes you want a quiet person to have a more laid back time with. I’m pretty quiet and have a mix of both quiet and loud/more outgoing friends. Quiet people can still be funny, fun and a good mate!

Everybody brings something different to the (literal and metaphorical) party. You might be quiet but I imagine they find you funny, engaging, interesting, kind, attentive. I have a real mix of friends: ranging from the very loud and gregarious who can always be relied upon to make me laugh and encourage me to go out; to those who are very precise and thoughtful and bring consistency and calm. We all value each other’s differences and qualities.

Quiet isn't a personality flaw!

Loud outgoing people need listeners.

I am a loud person.

I hate it.

I am the life and soul of every party. Joke joke joke. Shrieking with laughter. Always happy to make a fool of myself, take the attention.

I love my quiet friends. They ground me. They help me slow down a bit. Calm things a little.

I wish I was more like them in a lot of ways.

I also love being quiet on my own with a good book and a cup of tea - but if someone was to walk in, I would become loud again. I don't know why.

I don't know why people want to be friends with me. I'm bloody annoying.

Loud people are generally annoying. And like others have said they need an audience.

You sound fun Jay!
I like genuine chatty people as it gives me a break from worrying what to say next!

Quiet people can be calm. They can listen well and respond with real thought rather than just shoot their mouths off. When they do speak it;s often worth hearing.

Because quiet people can make great listeners and great company, it can be tiring being around loud people who want to be the centre of attention,

I'm one of the louder bolster people and my quieter friends as another pp mentioned ground me and balance me out just by being themselves

I firmly believe they help prevent me from being obnoxious

Plus people are never two dimensional i like to be quiet too sometimes and can be with them

The person who considers herself to be my best friend is somewhat of a gobshite whilst I'm quite quiet. We rub along because I can sit quietly without too much pressure to talk while she loudly rants and complains. I don't know what she gets from me, apart from the abity to go on with no one getting a word in edgeways.

I have two DDs.

DD1 (age 26) is loud and at times very overwhelming. She can dominate any social event. She has loads of friends but they are all quite loud too. She is fun but a little of her goes a long way!

DD2 (age 20) is quiet and so peaceful to have around. She is at uni and has a huge friendship group. People like her because she is grounded and never panics. She is a real stabilising influence.

There is room for both types ( and all those in between) in the world.

I am sure your friends love you OP for the sense of calm and peace you bring to their lives.

People try to be my friend because I'm quiet as it gives them the opportunity to talk endlessly about themselves. It's quite stressful for me to be subjected to their selfish drivel. The silly things must actually believe that I'm interested in their non stories.

I become even quieter as a result which makes me even more of a magnet. Can't win.

I get what you mean OP. I'm really quiet too and don't know why people spend time with me. I'm a good listener though!

My loud friends exhaust me - the are lovely but just so tiring and wearing - they often need an audience but it can be very one sided

Time with quiet friends is restoring, fun, interesting and usually a more mutual time .

Stay just the way your our OP