Children giving up their seats..

[whatsthepointthen]

I was on the bus this morning and my 2 children were sat in the seats, this is a small bus and gets very busy. After a few stops an older woman got on and kept loudly bitching that my kids didnt give up their seats and shaking her head.

for context my son fell on this exact bus flat on his back and banged his head on the floor a few months back as he was standing up (and holding on) but the bus whizzed round a corner so now i try to make sure they always get a seat.

Should children always give up their seats for an older person? wibu for not making them?

@Rudgie47

So what should happen if that old lady had got a seat because OP had made the children share a seat and then another elderly person got on the bus who shpuld give up their seat?
The young adults shpuld be the ones giving up their seats to the elderly not the young children who's balance wpuld be the best.

Wouldn't be the best

I'm 19 and have epilepsy (healthy weight and other health) but I can't give up a seat on a bus as I struggle with dizziness due to my epilepsy so wouldn't be able to stand up and not be vulnerable to falling. My specialist doctor even recommended I always ask for a seat if there isn't one.

I've had so many older people glare at me when I've sat on a bus and not given up a seat. :( not all disabilities are visible!

I also had a friend who had a chronic stomach condition (can't eat a lot of foods w/out having a horrid and painful reaction) and got yelled at by an elderly couple when she'd been in the disabled toilet at M&S for 10mins! She needed to the private space due to her condition. Again, not all disabilities are visible.

I think these days a lot of older adults are just not tolerant of young children and their needs, as well as young adults having health conditions that require special measures too.

Tbh OP I think you were right, especially since she was offered a seat and wouldn't take it! 🤦🏻‍♀️

My teens get a public bus to school which is used 99% by kids from various schools and they and all the other teens always give up seats for the 6-9 year olds. Kids who have to stand are at risk of being sent flying, and potentially having someone larger land on them.

adoggymama

Actually your friend didn't need to use the disabled toilet for this, yes I can imagine they wanted privacy due to their condition (which my brother also suffers from) but the difference is, some people can't physically use a non disabled toilet. Adults and children in wheel chairs cannot fit into a regular cubical so your friend could have been stopping someone who physically couldn't get into a toilet from being able to go. I sympathise because I know how crippling that condition is but I think they wbu.

Whatsthepointthen - if a child gives up his/her seat to an older person on the bus its called good manners. With respect if your child had been hanging onto the rail tightly he would not have fallen over and hurt himself. This does not excuse the rudeness of the older woman and her unkind remarks.

thats awful adoggymama i can imagine that happening aswell, i can understand being annoyed about not getting a seat but there is no need to be vocal about it and single people out, ive been on the bus when pregnant or baby in a sling and not been offered a seat, i wouldnt dream of saying anything to anyone though. i never expected a seat though its nice if someone offered but i never thought i had a right to someone elses seat!

lovesugarfreejelly63 ive almost fallen on a packed bus as have many other adults! he was holding the best he could on an extremely packed bus being squashed by other standing adults. its not easy for little hands to reach the bars maybe bare that in mind.

have hidden disabilities, I don’t get in a bus and get shitty because nobody has read my mind and flung their 4 year old to the floor so I can sit in their place.

Well good for you. Asking a child to move is hardly flinging them to the floor is it. And whilst you may be able to tolerate standing with your hidden disability, others, with their hidden disabilities may not be able to.

@Drogosnextwife I get what you're saying about the wheelchair space, but this particular couple didn't even have a chair. Simply just wanted the bigger bathroom.

My friend can sometimes end up on her knees being ill and often needs the sink close to clean up afterwards hence using the disabled toilet when it's free.

PS, love your username!😁

With respect if your child had been hanging onto the rail tightly he would not have fallen over and hurt himself

Seriously ? Do you not remember being on small child standing on a packed bus as a child. At 4 or 6 you are tiny in comparison to adults who are also holding onto the bar and it's so easy to get pushed out and then fall.

With respect if your child had been hanging onto the rail tightly he would not have fallen over and hurt himself

Children have heads that are proportionally larger than adults. Their senses of balance are usually less fine tuned. In a car then are required to use extra protections above and beyond those used by adults. But in a bus they should stand in the aisle where their only protection is a handrail their fingers can't fit fully around and they don't have the upper body strength to hold themselves up against the momentum caused by sudden deceleration. RRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!

Pure Victorian bollocks. When a bus is standing room only vulnerable passengers should be offered seats. Children are vulnerable on a moving vehicle. They may not get tired as quickly as an adult but in the event of an accident or even sudden deceleration or swerve they are absolutely among the most vulnerable of passengers. We'll all get our knickers in a twist about not using appropriate restraints in a car but expect children to take a more dangerous position on a bus because of some overhang from previous generations about children needing to show respect.

And yes, I know the dangers on a bus and in a car are very different. But there are still dangers on a bus and children should not be expected to take a position that puts them at risk in the way it doesn't an able bodied adult.

Asking a child to move is hardly flinging them to the floor is it

But the old lady didn't ask the child to move. She just started making rude comments, shaking her head and discussing it with another passenger. Her attitude was the problem.

And someone did offer her a seat. If she needed it so badly she would have accepted, but she didn't. Clearly she had a problem with children taking up a seat !

Well I have never travelled on a bus so perhaps my opinion is invalid. If my child had previously been injured I'd have left them in the seat, however if the rude lady had politely asked you for one of your childrens' seats and explained that she had difficulties standing, I'd have probably given her it. Rudeness gets people nowhere with me.

@adoggymama

Ah I see. I know its a dreadful condition.

Thanks, it will happen one day!

Well said trancepants!

@trancepants

Exactly, I don't see any children being allowed to stand on school busses, infact the drivers insist they sit down and I'm sure they are fitted with seat belts now, yet on public transport they have all to stand to save any adult no matter how old the inconvenience of standing because after all children don't pay

Children that are 4 and 6 should be sitting. If the ladies were elderly then someone else should offer their seat. I wouldn't expect a child to give up a seat for me! A teenager perhaps.

Drogosnextwife

That's a good point. In the health and safety crazy world we live in, it's surprising that anyone is still allowed to stand on a moving bus. When my children use minibuses and coaches for school trips they not only have to be seated but they have to wear a seat belt. Yet on a bus they can just stand whilst being flung around.

If the ladies were elderly then someone else should offer their seat.

Someone else did, but the old lady didn't want that seat, she only seemed to have an interest in sitting in the the seat the children were in !

trancepants brilliantly explained.

That's actually engaging brain and risk assessing, then behaving appropriately, rather than saying when I was a child I was made to do xyz therefore children today should do xyz, without actually thinking through why xyz might have been a bloody stupud thing to make a small child do...

tbh the bus gets so packed it literally is very difficult to stand and hold on as your practically crammed into a tiny space and the same bar a 6 or 4 year old is holding is the same bar 5/6 other adults are holding. its so packed people have to get off the bus to let me off with the pram then get back on. its very hard to hold on tightly when your surrounded by adults.

OP there is no need for you to explain why you didn't want your children to be standing on a moving vehicle, they shouldn't be expected to stand on the bus no matter what, anyone who disagrees is wrong. There is no less risk for a child standing on a bus than an adult, infact it is more likely that a child will fall because their balance isn't great and when they fall and smash their head off something on the way down I wonder if the person who took their seat would feel guilty!

I'm not sure why you stated this thread as you only seem to went people to agree with you