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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wash 7yo's hair in a bowl instead of in the shower?

86 replies

WhereforeArtThouManatee · 11/11/2018 20:00

DS hates getting his hair washed. He showers fine, washes himself well, dries off. But doesn't shampoo his hair in the shower.

I wash it for him 1 - 2 times per week, he leans back over a bowl in the kitchen and I give it a quick shampoo. Takes 5 mins.

DP is going mad over this, says he's 7, he should be able to do this. I think it's not a big deal, i didn't grow up with a shower and we used to wash hair like this.

Who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
TurkeyBear · 11/11/2018 22:35

How is he 7 and doesn't know how to rinse his hair? My son is 17m old and can half attempt to wash and rinse his own Confused

TurkeyBear · 11/11/2018 22:36

How is he 7 and he can't wash his own hair?! My son is 17m old and can already half attempt to wash and rinse his Confused

Cloufydafs · 11/11/2018 22:36

He's only 7. Still a child,what's the big Deal? If you're OK doing it for him in a bowl then continue until he's able to do it himself. Too many people wanting kids to grow up too quickly. he's obviously bothered with the shampoo in his eyes etc so wait til he's used to it more? I don't actually see a problem here.

TurkeyBear · 11/11/2018 22:36

Urgh double post. Bloody servers!

Cloufydafs · 11/11/2018 22:40

Cardcardcard. Shut the fuck up!! you horrible cold shallow creature.

CardCardCard · 11/11/2018 22:47

How is he 7 and doesn't know how to rinse his hair?

Quite

CardCardCard · 11/11/2018 22:49

Too many people wanting kids to grow up too quickly.

A 7yo wanting to move out of home and get a mortgage is growing up too quickly.

A 7yo not being able to wash his own hair...

Cloufydafs · 11/11/2018 22:51

Only cos you HAD to. You didn't have caring nurturing parents to look after you. Poor thing. What a horrible time you must've had being sent away. terrible Flowers

CardCardCard · 11/11/2018 22:56

Thanks for the faux sympathy Cloufydafs.

I can assure you that I’m more than happily compensated with where my wonderful parent’s decisions in my education led to.

CardCardCard · 11/11/2018 22:59

But back to the AIBU - yes, 7 is old enough to wash your own hair

Seaweed42 · 11/11/2018 23:01

My kids were like this, they hated the shampoo in their eyes in the shower. They used to stop the shower, then I'd come in and put suds in their hair and then use the shower head handheld to wash it off with their head tilted back. They got used to doing it eventually.
Get the no sting baby shampoo that doesn't sting their eyes. I don't see a problem with helping him with it until he's older or you find another way around it.

AW1992 · 11/11/2018 23:03

I think it depends on the length of the hair. Short hair should be manageable by a child of 7. Longer hair could need help with rinsing a bit longer. I'd say teach him how to do it. Give him the self esteem of being more independent.

angelikacpickles · 11/11/2018 23:04

@Skang My DD is 7 with bum length wavy, knotty hair and is nowhere near washing it herself.

This exactly. My four year old DS has short hair though so I suppose I can see how he might be able to wash it himself before too long.

bubbles108 · 11/11/2018 23:09

But back to the topic in hand, a 7 yo not being able to wash his/her own hair suggests special needs

😂😂

I think that apparently being unable to understand that everyone is different and that everyone develops at different stages, suggests a spectacular lack of empathy which could indicate special needs.

Or it could indicate a troll who is on a wind up 🤪

smithsally884 · 11/11/2018 23:10

I am with your dh.If he can't wash his own hair, he should be practising doing that, not having mum wash it in a basin.

Fruitbatdancer · 11/11/2018 23:16

He’s 7 not 17! If in ten years time you’re still doing it then it’s time to do something! If not then he’s just little and he has clean hair so I can’t get my knickers in a twist over it.

Orlandointhewilderness · 11/11/2018 23:20

hmm, honestly didn't know this was a problem?! my DD is just turned 7 and has long hair. i always wash it for her in the bath with a jug. should i be worried?!

BackforGood · 12/11/2018 00:01

Good grief card. I don't understand why you have such a problem with this ? Confused

Just because he probably can learn to do it himself doesn't mean you should stop doing this small thing that doesn't bother you and makes him feel good

I can make my own cuppa but I feel loved when someone else does it for me. YANBU

This ^ 100%
I'm sure most of us, as adults could learn to colour our own hair, and even trim our own hair, but, you know, most of us prefer the 'treat' that is having someone do it for us.
Then lets think about all the people that are happy to shell out £20 on a regular basis to get someone to paint our nails.

I'm fairly sure I could learn more about car maintenance than I know, but I actually am not that keen, so would rather get someone to do it for me. Doesn't make me incompetent at adulting, just means I am making a choice as to whether to do this task or not.

As it happens, I never wash my hair in the shower. I just don't like it. If I had loads of money, I'd pay a hairdressser to do my hair 3x a week, because it is just nice.

I feel quite sad for you card if you are so unable to comprehend any of that.

Sitwhereyoulike · 12/11/2018 00:15

Absolutely a non problem.
My Ds is the same age as yours. He has a beautiful mop of ringlet curls.
He washes his own hair although I do help him with the conditioner in making sure it's out and he washes his beautiful hair daily.
Teach him how to do it.
Job done.

Racecardriver · 12/11/2018 00:18

Why can’t your son wash his hair in a bowl himself? I wash my hair in the bath with a jug. There is no wrong or right way to wash hair so long as it is clean.

Racecardriver · 12/11/2018 00:20

@backforgood but it’s not like he’s going to be able to pay for someone to wash him hair everyday. It’s not analogous to getting a hair cut or paying a mechanic. It’s basic personal hygiene like brushing teeth or wiping one’s arse. Should the OP be doing these things to?

TheSmallAssassin · 12/11/2018 00:30

I think my kids were still washing their hair in the bath with our help at 7, either rinsing it themselves by lying back in the water, or one of us whooshing it off with a jug. They're perfectly capable of doing their own hair on the shower now they're older. It's not a race!

CardCardCard · 12/11/2018 00:32

Back There’s a world of difference between paying someone for a professional job such as colouring/cutting/blowdrying hair etc and not being able to do a basic wash!

Ok, the OP’s son is 7. Hopefully he’ll learn to do this basic skill soon. But theAIBU was whether her DH was wrong to want their DC to wash his own hair. And I think her DH is right.

BackforGood · 12/11/2018 00:34

because maybe he enjoys that little bit of closeness with his Mum ?

As a previous poster said - she can make a cup of tea for herself, but it is nice to have someone make you a cuppa.

I just don't understand why it bothers either OP's dp, or Card, as much as it does. It's a real non-issue.

There's no reason why a 7 yr old can't make a sandwich, but I bet there are thousands of parents on here that make their dcs' packed lunches for them. Do whatever suits you, as a family.

Cherries101 · 12/11/2018 00:34

Get him baby shampoo if the eye burning is the only issue. He will never want to wash his hair if mummy’s there to do it for him — he has to be taught that doing things for himself is good.