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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find it really distasteful to take photos of your children’s gifts?

225 replies

StarfishSandwich · 11/11/2018 21:29

I’ve noticed a trend on Facebook for mums to post photos the night before their child’s birthday of a big pile of wrapped up gifts. Or just as bad, after the event posting a picture of a big pile of opened gifts.

Since when does anyone want to see pictures of presents? It feels really tacky and showy.

OP posts:
SpecialLittlePrince · 13/11/2018 09:12

They don't care, they really don't. It's perfectly possible to say e.g a dress is hideous without caring about it.

And it doesn't mean you're a shit friend, shit human being, soulless bla bla bla if you saw a FB post of your friend in that dress and thought it was hideous. And it doesn't mean you care about her hideous dress.

EvaReady · 13/11/2018 09:21

Plenty of people on here saying they don't care what people think about them posting pics of their big piles of presents and yet they are still hanging around this thread too. There's a lots of not caring on both sides - so why the debate? Grin

ProfessorMoody · 13/11/2018 09:41

I disagree. If you genuinely didn't care, it wouldn't enter your head other than a fleeting thought and you certainly wouldn't spend time on various forms of social media and Internet forums proclaiming your disgust.

I don't care what people think of me, no, but I do care about people trying to look down on others. I'll stand up for that all day long - it's very sad to feel the need to name call, put people down, call them "classless" etc over something that they like to do that quite literally causes no harm to anyone else.

headinhands · 13/11/2018 09:44

It's akin to gathering up your most expensive items and uploading a pic to Facebook. 'Look at all the things I have (that might be better than the things you've got.)'

SpecialLittlePrince · 13/11/2018 09:48

Honestly, you're the only one who seems to care.

And I haven't proclaimed disgust anywhere, nor have most of the posters here.

It causes no harm to anyone if you want to post pics of piles of presents, and causes no harm if some people think it's distasteful.

It really doesn't matter.

ProfessorMoody · 13/11/2018 09:52

I said above I care, about people being horrid about others. If you don't think they have been, I suggest you RTFT.

You think nastiness doesn't matter? Again, I disagree. All nastiness matters.

SpecialLittlePrince · 13/11/2018 10:05

Yes it does. From both sides, which has been demonstrated here.

Oldgranny · 13/11/2018 10:43

Don't look, simples.

storm11111 · 13/11/2018 13:00

OP just wrap up a load of cardboard boxes and fill the room. Halo

howardbear · 13/11/2018 14:21

I used to do this until I read on here how distasteful/vulgar/crass it is and how anyone who does it must be bragging/insecure/it’s probably all rubbish etc and then I stopped because I didn’t want people to think that about me when it really wasn’t about that at all.

Problem now is I barely post anything on Facebook just incase people think I’m bragging; holiday photos nope, fun family days out nope, school fancy dress days nope...there’s always that thought in the back of my mind that there are people on my friends list that may think like most on here that I’m only doing so to show off Hmm

So now I’m probably thought of as being there so I can scroll and judge those that do, when in fact I’m there because I enjoy seeing what the people I know are getting up to, it’s just a shame they don’t see much of me because I’m too worried of being judged for it.

InProgress · 13/11/2018 14:28

I take this photo and put it on fb with a small collection of DC photos opening presents. I do it for the memory of that day so when I'm older (or pop my clogs) myself and my children can remember the day.

On a side note my DCs get final approval on the choice of photos. If they don't want a particular photo of themselves on it doesn't go on.

mostdays · 13/11/2018 14:29

My mum has lots of pictures of our Christmas presents under the tree.

Both my parents were poor as children, my mum very much so. There were no piles of presents under the tree or anywhere else. My parents worked very hard indeed to give my brother and I as much as they possibly could. They were not into spoiling for the sake of it- if anything they were known as rather strict and quite restrictive parents- but they bloody loved making a big deal out of Christmas.

There was, obviously, no facebook when I was a child in the early 80s, so the photos my mum has were not shared. They would have been, though. When you have started life very poor and got to a stage where you can give your own children a pile of Christmas presents without going into hideous debt for them, you value it. There's joy in it.

InProgress · 13/11/2018 14:30

Most people can post pics of their extended family on Christmas Day, I see lots of those photos. Whereas I don't have extended family so the day can't centre around that if you see what I mean.

mostdays · 13/11/2018 14:31

Oh howard, post whatever you want to post and don't spare the judgers a thought. If they want to go all cats bum mouth and label people as 'tacky' that's their problem, not ours!

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 13/11/2018 23:53

Howard post whatever you like. I, like most people, love seeing people's happy snaps on fb. If people think you are being braggy, that's their problem not yours.

MistressDeeCee · 14/11/2018 00:12

Must be people on Facebook who have less and feel like shit, seeing all that. I don't suppose that really matters though in the important of showing off

EmeraldShamrock · 14/11/2018 00:58

I think it bothers some because of the family who can't fill the floor with presents. They're looking at yours, probably thinking everyone's wondering in FB world why they haven't uploaded a photo, and if they do upload and it is not enough.
Then their DC would like to see pics of their cousins friends on FB, surrounded by gifts.
I try to be mindful of those with less.

EmeraldShamrock · 14/11/2018 01:01

Also meant to say Howard I loved to see peoples good news and holidays when I was on FB. The only part I was hmmm about was Christmas eve when the uploads of mountains of presents started at 1am.

Snitzelvoncrumb · 14/11/2018 01:48

I find Facebook is a bit of a competition for who has the best life. I noticed I felt like crap not being invited to something, or worrying I wasn't buying a thousand toys for my kids Christmas, even though I don't like to buy too much as I'm trying to put less focus on material stuff. I was comparing myself to others and if I'm honest I deliberately posted pics of a fun day out to make a point of not inviting a friend. I was trying to keep up with the Jones, which was what a lot of others were doing too and constantly posting crap. I realised what I was doing so I unfollowed everyone. I still have it to get school information, and read parenting articles that tell me I'm doing it all wrong. There is no need to post photos of every gift, every trip to the park, every play date, people get too caught up with worrying about what everyone else is doing. Why on earth do people need to check in? It should be called oneuponyoubook. I'm just glad I realised what I was doing. You shouldn't judge people that post all the present pics, maybe it's just their thing, but if you feel like you don't want to see that, just unfollow them.

dogwoofbark · 14/11/2018 02:03

My sister in law posts a picture of every single birthday and Christmas present she gets. Fucking demented.

"Ohhhh I got a Yankee Candle and another pandora charm. I'm so blessed by my gorge hubby."

Go fuck yourself and choke on your cheap 'bubbles' you simpering twat.

dogwoofbark · 14/11/2018 02:04

She actually poses with each one too. Cunt puffin.

AjasLipstick · 14/11/2018 03:49

Emerald and let's not forget, it's often those with the most money who buy the least gifts. My richest friend got her DD a minty sports mouth-guard and a new riding outfit last Christmas. That's because she has everything already. Oh and she always does a stocking full of sweets and maybe a little toy for a joke.

Useasinnertofind · 14/11/2018 04:37

Each to their own. But I do find it's the ones who do this and claim it's just because it makes them happy or they want it on their timeline are also the ones that get pissy if they don't receive 'wow!' comments or likes.

I don't mind attention seeking but at least be honest about it and don't try to dress it up as something else.

Snitzelvoncrumb · 14/11/2018 05:26

Exactly. You post things on Facebook because you want people to see it, it's the point of Facebook. There are other options if you want a record on your time line, or want to show immediate family. It's braggy, and that's ok, but don't make excuses.

LightastheBreeze · 14/11/2018 05:32

Its all sounds not dissimilar to back when camcorders were very popular and when you visited people they showed you their holiday videos. I suppose at least you don't have to use Facebook whereas it was hard to escape sitting through relatives holiday videos.

Fortunately I don't use Facebook.Grin

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