AIBU to buy nice clothes only for myself

[SlinkyAndSilky]

Me, dd13 & DH.
I’ve just bought myself silk thermals and paid £100 for a set. I bought myself x2 pairs of cashmere socks. We are not rich. DH has x100 pairs of Asda socks. DD grows out of things every three months or loses them at school so I buy them basic things.

I have very few items, of good quality. Dd &Dh have masses of shitty things. Even given the explanation above, is this mean?

I think it is a bit mean but I sort of understand your view. It seems unfair that only one person enjoys good quality items.

Maybe if you bought them nice things they wouldn’t have hundreds of shitty things...

Why on earth would you need cashmere socks? It seems like something someone would only buy if they had money to burn.

But I don't necessarily think YABU given the circumstances. No point buying expensive things for a 13 year old they'll soon grow out of, and men don't seem to care about clothes the way women do.

If your DH wants cashmere socks and you say no on the grounds of cost, then that is unreasonable. If he has no interest in such things, YANBU.

No growing child needs luxury fabrics like silk and cashmere. That would just be silly.

When DCs are growing, fair enough, but doesn't your DH want a smaller amount of better quality stuff too? I buy DD M&S socks and pants because they feel nicer to wear than the cheaper ones.

And does he really have 100 pairs of socks??!

I think it's mean if only one person in the family has luxury items and everyone else has basics. It's like one person in the family having a lovely car and everyone else riding broken tricycles to work/school.

Silk thermals? Cashmere socks? And your DH gets George?

Who is buying all these socks. Its unreasonable to have 100 pairs of socks.

I was just exaggerating about 100 pairs of socks.

When we moved in together I replaced the Tesco own brand sheets with my million threadcount ones. He says he had not noticed. He doesn’t care about those sorts of things.

The cashmere socks are wonderful. I have one pair on and the other drying ready to wear.

Not mean IF it’s affordable and not impacting on the family budget, my DP is perfectly happy buying supermarket/primark etc socks/boxers/T-shirt’s whereas I prefer to buy my underwear in m & s and tend to buy more expensive T-shirt’s and sportswear tops.

Op doesn't say if she's spending her own money or shared finances. Men can buy their own things too if they want! No point in good stuff for a 13 yr old. But- good quality things last longer and look better for longer than the false economy of the cheaper stuff.

£100 on silk underwear??!! hope they keep you really warm!!!

Could it be that the budgets actually work out the same. Or you could even end up spending less on yourself.
If you are buying stuff for yourself infrequently and it's expensive and good quality then that may be the same as loads of cheaper stuff being bought frequently... for whatever reason.
If everyone is happy and no body's choices are impacting on others fill your boots

How come you feel the need to come to AIBU though? Has DH said something about the amount you spent?

Kind of agree. However with DC I've found good quality items have a good reselling price, so I do splurge with DS and he always has a lot of compliments. My DF will splurge on staple pieces but certain things would never (like every day socks) but then has few decent ones for occasions and weekends. But I'm like you, I prefer quality over quantity and quality does last.

It’s shared finances. When his socks start getting a bit bobbly he just chucks s pair in the shopping trolley which is how they build up.

I’m on aibu as I’m not sure if it’s mean or not.

Rather than go to M&S once every couple of months on x 2 trips costing me £50 I will make one £100 purchase. I think I spend pretty much the same as when I bought poor quality and have far fewer clothes but it still seems a bit horrible even though it is logical.

I can never be faffed about the bother of reselling dc’s things. It’s either give to friends or charity shop.

Me too Slinky and it's very good stuff, basics are from Next/Marks and River Island and I buy Oilily/Rosalita for special occasions. Dd is nearly 8 and I know enough people who are in need, same with her shoes.

I don't buy my kids crappy stuff, I tend to spend more on them than me!

I think everybody should buy quality clothes. That doesn’t mean cashmere and silk though, but things that last. Lambswool blend would have been a wiser investment than cashmere for socks; can be cheaper, last longer than 100% wool. Silk thermals - why do you need them in the UK where temperatures don’t fall low enough to need silk in your thermals. I think you are definitely wasting money— the choice isn’t just between throwaway budget junk and ridiculously expensive. There’s a lot of middle ground!

That’s what DH does but I don’t mind to be honest as to his expensive t shirt I will have 3 to the same value and I prefer that as I change my mind far more and I also wear more clothes as he has a work uniform.
As long as you can afford it and he’s happy with it then it’s fine.

I’ve just bought myself silk thermals and paid £100 for a set. I bought myself x2 pairs of cashmere socks. We are not rich.
Rich enough!

As long as you can afford it it doesn't matter, I'm sure your DH would say if he wanted anything different . My DH like M&S socks and pants so I just get them for him on 20% off offers or the sales. I just buy the ones I want for myself.

YANBU at all. Always buy the best you can afford.

Er... where do you get your silk thermals from? Asking for a friend

I love thermals, I wear them and keep the heating down, also means I can wear them as a thin layer under nice tops etc rather than bulking up with jumpers and scarves.

I think as long as you’re both happy that’s fine. My dh does this. We both have the same spending money but he will save up and buy one pair of boots for £200 whilst I’m happy to have a few pairs of shoes at £20-40 each as I like to have different styles etc. It doesn’t bother me at all. I think as long as you have the same spending money to spend as you wish it’s up to you what you spend it on.