To think my dd took ecstasy?

[Elizab3thh]

Basically, my (just) 16 year old dd went to a concert on Saturday night and stayed over at her friends after which was all fine. However, she came back on Sunday with swollen, chafed lips- she said that she got knocked in the face at the concert but something felt wrong about it. Today, I’ve been thinking about my experiences as a teenager and remembered how ecstasy would make your jaw ‘gurn’ and cause you to bite your lips. Now the only logical explanation I can see for dd’s lips is this but don’t know how to broach the subject as I have no proof whatsoever. Am i jumping to conclusions? How do I ask her without seeming as if I am jumping to conclusions?

I bet a drug habit is cheaper than owning a horse as well as safer..

@araiwa you're defo on
drugs

Another +1 for having taken e and mdma and no chapped lips but chewed inside cheeks

I'd be thinking a snogging session. I took rather a lot of E in my youth - but the inside of mouth but never had chafed lips. That usually came from snogging someone with stubble.

Accordinglyto all the knowledgable ex drug users on this thread I’m sorry but if she’s already tried it and enjoyed it she’ll probably just keep doing it now .
After all it’s just drugs and .... horse and alcohol are just as bad .

I once woke up from taking MDMA looking like I'd been punched in the face from chewing my lips so much. Aren't drugs wonderful?

Lips weren't chapped however. It's a rather big leap to make, could it just be the cold weather?

A close friend of one of my children took MDMA, had cardiac arrest, and died. The doctors found that the drug she took was almost completely pure and much stronger than what she had taken before. She took a few grains too much of a powder. This doesn't happen with alcohol.

www.telegraph.co.uk/family/parenting/my-teenage-daughter-died-after-taking-ecstasy-for-the-fourth-tim/

@minimum97 you must on something if you think the risk of drugs can be equated with the risks of horse riding. Of course horse riding can be dangerous but learning to ride and knowing your horse can mitigate those risks. There is very little you can do to mitigate the risks of having a bad reaction to an ‘ecstacy’ Pill beyond finding a dealer and trusting them (not sure why anyone in their right mind would trust a criminal though) and allocating a number of your group to ‘babysit’ and trusting them to do so (but then again just how trust worthy are people who hang around in those crowds, will they actually take you to hospital if you have a bad reaction? Will they monitor you at all or will they just get drunk and not really give a shit?). Then there is the risk that you will be raped or fall into a body of water and drown etc inherent in taking any drug. Obviously ecstacy carries risks beyond the immediate physical risk, risk of addiction, risks inherent with consorting with dealers, risk of arrest and conviction which obviously don’t apply to horses. It’s very very silly to say that horse riding is riskier than taking drugs. Within a vacuum perhaps, if you took ten random people off the street and gave them each a horse and an ecstacy tablet they would be more likely to get hurt in the horse but in the real world it’s not even close.

@Racecardriver I appreciate you don't agree with my opinion but I think you might be able to restrain yourself from the name-calling. Just because someone has a different opinion to you doesn't mean they are "silly" or "on drugs". name-calling to try to shut down debate just makes you look silly not me.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.horseandhound.co.uk/news/38-riders-222-horses-killed-britains-roads-bbc-breakfast-highlights-shocking-statistics-617143/amp

www.horseandhound.co.uk/tag/rider-fatality

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.express.co.uk/news/uk/942701/Claire-Lomas-horse-riding-accident-London-marathon-robot-suit/amp

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/theconversation.com/amp/why-the-long-face-just-how-risky-is-horse-riding-58778

I think the people on here struggling with the comparison of the two activities (sport/drug taking) are failing perhaps to understand why people would want to take recreational drugs. I struggle to understand this as most people happily drink alcohol and surely understand why they want to do so.

And, in answer to a previous poster, people do die suddenly from drinking alcohol. People get into fights, fall over and hit their heads, drink way to much and choke on their own vomit. I am sure you can think of many more examples.

Statistically MDMA is relatively safe. Yes the risks around the fact it is illegal, and you don't know what you are buying (so therefore you may be taking something much more toxic) are real and the most worrying thing for me as a parent but I still don't think coming down on a teenager all guns blazing, or just gong down the line of "all drugs are bad and evil" is going to achieve anything other than make them want to do it more. They will know from their experience that this is not true and they will then not take anything you say about the matter seriously.

A proper conversation discussing why people want to take drugs and what the risks are of doing so is going to be much much more productive and help to make sure that a proper dialogue on the subject is kept open. I can't understand why that is so controversial!

MDMA is exceptionally safe, but what's sold as ecstacy these days is exceptionally rarely MDMA. It's usually closer to amphetamines, which aren't very nice.

I don't think OP's daughter was taking drugs anyway, partly due to the above and partly because that was a reach compared with being elbowed in the face which is unpleasantly common if you're a certain height :/

@minimum97? Name calling. Silly really isn’t name calling, especially within the context of its silly to say x. Irony aside if you then saying the oh so offensive word yourself in your next sentence

The reason why people aren’t jumping on board with your comparison is because it’s not a fair analogy. As I conceded, and happily acknowledge, in isolation a horse has more potential to harm someone than well made, correctly dosed ecstacy but this is in no way the situation in real life. I, and others, have pointed out the problems with comparing horse riding with drug consumption in real life scenarios. Yet you cling on to this meaningless statistic about how dangerous horse riding apparently is as if this somehow negates the danger that drugs pose or indicates that people believe drug used is dangerous as a result of prejudice rather than common sense. Your reasoning is incredibly flawed. That is why people are tongue in cheek suggesting you maybe taking ecstacy yourself. The horse riding is neither anolagous nor particularly relevant so why keep bringing it up as if it a valid argument?

Your reference into claraschu is also flawed. She was talking about sudden feat resulting from an overdose of a miniscule amount. This doesn’t happen with commercially available alcohol which is what most people mean when they talk about alcohol. It’s true that alcohol above a certain concentration can kill you instantly but that is just as illegal as ecstacy and definitely not what she was referring to when she said that alcohol doesn’t do that

In all my drug taking years I've not known it to cause death in anyone I know. I did know a teen who died from alcohol poisoning at a party. Not to mention people in my family who have died from alcohol abuse related illness. I don't know any drug addicts but many alcoholics. The main difference between drinking and drug taking is that one is just more socially acceptable. But what is the difference really? Both are taken for the same reasons and both get you high.

My point was that a teenager can die instantly from putting a tiny amount of something in her mouth while sitting in the park with friends. This is a hidden danger. Drinking enough alcohol to kill you is not something you can do in 5 seconds while chatting with your friends.

I think that kids are completely oblivious to the risk and the agony not just for themselves, but for the friend who was sitting next to them and the whole community around them.

@minimum97
Well bloody said, common sense on the issue

I'm only 20 and from the ages 16 up until now I've been to lots of concerts, my music tastes are on the heavier sides and lots of concerts I've been punched in the face, pushed over, kicked, it's not uncommon to be honest, I think that's a very big jump to make if I'm honest x

I'm not minimising the harm ecstasy can cause in some unlucky people, but it is one of the most widely taken drugs in the UK and is relatively safe. No consolation if you're one of the unlucky ones of course.
But many activities in life carry some risk. Driving aged 17 is way riskier than driving aged 40, but most people learn to drive young.

Playing rugby, horse riding, skiing all have some risk to them. We share information and training on how to make them safer, but we accept that they aren't risk-free.
I think we should take the same approach with ecstasy, personally.

I took a shit ton of gurners in my day but never got chafed lips. The inside of my mouth was sometimes quite knawed, but lips were fine!

I agree it’s a bit of a leap unless you have other evidence.

Having taken drugs myself too even if I was very cross and worried I’d try really hard not to judge or tell her off.

Just have an open conversation with her about it, plus I’m going to fully come clean with my daughter if she ever experiments but explain all the down sides and why it’s bad and use my life experiences. Up to you

Seems like you made a leap there. My kids are pretty conservative compared with their peers but at 18 and 16 I know what they've tried drug wise because we talk about it (I was never a drug taker).

Snogging seems more likely.

Talk to her. And don't be hypocritical. They dont love that and can sniff it out.

Well at least my motherly instinct is confirmed. Since posting I’ve been lightly mentioning drugs more and in the car today I was talking about my experiences with ecstasy, and she told me that she tried it that night and that she shared a pill with her friends. I guess I’m pleased she feels as though she can tell me (even if it took my manipulative conversations) and that she is sensible enough to take half. But oh god I’m scared now because once you try it, you do take it again (recreationally) and there’s just no way of knowing what you’re getting

She shared ‘a’ pill with friends and it was enough to make her lips go noticeably chapped and chafed?

I'd suspect a snogging session more tbh.

yep I was skeptical about the half as well but after a google I’ve seen that the amount in a pill is practically three times the amount that was in the pills from our time

Pills are very strong now so I wouldn't doubt she just took a half.