DH Dad turned up out of the blue...

[PeplumP]

I'm 20 days PP and still trying my best at breastfeeding my daughter. Told husband his parents can visit whenever they like as long as they confirm it with me first. This way I can say yes or no. I told him to give them my number.

I was fast asleep with DD (finally) and the door went. It was DHs Dad. I look a right mess, DD is now woken up. I'm totally flustered and in my pyjamas. Haven't had a shower.

I'm not going to make a fuss. He said he asked DH and he said it was fine. I'm going to have a stern word with him so it's clear he can't just turn up.

AIBU to be really annoyed by this? Currently sat with FIL and considering telling him how I feel (he's elderly however and very sensitive and adores his new granddaughter, so am considering letting it slide).

I see these posts a lot and I always wonder why you answer the door? My in laws tried to drop in a few times in the early days when DH went back to work. I just went upstairs ignored the door and later pretended I was out for a walk... After a few times they stopped and message now.

@theodoracrainsgloves it's more that I need to clear it with DH (out of courtesy) as opposed to arranging it without asking him. He's never said no.

@MasterSensei he has Parkinson's. He walked (shuffled) all the way from his house about 3 quarters of a mile away. I couldn't just leave him there!

@CaptainCabinets oh I know. I've had time to reflect (and sleep). He apologised before I even said anything so I just gave him a hug and told him not to worry. I'm far too soft...

"I'm far too soft..."

Oh I don't know-there's no point in turning everything into point scoring/an argument, is there?

I can sympathise with this...my FIL walked in one morning while I was sat in the lounge in a t shirt and knickers breastfeeding my dd...we had a front door that you could just open from outside unless it was locked. I learned a valuable lesson that day and never left it unlocked again. I also became an expert at hiding on the stairs and not answering the door to unwanted visitors! In all seriousness get your DH to have a word with them about not disturbing you without texting to check first, it's really not what you need at this stage.

"get your DH to have a word with them about not disturbing you without texting to check first, "

It was the husband who had told his dad that it was OK for him to visit!

I've just realised that...clearly the DH needs a strong word in his ear about getting confirmation from OP before he tells his dad it's ok to visit! Apologies for not reading all the replies

Perhaps when you're feeling less tired you could arrange to collect FIL in the car and go out to lunch somewhere. Give you both an outing and you wouldn't have to cook.

He would probably appreciate a change of scene if he has PD.

Why dont you have the door locked? Do hd's always just walk in?

"Why dont you have the door locked? Do hd's always just walk in?"

I think that Op answered the door to him after realising who it was as she didn't want him to have to turn around & go home.