To ask for your episiotomy/tear recovery stories?

[meetthewildes]

Eight days ago, the human equivalent of a British bulldog smashed her way out of my vagina. I had an episiotomy and then tore in a sort of star shape - think shredded labia, clitoral stitches, the lot. I lost a litre of blood and spent two hours in theatre repairing the damage, before going into some kind of weird shock that froze my jaw in place and necessitated heated blankets to bring me back round again.

Which brings me to today. I am still utterly broken. I can’t pee sitting down (can’t empty my bladder at all unless I stand) can’t walk far enough to leave the house, taking a bath is exhausting enough that it necessitates painkillers first and a sleep to recover after. I am bored and frustrated and my toddlers are turning feral. Apparently everything is healing nicely and I can tell that the swelling is reduced, but I am still utterly incapable of functioning at a normal level, even on paracetamol and ibuprofen. I can’t take codeine.

I’d love some insight as to how long it may take to feel ‘normal’ again. And I’ll gladly take sympathy and head-pats too.

Oh love, you poor thing. Ouch ouch ouch!

I had a long second degree tear, it did take a couple of months to fully heal. However I was a bit constipated. I was seriously bad during pregnancy and I'd kind of forgotten how a normal poo should be Once I got some lactulose and therefore no longer had to strain at all, I healed much quicker. So my advice would be lactulose, plenty of ripe pears (really helped!) and absolutely no pushing!

I peed standing in the shower with the water running, much less painful.

I hope you feel better soon - it's early days. But don't be shy about going back to the GP or midwives as often as you need to.

I had an episiotomy with DS1 but it was straight forward. DS2 was a different matter with a 3rd degree tear and lots of stitches. The weeks after that were horrendous, I also then got an infection from that which made me feel even worse. The upside is that it healed well and I had a good surgeon sew me back together so that I have had no on going issues after. In truth, I stopped feeling horrific after a few weeks but it probably was a good 6 months - 1 year before I felt myself again. A lot of that was to do with post natal depression which I think was actually PTSD after a 3 day hideous labour and then the aftermath. Be kind to yourself, it is easy for people to brush this stuff off as 'normal' but it can it you hard. If things aren't right when healed up, don't be afraid to go back and see someone about getting it sorted. Women put up with a lot that they shouldn't have to.

DD exited my body vagina with her arm/hand by the side of her face (her hand was in a fist!!!) Meaning I needed a fair few stitches!!

The best thing I found for helping the wound heal was Lavender oil - put a few drops on a sanitary towel and it will help

Oh you poor thing.

Mine was a straight episiotomy so no separate tearing but it healed nicely. I remember I could barely walk for the first week and at my 6 week check I said to the doctor it didn’t feel quite right - one of the stitches at the end had come out and that bit felt like it was pulling all the time - he told me to wait another 6-8 weeks and come back if it still didn’t feel right and I didn’t need to as by then it felt fully recovered.

Hope you soon start to feel more human.

I had an episiotomy, so nothing like as bad as your tear. It healed really quickly and wasn't painful much at all. I put this down to the daily salt baths I took.

Good luck with your recovery and your little bulldog!

I had an episiotomy with DD1, had salt water bidets(old fashioned but works) and after 4 days had disposable stitches removed as had healed. DD2 I tore and when got home gave myself salt water washes then dried with hairdryer, healed quickly again.

Years ago you would still be in hospital being properly looked after .with a birth like that you still should be ..you should not be lifting toddlers.i hope you have someone with you waiting on you grant and foot...do as little as possible ,and don't lift anything

Hand ..hand and foot

Oohhh poor you that sounds super painful.

My dd was my first, no one prepared me for the feeling or sight of my vagina after birth, I was mortified, I was in so much pain I had an episiotomy and also a small tear.

Took a good month or two for the pain of general life to wear off, I was like you and told it was healing nicely even though it looked and felt like a train wreck.

I didn't manage sex until 8 months after birth though, the internal tearing just wasn't healing quickly, I went for numerous trips to the doctor and was told there was no infection and it was still red/inflamed etc so it just needed more time to heal

I hope you're feeling back to normal soon op! X

Oh you poor love! I had a second degree one that healed pretty well, think daily baths with salt and calendula helped. It took about a month to be pooing happily again (but I think I ate too many biscuits) and about three months to be happy sitting down on a hard chair. Be kind to yourself and let people help you. Also don't sit down if you can, lie down or stand. Good luck and congratulations!!

And definitely don't be doing anything at all laying flat and resting was definitely the best help for me (along with pain relief)!

I had an episiotomy and tears with my dd, I put milk and lavender into my bath and bathed every morning and night if I could manage it, I had to wee in a half squat standing position holding onto the towel basket in front of me as if I weed sitting down it would hurt my tears, lavender on a sanitary towel as well, sending love to you, hurts like a fucker x

Congratulations on your little bull dog. I had a very similar thing. It is awful. It took about 3 weeks for the stitches to stop hurting. Take it easy in that time get other people to lift things for you if you can.

If you go out take a cushion with you so you have somewhere comfortable to sit down.

Make sure you get a referral to physio. That has really helped me.

Poor love. Bloody awful.

I had an episiotomy and it felt like I was sitting on cut glass for several weeks, incredibly sharp awful pain. Had a bit of infection then had to have some stitches cut open and the wound cauterised (consultant actually stitched up too much down there).

Things that helped are fybogel, tucks medicated pads (Amazon), lying on my side with my legs open wherever possible eg on the sofa or for feeding. It opened up several months later, ended up at the walk in clinic and I got an amazing wound dressing which really helped. I bought some, called aquacel Ag, the 2cm by 45cm strips can be cut down with sterilised scissors and tuck nicely over the wound to protect it and help it heal. Expensive but worth every penny.

I had an episiotomy with DS1 and at first it was really horrible, couldn’t stand to walk as all the swollen bits would rub. I also had a messed up pelvic floor - dribbles would come out before I could get to the loo or after I’d wiped and pulled my pants up.

I just had shallow salt baths for my stitches and did kegels and it’s all good now (pending potential destruction from DS3 between now and early Dec).

I couldn’t tell you how long it took, PND made the first year of DS1 into a bit of a blur time-wise. I do remember it took a while, and that it got quite a bit better after I thought I’d plateaued into a “new normal”.

Congratulations btw, hope your friends and family are being lovely and helpful.

Your poor thing op that sounds bloody awful.

I had a severe 3rd degree tear 2 years ago, just shy of a 4th apparently and honestly only started to feel more "normal" after 9/10 months, that's when I could have sex again anyway and run without horrendous pain/pissing myself.

I'm hoping yours won't be that long but it's important to be realistic.

I hope you've got some decent support at home. My DH was amazing but every other family member was bloody awful, expecting to be waited on had and foot when DH was back at work and I was sick of the "everyone tears" bollocks and no one taking it seriously. Mine hurt for ages if I stood up for too long.

Take care of yourself op x

I had a second degree tear but what you've described has made me cross my legs, you poor thing! Mine never stung but my god the bruising, it took 3 months before I could sit properly on the toilet.

I would try salt baths, maybe a few drops of tea tree oil in the bath water too. Also you could try arnica tablets or gel as that helps reduce swelling and bruising. Keep alternating paracetamol with ibuprofen for pain relief, and keep on them as it builds up in your system. Failing that I would see about something stronger on prescription.
I'm pretty sure you can get postnatal cooling gel pads that you put in your underwear but I'm not sure of the name.

Dds head only decended when they broke my waters and I went from 0 to fully immediately so I was black down there,she also had her hand by her ear so her elbow did the damage.
I took a soft cushion to sit on in the car .I felt as if everything would fall out after 10 mins walking.At 12 weeks I still had an unhealed bit 2"up in my vagina but it did all sort it's self out.
As for peeing I drank lots so that wee was diluted and to avoid constipation,peed in the shower and practiced stopping and starting to strengthen the muscles and help avoid most accidents.
It gets easier and feels better than it looks.

I had a Fenton's procedure a year later because, contrary to what they kept telling me, it clearly wasn't "healing nicely ".

I tore really badly with DS1 and was sitting on a rubber ring for weeks after. It felt as though they had stitched a brick inside me when sewing me back together - so heavy feeling down there! Didn't dare attempt to poo as was convinced my whole undercarriage would be blown apart! Can't remember how long it took to feel ok - I think about 4 weeks later I could get rid of the ring - but probably a good two months or so before feeling reasonably normal. You have my sympathy … congrats on your baby x

I had a fourth degree tear that went everywhere. Pee in the shower and then rinse it out. Its the only way for a while. It will get better gradually though. Its only been 8 days. It took about two weeks for the swelling to go and the stitches to dissolve. After that I started to feel better. At three months I couldn't hold anything in for long at all but I did make it to a loo fine most of the time. It did take about 9 months until I felt normal again and I've been left with scar tissue and nerve damage which hopefully you haven't and will heal sooner. Tena lady is now an unfortunate necessity.

Very strong vitamin C tablets help healing - the 1000mg ones you can dissolve in water. Speeds up recovery. Good luck!

IJust, I am so sorry to hear that. Fourth degree tears are horrendous, you poor poor thing

OP it is early days, look after yourself and accept as much help from others as you possibly can - it is a normal reaction to try and do everything for yourself but you will absolutely need help. Try lavendar and tea tree oil in the bath. Are you absolutely sure that you are emptying your bladder properly? Why can you only pee standing, is it due to pain? This is a bit concerning to me and I hope you have mentioned it to your midwife.

Take care

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I had a similar issue delivering my son back to back, forceps in theatre, episiotomy etc, the works. It was torture, and very difficult for at least two weeks after having him. One thing I think it's important to look out for is things getting worse, not better. So, with my wound, I was distinctly aware that it got worse over time, and my movement got worse until I felt reluctant to move at all. It was infected in the end and after taking only a day's worth of antibiotics for it, I was pain free. The midwives who helped me out were very clear, it shouldn't hurt in a worsening way, and it shouldn't feel hot to the touch. They were horrified when I told them that I had been having salt baths. They said no, stick to showers and 'wash the badness away'. So immediately after that, I stuck to showers for another couple of weeks, and I was basically pain free. It did make me think 'jeez I may as well have had a c-section'. Anyway solidarity to you. and congrats on your new baby!

I had a third degree tear when having DD1. Midwife who delivered her tried to stitch it, couldn't. Head midwife then had a go. Couldn't. Got a doctor in the room. He also couldn't. So I had to go to the operating theatre for a couple of hours for it to be sorted. Was fuc%ing agony for ages afterwards. Months later still felt weird down there. But gradually just got better and better. Then ended up tearing again with DD2 (although not as badly). This time they stitched me up and within weeks felt completely normal. I decided that DD2 broke my fanny again just to fix the carnage that DD2 caused