To wonder why anyone wants to be friends with a quiet person

[dustowl]

I have a few friends, and they seem to like me. But I often wonder why, I'm quiet and I wonder why they wouldn't want to spend time with louder funnier people . I imagine it's a confidence thing , but anyone else feel like this ?

I've never understood people who think 'quiet' is an insult.

You find that with quiet people,when they do speak it is because they have something to say,unlike some people who talk incessantly about nothing,not letting or caring about anyone else get a word in.They are the bores,not you x

Because they're not as annoying as a loud person.

I'm fairly quiet but I'm still funny and have many friends some of whom are louder than me and some quieter. I know my louder friends come to me to talk because I am a good listener. A room full of loud people tends to be deafening with everyone talking over each other. A balance of quiet and loud is better.

I prefer quiet people to loud people!

I've never understood people who think 'quiet' is an insult.

Neither have I. But then plenty of MNers think it’s ok to insult chatty people.

OP most people have a range of friends. People appreciate their friends for a whole variety of reasons most of which are nothing to do with how loud or quiet they are.

I mostly try to pick friends who are kind, interesting and sensible. How chatty or otherwise they are doesn’t bother me at all.

Reads like you just want to knock yourself, OP.
Noisy people can be fun but they can be exhausting (at best) & overbearing (at worst).

My quiet friend has become my best friend and I love her to bits. I feel like I have won the friend lottery. Quiet friends listen to you! And they also pay attention to you. She is kind and a caring. My husband is not quiet. I like the fact he is entertaining. He is also kind and caring but not such a good listener! Its good to have a balance in life.

Unless you're a mute then you presumably do speak/express opinions occasionally? So why wouldn't somebody want to be friends with you?

I’m quiet and calm and good in a crisis. I’m dependable and always ready help. I’m only quiet in a crowd and one to one or in a small group I’m quite chatty. I just don’t like being the centre of attention.

I made friends with a girl at school who rarely ever spoke! When she did it was worth saying. Over the years I discovered she has a wicked sense of humour. She came out if her shell more as we got older and we've always been loyal friends. Still friends 25 years later!

Because you probably have a lot of lovely qualities they like too :)

I don’t care if someone is quiet or loud but I wouldn’t be friends with someone who was so quiet it was awkward to spend time together. I’ve met a few people like that where they’re very quiet and barely say anything so I end up doing all of the conversational legwork and can’t relax into it. I guess for some people it may be shyness, but sometimes it just feels a bit rude, like I’m thinking of things to bring them out of their shell and offering bits about me hoping they’ll say stuff in return and I just think throw me a bone here please. So someone like that I doubt I’d want to be friends with.

I think quite often an opposite friend works better than a friend who is exactly the same as you. I'm quite lazy and one of my friends is all go, she packs as much activity and achievement into one day as I do into a week. She says I calm her down and give her time to 'smell the roses' and I find that she introduces me to things that I otherwise wouldn't try. We're not complete opposites, we have a similar sense of humour for instance, but enough different that we are benefit to each other.

I often wonder why anyone would want to be friends with me. I can be opinionated and loud - it takes all sorts!

Quite doesn't equal boring. I know a few loud bores like me.

I live in a loud house. Big men with heavy feet and loud voices. They're lovely, but it does get on my nerves at times.

I absolutely treasure my time with my 'quiet' friend. She's peaceful and being around her is like a drink of cool, fresh water.

I’d much rather a quiet thoughtful friend than a loud full on kind of friend, don’t put yourself down.

I used to be a 'loud' person, but it's not fun. People attribute all sorts of things to you and think you're super thick skinned and an take any harsh comment. I used to just be a bit unrestrained, uncouth? I'd laugh loud if something was funny and if I had free time I'd volunteer for anything thinking I was just being helpful. Tbh I can see I'd get carried away at times, I'd kinda presume people would also talk fast/ jump in a bit in conversation and miss turn taking cues. Some people I think I knew when I was younger did, but the mums I met did not. They'd quickly go quiet, look at me and make comments to others about me talking about myself. I'd be thinking I was keeping a conversation going, trying, trying questions or asking and they'd have just shut up and watch me flounder then sometimes even bitch.
I volunteered for a nursery committee, they had noone, I didn't overly want to but tried to be lively and make the most as I had free time and it seemed mean to leave with noone doing. I heard all sorts about me then.
I ran a facebook group as part of a meet up, I'd get REALLY personal messages pulling apart my personality. Stuff like I'd just miss someone new, genuinely not logging on, they'd message about how I didn't welcome people and really pull me apart. I cried over loads.
I'm not aiming for a 'woe is me', but what I am saying is loud doesn't always mean a sterotype of self-absorbed or nasty in someway. I was generally a happy person, I didn't always think through enough, I was though genuinely interested in others and loved hearing. I found though (and I think to some extent it was hitting an english middle class area for the first time) I just got it wrong and I hadn't really learnt the ways of what people expected. It's not that I think I was right, others were wrong. I'm just saying I was loud/ outgoing but not the person people think loud people are- I thought well of people, I was interested, I was just I dunno- childish?
I've resigned from the PTA, I don't go to baby groups anymore and I keep to myself. Tbh though I do love company and I miss it. I just feel a bit stupid nowadays. I guess I'm a quiet person now, but I haven't really hooked up with others either, I'm just someone who keeps in.

I don’t like loud people. I actively avoid spending time with them.

Opposites attract
Some lovely comments above. We can't all be the same - people will appreciate your calm stillness and tendency to listen more as they go through life and develop more baggage!
Don't change unless you want to - and don't make the mistake of jumping into alcohol to make yourself more 'interesting', as it doesn't work like that.

Because quiet people are uslay hiding a personality that comes out when they are around those who make them feel comfortable. That’s me, I can me a mouse in a room full of strangers but with my closest friends I can be lively

I'm loud and outgoing, I love my quiet friends. It's more fulfilling to have a deep, calm conversation, than a loud chaotic one where people end up talking over each other.

Shared outlook and interests are what determines if you're suited as friends not your volume level!

Quiet doesn’t equal having nothing to say.

I’d much rather have a thoughtful, intimate conversation with one or two other friends at once, than listen to some gobby show-off shouting innuendos.

I like quiet. I'm not quite so keen on loud - I find it tiring after a while.

Wow loud people are taking quite a bashing here. I like different types of people. “Loud” people can be wonderful, caring friends and good listeners too. “Quiet” people can be really thoughtful and interesting too.

Your friends probably like you because you’re likeable and give off a good vibe. It may have nothing to do with how quiet or loud you are.