Children giving up their seats..

[whatsthepointthen]

I was on the bus this morning and my 2 children were sat in the seats, this is a small bus and gets very busy. After a few stops an older woman got on and kept loudly bitching that my kids didnt give up their seats and shaking her head.

for context my son fell on this exact bus flat on his back and banged his head on the floor a few months back as he was standing up (and holding on) but the bus whizzed round a corner so now i try to make sure they always get a seat.

Should children always give up their seats for an older person? wibu for not making them?

41 years of using* public transport.

At 4&6 I’d want them to sit down as I’d be worry they might fall or hurt themselves when the bus stopped. If the lady was very elderly (80’s) I might have asked the kids to let her sit but not for someone in their 60’s!

lifehasgonecrazy - why don’t you understand that, being respectively old and fat, they are ENTITLED to completely disregard the safety of your tiny, vulnerable babies. manners!!!
seriously though, I am so sorry that happened, it must have been horrible for you all. It seems like you handled it with dignity so it says a lot about their weak characters.

LifeHasGoneCrazy

That old woman was a bitch. There's no excusing that behaviour. I'm a very polite person but in a situation like that I would have wiped the floor with her. Sorry you had to deal with that but remember that the problem lies with them, not you.

Lifehasgonecrazy
The lady was a bitch but why the f* did the man or some other bugger not stand up.

I've actually concluded that some of these people are bullies, plain and simple, bullies who pick on people smaller than themselves using age or what ever to justify their position.

Another thing to remember is back in the day buses were different, stairs to get on, no buggy / wheelchair space just rows and rows of seats. So effectively there were more seats less standing space.
Some old people might not think of the logistics of little people trying to hold on as their LOs never had to do it.

When I was a child I was taught that gentlemen gave up their seat for women and the elderly or disabled and that children gave up their seats for their elders. Mum always had hold of us and she would have my sister on her lap with me between her legs standing. It was considered just good manners, but as it seems that things like common curtesy and good manners have died a death I think you get what you give in life. You were standing with a pram while you’re children were sat safely so you had already given up your seat, these days though it can be a case of damned if you do and damn if you don’t, you get bitched at because you couldn’t let them stand, another time you might offer someone a seat and they let rip about you assuming that they’re old/ infirm/incapable. Some days you just can’t win.

Have not read the full thread but th eelderly lady was BU to not ask you or your kids directly to give up their seat. She should have just said "Hi, I'm disabled/Less mobile/infirm etc please may I have your seat. "

But Hellesbelle the onus is on the disabled or elderly person to ask for a seat. I am 36 and registered as disabled and I use a cane. I hate asking for seats but I have come to accept that either I ask or I wait for the next bus because only occasionally do people offer them. Also sometimes the seat may be occupied by someone in need.

My only query is why it was specifically your DC who had to give up seats. Presumably there would have been suitable age grown ups or maybe teens who should have taken the hint instead?

Tantrum - simple a mum with 3 young children is unlikely to fight back, so easy target for a bully.
Or she was trying to make an irrelevant point hence she refused a seat that was offered.

your DCs should’ve stayed seated.

They could have bunched up and offered her one of the seats they occupied. That way everyone wins. Kids stay seated and a seat is offered to someone who might need it. Not because kids are 'lesser', just because it is good manners. Maybe others on the bus didn't give up their seat and could of but that does not mean you have to stoop to their level of inconsideration.

I'm always surprised this is a contentious issue. If the kids can share a seat or sit on a lap they should do so to make space for another person. In terms of actually standing in makes much more sense for an able bodied adult to get up and stand than a kid who is more likely to get thrown around.

Op You said someone offered their seat up for her to sit in and she refused so she couldn't have needed it that badly. Stop beating yourself up, she could have sat if she'd really wanted to.

I hate busses, especially as a mother with children as you’re always treated with contempt. You get moaned at if you have a buggy, moaned at if you’re standing up, sitting down, Kids are talking/crying. When you have just as much need, and right, to be make a journey.

I can remember a specific incident when I had a 3 week old and an almost 2 year old. I lived rurally and needed to get to city for a hospital appointment. No train station, an Hours bus ride, taxi, although easier would cost £40+. Id folded the double pram as no room for it. Had dd sat next to me and was breastfeeding ds who was in a cluster feeding stage. Rural bus gets packed as only 1 every 2 hours. Got ‘told off’ by an older lady as she wanted the specific seat Dd was sitting in, even though there were other people who could have given their seat or she could have gone upstairs. Someone gave her the seat at the back of the bus but she loudly talked about me for the whole journey. Made me feel like I was somehow in the wrong when all I was doing was making sure I and my kids were safe.

I'm a bit younger than Lapun, but still well over bus pass age. I stand to let older, frailer or visibly pregnant passengers sit on short journeys. On longer journeys I need to sit. I rarely travel at busy times, and am always pleasantly surprised when a younger person offers a seat. It's how I brought up my DC.

I'm quite dismayed by the 'bury their head' brigade who ignore obvious need. Entitlement has never been so popular! With young children, it depends on the circumstances. One adult who is sitting can take a young child on their lap, but the OP had to stand. No reason most of the time why two small ones can't share.

Well this is now on the Daily Mail

Super just what the Op needed or wanted!!!
Why can their journalists not do their own research.

@whatsthepointthen

It's not unreasonable at all, if you are travelling with your children and they out number you, it is much safer and easier for them to all sit together and we stand close by them. I would ignore the lady as there is more then just two seats on the bus.

I have just asked to move grown men out of the seats that I have paid and booked for on the train for my twin 8 year old to sit down in a busy train.

I was expected to give up my seat for any standing adult as a child. Now I’m middle aged I reckon it’s my turn to sit down.

So there.

I always told my daughters to give up their seats. And now in their 20's still give up their seats when necessary. I am so proud of them!
4 and 6 are not babies and should be capable of holding on by themselves. Just teach them. The lady was right to moan.

User big difference between 20 somethings and a 4 & 6 yo.

Given lots of grab rails are at adult height how do you propose the 4 & 6 yo reach them??
Op can teach them to give up seats when they are 10+, and into their teens when they have the height and strength to hold on. Until then they are much safer sitting down.

Why does a 60 somethings comfort take precedence over a childs safety??? If they woman desperately needs a seat she would have taken one that was offered.

sabine sound like a child not a grown woman. Did you actually say "so there" I'm cringing for you..
I think anyone should give up a seat for an elderly, disabled or pregnant person and with hidden disabilities if asked a seat should be given.
My children are just as "entitled" to a seat as anyone else. It has nothing to do with manners.

How long before this all becomes a thing of the past and standing on buses is made illegal?
And all passengers seated with seatbelts?

My guess is long before those kids hit 40.

4 and 6 are not babies and should be capable of holding on by themselves. Just teach them. The lady was right to moan.

4 and 6 year olds are tiny ffs. If the bus stopped quickly then they would be a lot more likely to get hurt than an adult. Many adults give up their seat for very young children I would I hate to see them standing.

It's pretty simple on a crowded bus the purple who need the seats most should get them. I always give up my own seat but my tiny 6yo standing because someone older feels entitled to their seat? No. My 9yo standing because someone needs it more than them? Yes.

Interestingly elsewhere on MN 6yo should still be backward facing in car seats but some claim they can stand on a bus. Absolutely ridiculous.

4 and 6 are not babies and should be capable of holding on by themselves. Just teach them. The lady was right to moan.

Right to moan? Hmmm, that's never right, it's very rude. You can ask for a seat, and actually in this case the lady was offered a seat and wouldn't take it. So in every way, she was out of order.