To think my dd took ecstasy?

[Elizab3thh]

Basically, my (just) 16 year old dd went to a concert on Saturday night and stayed over at her friends after which was all fine. However, she came back on Sunday with swollen, chafed lips- she said that she got knocked in the face at the concert but something felt wrong about it. Today, I’ve been thinking about my experiences as a teenager and remembered how ecstasy would make your jaw ‘gurn’ and cause you to bite your lips. Now the only logical explanation I can see for dd’s lips is this but don’t know how to broach the subject as I have no proof whatsoever. Am i jumping to conclusions? How do I ask her without seeming as if I am jumping to conclusions?

Another vote for stubble rash.

Regular past user, never happened to me or anyone i knew

You should have offered her a bacon buttie (unless she’s a veggie), hangover she would have eaten in, if she’s been on the pills = 🤢

Oh dear lord "putting herself in danger"! Do you wrap her up in cotton wool and never let her it if the house? Horse riding is more dangerous than taking ecstasy. Would you be posting this if she had been off horse riding?

Obviously ideally as a parent you will worry and you don't want your child taking any risks, but that's never going to happen.

If you think she is likely to have taken drugs or to do do in the future you would be better off telling her about the risks and dangers so she can make an informed decision and mitigate any risks if she decides to take them. She may decide not to. Getting in a panic and "banning" drug use is not going to work.

All those horse riders needing to wean themselves off their addiction , horse related crime must be a huge strain on public finances . 🤦‍♀️
Misuse of alcohol isn’t great either but at least with alcohol you know what you’re getting. You’re not buying vodka and drinking paint thinner .
Feck it - if kids want to take drugs I think we should just let them. The population is getting too high anyway , best we let those who want to live dangerously just get on with it !

@minimum97 seriously? Are you on drugs right now?

@OP my immediate guess would be pash rash.

Could be dehydration? Whenever I'm dehydrated my lips chap really badly and get inflamed and red and sore.

Add that to a potential smack/knock in the mouth and it'd be very sore. She might not want to tell you that someone hit her for whatever reason (not saying that they did - just riffing from your 'knocked in the face' mention in the OP) Also if she's been with a boy/girl and has been doing some pretty intense kissing she'd also perhaps not want to tell you that too hence the awkwardness.

Horse addiction is very expensive - people make bad choices feeding their horses better than their family, not washing the smell of horse pee off themselves and leaving a trail of hay and straw in their wake. Their addiction makes them very difficult to live with.

Just tell her to be safe and what not to do if she ever does them.

Like don't down 20 pints of water for example as you will drown in your own skin as your kidneys won't work properly when on E.

That was enough to put me off as a teenager 😁

The cold hard truth is normally the best. Especially as there is probably very little E in any 'ecstasy' these days and something more likely to kill her than have a good time.

I’d be frightening the bejesus out of her tbh . Watch trainspotting together ???

There’s a good episode in Breaking bad where a drug addict chokes on her own vomit . Watch that with her !

She's not snuck off and got lip fillers has she??
I'm completely reaching but that was my first thought rather than drugs it was always the insides of my mouth that got mash up
You wouldve been able to tell by her pupils the next day, that soft look around the face

Regular past user, never happened to me or anyone i knew

+1

This is not an mdma ‘thing’. More likely stubble rash. Or you know, she could just have had chapped lips from drinking and singing.

Ground her

&Purpletigers trying to ‘frighten’ someone like that using extreme examples is a terrible way to put someone off drug taking if they have already tried it and enjoyed it. Better to actually have a sensibke and informed discussion about the very real risks, where to get support etc. The risk of choking on your own vomit or becoming a heroin addict is basically negligible (or no greater than after getting drunk) and likely to reinforce the idea you know nothing and you just want to stop them having fun.

First time I ever heard drug misuse and horse riding being compared.

Have never taken ecstacy but it's deffo a speed thing. (Stupid teenager, never again, worst comedown ever, felt like I was falling off the skin of the earth)

E's do not make you bite your lips where you got this from I have no idea.

@JellieEllie Really? I thought it was a fairly well known statistic...

journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0269881108099672

Fairly old but I can’t imagine it’s changed that much (although I understand that a lot of drugs sold as MDMA are actually something else these days which is one of the key risks I would warn about (and be most concerned about)). However the point is that a lot of fun activities come with risk. Horse riding being one of them. My husband climbs, surfs and snowboards. All risky activities. One of our close friends fell and hit his head skiing (with a helmet on thankfully) and completely lost about a week’s worth of memory (luckily no permanent damage but a case in point). Fun can be risky. You can do things to mitigate the risk and still enjoy the activity. Or decide that the risk is too great or not one you want to take and not do it at all. That is the point of an informed decision. Or you could not take any risks and not do anything at all. But that wouldn’t be much of a life.

Teenagers are also unlikely to respond to “that is forbidden” approach. Much better to inform and educate and let them make their own informed decisions. Hopefully if they are going to take risks they will do so having mitigated some of them.

@Racecardriver I am not sure what exactly about my post would lead you to think I was on drugs!

Bloody hell OP... seems a jump. I didn't think anything more than my own tits up would make me bang my head tonight

I vote for stubbly snogs too

Snogging or secret fillers.
I've taken a lot of ecstasy and the only time I got sore lips from it was when I walked into a closed glass door and smashed my face. Luckily the drugs numbed the pain and I was able to enjoy the rave (early 90s)
I've never ever heard of sore lips from drugs...

minimum are you serious horse riding is more dangerous than ecstasy wtaf?
Put my 15 yo on a pony anytime

Sorry but got to pop in again.
How on earth can you equate sports/activities to drugs?!

Have you read MiniMum's link Loving?

It was fairly widely reported on at the time -
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/4537874/Ecstasy-no-more-dangerous-than-horse-riding.html

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2009/feb/11/drugs-alcohol-drugs-policy

Personally I think it's overly simplistic to compare drug use and horse riding solely on the basis of the likelihood of death or serious harm (horse riding has benefits drug use does not) but it's not a bizarre comparison people are just pulling out of thin air.

Sorry the spacing is a bit wonky there. There are two separate links - to the telegraph and the guardian respectively.