To be really disappointed that DP didnt come with me

[Stubbornuincorn]

DP refused to come to the Rememberance service with me this morning. He chose to go to the gym instead. It’s really got to me so I’m just wondering if I’m being U.

I was brought up to always pay my respects on 11/11. My brother is in the armed forces and I had relatives in both world wars so it means a lot to me and I told him that so I just feel shit that the gym was more important. It comes above most things in our life and I don’t often moan but today I feel let down.

AIBU?

This isn't what freedom looks like it's what apathy looks like.

He is free to be apathetic about Remembrance Day.

That’s what annoys me most @desdemonas - the fact that it isn’t because he has some fundamental objection to rememberance (he doesn’t, he’s taken part in the silence in previous years), It was just that he wanted to go to the gym

Yanbu. It was really important to you. You, his partner. That should have been enough for him.

People who say it bores them really are incrediably ignorant. The First World War pretty much shaped the world in which we live in today, it was the final catalyst that caused the collapse of the Russian Empire, execution the Tsar and his family and led to the formation of the Soviet Union. It also led to the rise of Hitler and the Nazi's in Germany.

We seem to celebrate ignorance in this country. We should be ashamed.

That’s great that you’ve done a lot of thinking and paid tribute in your own way @goldmandra but I’m fairly sure he hasn’t done any of that, squats are more important

Ive never been to a Rememberance Day ceremony. I’m Belgian and fully aware of the impact of the wars without needing to go to a service.

People who say it bores them really are incrediably ignorant.

Ignorant? How? I know about this stuff. I know why it is important. I still find it dull.

I genuinely would mind less if he had some really well thought out objections to why he didn’t attend like some posters on this and the other thread do, or paid his respects in a different way. But he doesn’t, and he didn’t. He just couldn’t be arsed.

I think you have two different issues here.

The remembrance day attendance is entirely personal choice and YABU. However I get the impression that you feel he is spending too much time at the gym and not enough to your relationship. That needs addressing separately to this and i have no idea whether YABU or not.

I’m fairly sure he hasn’t done any of that

You might be surprised. I don't know that any of my family are that aware of what's going on in my head.

I'f not, I'm sure that you could find a way to bring it up in conversation occasionally. Maybe put something on TV?

We go every year simply because I've been part of Scouting since 13 so it's become a habit. The DCs are also part of Scouting so follow the tradition.

I have nothing against anyone who chooses not to come; it's an entirely personal thing, and there've been a couple of occasions when DH has gone golfing instead of attending parade with us. It's freedom, isn't it? It means you're free to observe it as you wish and others are free to feel apathetic about the same thing.

My DC always go, DS2 was the flag bearer this year for Scouts. I rarely go because I find them overly focused on religion and I don't agree with that. I participate in the silence and wear a poppy.

I think it's really sad that people don't make the effort to go to remembrance day services, but they are quite happy to go over the top for Christmas (without even celebrating the true meaning of Christmas). Just another example of our consumerist and thoughtless society.

There was even a silence today in the Supermarket. Everyone stopped and the store was silent. It was quite moving actually.

The Royal British Legion's own position - contrary to what the likes of the Guardian claim when they pretend the Legion engages in "poppy fascism" - is, I quote, the poppy "honours all those who have sacrificed their lives to protect the freedoms we enjoy today, and so the decision to wear it must be a matter of personal choice. If the poppy became compulsory it would lose its meaning and significance. We are thankful for every poppy worn, but we never insist upon it, to do so would be contrary to the spirit of Remembrance and all that the poppy stands for." - and the same applies to remembrance services.

Nevertheless it does upset me when (live in Zone 2 London) so few seem to wear them or attend remembrance services today. If those men had not fought and died in the Second World War and we'd been conquered by the Nazis then I for one would now be an emaciated skeleton in a concentration camp about to be pushed into a gas chamber, rather than living the life I do. While I get the whole "the freedom they fought for includes the freedom to go to the gym than stand for two minutes honouring their sacrifice" I reserve the right to be disappointed at the attitude.

I am old. I had grandfathers on both sides in ww1. The one on the allied side was severely wounded at the Somme. He detested the solemnisation which he saw as an attempt to dignify the hideous suffering he had been part of, for no reason that meant anything to him.
We didn't wear poppies and I still don't.
My father was what might be called a hero in ww2. He felt very much the same, although he at least knew why he took part.
Remembrance Day is every bloody day.

How do you know there wasn’t a two minutes silence at the gym?

I think it's really sad that people don't make the effort to go to remembrance day services, but they are quite happy to go over the top for Christmas (without even celebrating the true meaning of Christmas). Just another example of our consumerist and thoughtless society

What an utterly bizarre comparison.

I’m an atheist. Christmas means family to me.

I don’t go to the service because I don’t wish to participate in the religious aspects.

Well, I celebrate Christmas because it wasn't originally a christian holiday. I don't really get the comparison to remembrance day tbh. See my previous post about it being overly religious. You don't need to be a church goer to appreciate the sacrifice made. Once again the church trying to take over everything.

And the word is spelt with 3 e's not 4.

I made this comment on the other thread, I just don’t understand why it is only on the morning of Remembrance Sunday that you find you have such differing views. Didn’t you discuss yesterday what your plans for Sunday were. Are you in a new relationship, what did you do last year?

Yanbu Men woman and animals (purple poppy) died to keep the freedom we enjoy today .
If it wasn't for them he probably wouldn't even be here today .

YABU

You don't get to dictate how your DP spends his day. He didn't try to stop you from going to the service. I can't see how this has affected you at all tbh.

itsgoodtobehome - you don’t need to go to a service to remember (my grandparents lived through the German occupation) and Christmas means different thinks to different people. I don’t follow any religion but still celebrate the holiday.

People dont all need boring ceremonies to remember. We also dont need well thought out reasons. That was the whole point to WW1 and 2.

By all means remember in your own way but YABU to expect other people to think the same as you.