To ask for your episiotomy/tear recovery stories?

[meetthewildes]

Eight days ago, the human equivalent of a British bulldog smashed her way out of my vagina. I had an episiotomy and then tore in a sort of star shape - think shredded labia, clitoral stitches, the lot. I lost a litre of blood and spent two hours in theatre repairing the damage, before going into some kind of weird shock that froze my jaw in place and necessitated heated blankets to bring me back round again.

Which brings me to today. I am still utterly broken. I can’t pee sitting down (can’t empty my bladder at all unless I stand) can’t walk far enough to leave the house, taking a bath is exhausting enough that it necessitates painkillers first and a sleep to recover after. I am bored and frustrated and my toddlers are turning feral. Apparently everything is healing nicely and I can tell that the swelling is reduced, but I am still utterly incapable of functioning at a normal level, even on paracetamol and ibuprofen. I can’t take codeine.

I’d love some insight as to how long it may take to feel ‘normal’ again. And I’ll gladly take sympathy and head-pats too.

Mine was a straightforward episiotomy plus lots of swelling from ventouse - it's now 18 days later and I'm no longer feeling any pain from it. Things were definitely much better by about day 10.

The midwives fave me a mix of lavender, cypress and frankincense oils very dilute in cold water, told me to soak a maternity towel in it and then put it over my bits and relax gut helped me more than the painkillers. I also improvised a valley cushion from one if this inflatable travel neck pillow things which allowed me to sit a bit more comfortably as there was no pressure on the most painful parts.

Huge hugs, hang in there - really hope you start feeling more human soon.

Ouch OP

I second lavender milk baths. I also started doing pelvic grip exercsies because it increases blood blow which is good for healing. And I added lavender to my pads. All recommend by my midwife and I believe it helped...

It's so shit isn't it, but it will get better

And congratulations

Had a 3rd degree tear and surgery. Tbh I was ok after. Sounds like you’re suffering more than I did but some things I would do is hold a sanitary pad tight to me when I went to the toilet, just felt like I needed some ‘support’ down there. Arnica tablets and lavender oil in the bath for healing. I hope you feel better, sounds hard x

I had to have an episiotomy/stitches with all of my vaginal births and like a PP my DD also came out with her fist up by her face meaning I ended up with a 3rd degree tear - the midwife suggested I pour witch hazel on my maternity pad to soothe the area.
It really was soothing and I felt it helped me to heal more quickly than I did when I didn't know/use it following the birth of my oldest.

You poor thing, I remember the pain well. I had an extended episiotomy with DC1 due to shoulder dystocia/emergency forceps delivery so the stitches were all the way up my buttock. I didn’t go for a number two for three weeks , I just didn’t have the courage and by the time I did go (with the help from laxatives) it was like razor blades, sliced me open all over again and I was in tears.
I could barely sit down for about a month post partum I’d say, my DM got me a rubber ring to sit on . I did have codeine because this was before they stopped giving it to BFing mums but even that only slightly took the edge off. The worst part was the stitches burst open a week or so in and got badly infected which was agonising, I couldn’t sleep for the pain. I’d say the pain was comparable to the pain I had after my ELCS except the ELCS pain subsided much quicker!

Salt and lavender baths helped to soothe it somewhat and I loved the Kotex night time pads, they were like a cushion.

Oh, bless you. I'm 18 weeks post 2nd degree tear plus episiotomy. I had a mediolateral episiotomy for the forceps so my perineum stayed in tact. I also popped a few stitches and got a lovely heamatoma which has only just healed.
Episiotomy wise, it felt okay-ish after a month. I found using water wipes after peeing really helped to keep clean and laying on a disposable changing mat spread eagle helped it all dry out and heal. Not exactly my most glamorous moment look

Poor you, here, have some

I had a vaginal birth with an 11lb baby who as well as a big head, also had wide shoulders (ouch). He got a bit distressed so they gave me a episiotomy as they felt that a tear would be a bit of disaster under the circumstances.

It took ages to stitch up and I had a foof like a hovercraft cushion but I made a full recovery and my doctor assured me that they'd done an amazing job of the stitching .

Anyway DS is now grown up and 6ft 3in tall and an only child....

Oh bless you OP. I was the same with a 3rd degree tear this time last year. Those first few weeks were awful, I had no control down there I was wetting the bed at night and couldn’t sit down properly for ages. Then to top it all off I got a bowel impaction. It was genuinely such a rubbish time but all I can say is by around maybe 4 months I felt completely back to normal. Agree with pp with the witch hazel on pad and run the cold shower head over the stitches when they are feeling particularly sore or itchy. Wishing you a speedy recovery!

you poor poor love. I remember that I didn't have any pain relief giving birth but asked the midwife if I could have that epidural now during my 10 day check.
Can you ask for some different pain relief. I got by on codeine which I know causes constipation but there might be a different alternative

I found that arnica helped. A cold gel pack applied very gently was so soothing I cried with the relief. Sincerely hope you feel better soon.

That sounds awful, OP. It's such a shitty thing to go through especially when you just want to enjoy that 'newborn bliss' some women seem to experience. It's not easy to look after a baby with all this going on I bet!

The only tear I could feel was a labial tear and the midwife told me it's the most painful place for a tear due to all of the nerve endings. As it wasn't bleeding in the delivery room they didn't stitch it however it was almost 2 inches wide by 3.5 inches long (meaning I had very wonky flaps). A few days in I was crying to DH that I was never going to recover and was going to have a wonky fadge forever!

The first 2 weeks were absolute hell. I had to pee in a full bath to try and dilute my urine yet I would still be crying in agony every wee despite being dosed up on Paracetamol & Diclofenac (a stronger alternative to ibuprofen I believe?). The midwife kept assuring me I was healing well but I was convinced she was deluded!

After about 10 days I was able to wee in the shower with water running but I was weeing in the shower for almost 3 weeks (every half an hour - bladder problems really did me in there!), along with walking like a penguin and not being able to sit down properly. My little 'routine' was to get in the shower, fully rinse down there after weeing, gently dry myself with a clean flannel each time (I had a basket of 20+) and then get dressed. I wore the mesh knickers from the hospital with a maternity pad just for the cushioning and DH's boxers over the top.

Whenever I went for a number 2 I would wet a flannel with cold water, fold it up and hold it on my vagina & I didn't push at all, I just waited until I was ready to go as I didn't want to strain.

I had so much pressure from friends to leave the house and go do things but I just couldn't bear the pain of walking down my drive, or the thought of being away from the shower in case of a wee! Obviously, none of my friends had experienced childbirth or an obliterated foof.

I remember feeling like life would never move on & the pain would never get better so I really feel for you in a worse situation that I was in! I would say I was completely back to normal by about 6 weeks but was managing to wee normally(ish) & get out every so often by about 4 weeks. I'm also relieved to say that when it healed I was not left with a wonky hoo-ha somehow, and all looks and feels normal down there.

My advice: bother your midwife/maternity unit/GP for diclofenac (when I ran out & used ibuprofen instead I noticed a huge difference. Safe for bf too); get some Spritz for Bits & a portable bidet bottle if you think that would work for you; don't let anyone make you feel pressured; request and accept as much help as possible!

It sounds like delivery was a little traumatic for you so if you need to then please don't feel any shame in asking your midwife or GP for help, even if it's months down the line. I hope you recover well as soon as possible

You poor thing!

Kotex night pads, just keep them in the fridge along with a bowl of milk and lavender oil dropped in. Add ice cubes if you have the energy. Soak the pad, squeeze out, put in pants.

Eye mask, the type that goes in the freezer, wrap in a flannel or muslin, in pants at night. Careful not too cold!

Feel better!!!!

Get some better pain relief if you need it. I hate codeine but co-dydramol suited me fine and didn't leave me too spaced.

1st baby was traumatic delivery, failed ventouse, episiotomy, forceps and PPH. My stitches popped and I got an infection. Once the infection was cleared with ABs I took weeks to feel OK, and took diclofenac as well as standard painkillers.

In delivery of (nearly 10lb) 2nd baby I could tell that the midwives were shocked at how I had been left from the first delivery. I had a 3rd degree tear 2nd time, but it healed quickly and well, and had no ongoing problems, despite a clitoral tear, and tearing through from one passage to another. I think tears heal better then episiotomies. They were very careful stitching me the second time and fixed some problems left from baby no 1.

Big hugs, I had a 3rd degree tear which resulted in me being incontinent - poo & wee. Dreadful time. Luckily now I’m ok, took a long time though & had to have a planned c-section with my next birth as the risk was too great.
My tips: take good laxatives, pee in the shower, warm baths, sit on a cushion.

Episiotomy and third degree tear, it was repaired in theatre and it felt like there were stitches everywhere, inside and out. I was given absolutely no care advice by any member of staff and was in hospital for other reasons for a couple weeks. It did heal remarkably well, but I didn't really feel that until after about three or four weeks.

Oh mate. That sounds fucking shit. I'm sorry.

I had a 3rd degree tear thanks to the 9lb bowling ball that shot his way out of me. So not as bad as you but no picnic. A hippyish pal told me to soak some of the jumbo pads in camomile tea, shake of excess and freeze in a bowlm(so they're the right shape). Holding one of them on my foof was pure heaven. Those hippies know what's up every now and again

My last garden is pretty much back to normal now, though a little more tender and I have a battle wound scar but luckily it's not me who had to see it!

Congrats.

Oh OP you have my sympathy

My tear started to heal OK but then became very painful about 3-4 days pp. Luckily I had a very good community midwife who got me a GP appointment. 3 courses of antibiotics, and daily baths with tea tree oil later I was referred back to the hospital who eventually cauterised the wound with silver nitrate. The relief was almost instant - as in within an hour or 2. There was yucky grey discharge for a day or so, but I was forewarned and believe me when I say that was a tiny price to pay.

My advice is, if you're in pain, keep on at the midwife and GP. These early days are enough of a struggle without dealing with constant pain too.

Hope you recover soon x

I initially read your OP as eight years ago and was astounded! But eight days ago is ok. It's still very very early in the healing process.

I had a third degree tear which caused me problems for weeks afterwards, vividly remember sitting on a rubber ring with every visitor we had round. I don't think I pooed in about a month.

It healed fine though, but it does take a while. I put a few drops of tea tree oil in the bath and I do think that helped a bit.

I still can't run or walk quickly without weeing myself though. Sort of got used to it. Think my jogging days were over anyway.

Can they give you iboprofen suppositories?

I tore horrendously with one and an episiotomy for the other, I healed brilliantly both times. I swear by a bath with a few drops of lavender/tea tree and peppermint oils.

You poor old thing, hope you're feeling better soon.

I've had perineal and anal tears before, the anal one ending in a persistent haematoma. Anything you can do that makes going for a poo easier will help you - my favourite is apricots for relief down there.

If you're alone at home, walking around/lying down without your knickers on, with a dress or nightie if you need to, can help keep everything a bit dryer and less sore between your legs.

I tore with both of dc, it’s hell. A midwife the first time round have me a tip, instead of getting in the shower to have a wee, fill a plastic jug with lukewarm water and start pouring it down over and in between your Vagina when you sit on the toilet and eventually you’ll start to wee, water dilutes it and completely takes the sting away. This tip saved me as I became fearful of seeing and would hold it for so long.

I am someone who has signed into mumsnet probably twice in 15 years solely to say one word to women in your position, because I was in it once, too (though not as bad by the sound of it as poor old you [flower symbol thing]): BADEDAS! Sounds as if you need to get a bit further down the line recovery-wise (and you will, I'm sure) but once you do, good, old fashioned, circa 1974, jade-green Badedas in the bath is fab. Had first child in Netherlands, also had an episi however-you-spell it, and thought I'd never sit down (let alone shag) comfortably again. Anyhow, Dutch midwives swear by the stuff (readily available in Boots) and put me on to it - something to do with the horse chestnut in it - just use it as you would in any bubble bath - we only had a shower though, so I put a washing up bowl in the top of the loo for a sort of make-shift bidet...Was a total gamechanger for me and if it is for you, too, that would be brilliant. Obvs ignore all of this from me if you're in the sort of situation 1stimeunicorn is talking about, but if and when you are at stage of bathing and using products, the green stuff is the way to go! It did take time to feel back to my old self (I can remember health visitor talking about sex after six weeks and me nearly laughing her out of the room - six months, more like) but I did get there and I'm sure you will too. Hope you feel a lot better soon and are getting plenty of support and TLC - and congrats on the safe arrival of your newcomer! X

Get a few £1 swim rings from asda/tesco or argos. Life savers for sitting on the couch or a chair.

I had several bad 'grazes' and a very very long grade 2. Took about 4 weeks to stop being niggly. And another 4 for the 'disolveable' stitches to disolve. 6m out I felt fine. A year out everything felt 'normal' again. 17m out I'm considering doing it all again even though my foof is now the tightest it's ever been 😬