to be freaking out about moving from London to Wales?

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Long story short: lived in London for twenty years, married a Londoner, have Londerner kids, love London, have great London friends. Now DH has been offered a job in Cardiff and its a great job. So we have to move. But Gosh I’m scared.

I know nothing of Wales. I went to Cardiff once with work and I didn’t love it. I’m thinking if we have to move maybe we should go the whole hog and live in the countryside but I can’t even work out what is commutable to Cardiff.

Are we going to hate it? Is it ever right to leave a place you love just for career reasons?

And if you are Welsh where would you live that is commutable to Cardiff and lovely and friendly and beautiful? We will also need good schools, maybe private but I’m open minded to state as well.

It's like any small city, nowhere is going to be like London.

Thanks for that Preston. Funny how I've never mentioned London to anyone in Cardiff for the past ten years. I came with a good attitude. I was born here and lived as a child. It didn't work out and it wasn't for the want of trying. Chip on your shoulder?

I think moving abroad would actually be less problematic than moving to Cardiff.

Another option would be to stay where you are and depending on your house size could you do an Airbnb type set up and rent out rooms or put a small cabin in the garden with en suite and kitchenette facilities or rent out your parking space if you have one.

I know a few people who do this to pay the mortgage.

One lady is disabled and cannot work and she rents out 3 bedrooms during the week during term time and her children come home at weekends and holidays.

Lovemademedoit - it's quite a major factor have to drive kids around to clubs though. It's something to consider - having to drive kids to school and to visit friends or do activities. Especially if you've more than one.

Not Wales but DHs parents moved to rural Suffolk when he was a teen he moved out for uni and never went back despite at times really struggling as a new graduate to support himself to stay in London and their door always being open to him. He hated it said it was full of people getting too involved in the business of others, racism and small mindedness, he didn't grow up in London but in an easily commutable pretty diverse suburb. His parents however have made good friends in the community and are very involved in village life now, it just depends on what you want. I would've happily bought a house in a little village but it was a veto from him because of his negative experience. So we've ended up in a seaside town that was a good compromise. Different personalities want different things, our uni choices showed that, he went to a big anonymous London uni and his life took place outside of that, I went to an old collegiate RG where I could walk into the bar alone as I'd know 99% of the people there and I loved that, we both wouldn't have enjoyed the other's experience. Think about the personality types you have in your family.

If moving to Wales would mean at least two sets of private school fees, is this really going to save you that much money? Got to say that I would avoid moving secondary school aged kids unless I had no alternative.

I don't know Cardiff or London but I did move and regret it.. here's what I wish someone had said to me: it's such a huge move, you need to be more than 50:50 that it's for you, you can always do it later if it's right but it's very difficult to go back (you're going to rent London house so not such an issue) and 'If in doubt, do nowt' I feel like I've been robbed of my old life because our move was quite quick and we were so unsure/constantly seesawing. I convinced myself it would be ok but in my gut I knew I was trying to justify it, hoping the more sensible option would be the best one. Toss a coin and see what your gut says when it lands.

Lizzie I'm horrified that you still feel so regretful after 10y, have you not looked at returning before now??

I'm not entirely sure what you're looking for, OP, but I'll give a shout out to Llantwit Major as I knew it well once upon a time. 30-ish miles outside of Cardiff and easily commutable. Wonderful place to raise children (often makes its way onto the 'best town' surveys), right on the coast, good transport links, nice housing, etc. There are loads of beaches and quaint wee towns nearby. Cowbridge is also lovely!

I agree with people saying to do some research and get familiar with the area. You know your family and yourself, you should be able to decide if it's a place you can live in and be happy.

DH didn’t tell me he was applying as he didn’t want to have the embarrassment of not getting the job.

I find this odd, OP. There's no embarrassment in telling your partner you haven't got a particular job. It does make it sound more like you have been blindsided now it's been offered. I agree with the pp saying your husband should commute for 6 months at least and not rush into a move. Could he ask for one day working from home to make that easier on the rest of the family?

Also, you mention continuing to work one day a week in London - how will that impact on the finances of the move, and more importantly on your health? I'm assuming you currently work FT - you'd be dropping to three days but one will be extra long and tiring with the London travel, so will you gain back enough rest time overall?

Llantwit is about half that in miles from Cardiff

If the OP thinks they'll have a culture shock moving to Cardiff, I don't think Llantwit is the place to go!

If you love London you are unlikely to love Wales. Very very different imo

Is it fair to put your kids through a move like this?

Difficult decision

How do the secondary age kids feel about the move? Could you not offer them an alternative like renting out your current home and moving to somewhere smaller? It seems awfully cruel to move settled and happy kids away from their friends - Cardiff may be lovely and they may make friends, or they may not - and then they'd be totally miserable. Is it worth the risk?

Mikado - I came back as my parents were getting old among other things. We stuck it out. The kids are both at uni now. Luckily I'm in a position where I can financially move back to London, or at least the outskirts. Both kids don't want to come back here to even visit so unless I move somewhere that they'll probably end up for work I won't see them so much. Also, the airport is truly dreadful I'd like to be closer to an airport that goes places I want to go at a more reasonable price. Perhaps I'll move halfway between Cardiff and London, who knows.

I wish someone had talked me out of it. It might work for the OP but it's such a big change. I had family and friends here even and it was difficult.

donajimena

The culture shock for a teen from London isn’t about the choice of museums or what play is on at the local theatre but being able to go out on their own. Jump on a bus or a tube to get themselves anywhere and biggest of all their friends.
Being taken away from their friends into an environment where everyone is a stranger and having to start friendships from scratch

I've lived in Cardiff and London. Whilst I did enjoy living in Cardiff, it's certainly not London! I went back for a weekend visit this summer and was shocked by the number of drunken hen and stag parties in the city centre - it felt like Magaluf in the rain! Bristol would be far preferable I think if you really have to move and easily commutable to Cardiff by train. Much more cosmopolitan and cultured, if you're used to London.

Are we going to hate it? Is it ever right to leave a place you love just for career reasons?

Personally I would look at this from a different perspective and say it's wrong to stay in one place just because you love it. You might be missing out on somewhere even better!

I've lived in a lot of countries, cities and villages over the years, mostly moving for love or work. I've never hated a place (IMO everywhere has something going for it), but there have been places I've really not enjoyed living. But that's ok, because nothing is forever, if you don't like it, you can always move back or elsewhere. And it all helps to develop character, perspective and knowledge.

preston that seems a bit unfair. lizzy is being honest about her experience. OP needs to hear people's genuine voices.

For those questioning whether we will really save by this move: yes we will. We currently both work full time, my job is much more than 9-5. With this move our mortgage and rent would be cleared by renting out London. We already pay one London private school fee so moving to two non London fees wouldn’t be a huge increase. We’d no longer need a nanny. DH would slightly increase his salary and I’d decrease mine by going to three days but that is easily offset by the fact our mortgage and rent would be paid and our costs of living would reduce.

Wow poor Cardiff! It can’t be that bad surely?

No where else in the U.K. is like London but it doesn’t make them bad just because they only have one museam and one theatre!

I love Cardiff.
I hate London.

Only you know what you want from an area. If you love London and are looking to live somewhere similar I don't think Cardiff will measure up. Llantwit Major, Cowbridge, Penarth definitely don't sound like what you are looking for.

We live 15 mins away from Cardiff. My DS went to London for uni about 7 years ago. He would not come back to Cardiff to live. He says there's nothing here for him. That may be because his job relies on the West End Theatres. Whenever he comes home for Christmas or Summer he's itching to get back.

Honestly, OP I don't think you'll be happy in Cardiff. You already seem to have a negative view of Wales and the Welsh.

And if you need a car in Cardiff I would have thought that would apply to anywhere outside London although I find public transport in Cardiff frequent and reliable.

MrsStrowman
Rural Suffolk is in no way comparable to Cardiff. What the he'll?

There's way more than one theatre in Cardiff. Just saying

Cardiff is the 9th largest city in the uk, just for info.