Aibu ? Too 'early' to send wedding invitations out?

[HolidayAmaradillo]

Due to get married on the 1st of august. I've been badgering my other half to send out the invitations to his side of the family and his friends.
He claims it's too early. I claim that he just doesn't give a shit - not exactly the best start to our almost married life.
But here's the thing, our venue needs the numbers around the 10th of June, it's also a weekday and we've invited people travelling from 3/4 hours away so I'd like to make sure enough notice is given.
Also I want them out now as I had already sent out invitations but then the venue we had chosen closed down, scampered off with our money meaning that the invitations needed changed and I didn't want people trying to book a room within the previous venue I know that 6/7 months is Still a lot of notice but then if somebody can't make it, it allows us to quickly make up more invitations inviting others. Or am I just being crazy early?

I'd just send them now.
We sent ours in january, rspv date was the end of June for a September wedding.
We needed to have the numbers and menu choices in by the first week in July.
I miss wedding planning.

Isn’t this what ‘save the date’s are for?

Invites 6-12 weeks before.

I can’t see how people would forget about it - you’d put it in your diary and/or iCal!

We're getting married in march and haven't sent ours out yet! We did save the date cards in with Christmas cards so everyone knew date and everyone coming we see on a regular basis so know the plan etc.

We already have our holidays booked and planned for next year. Two reasons- school holidays so need to get the time in the office calendar and second if we don't book flights when they come out it will be too expensive.

Most people these days have email and mobiles so I'd either email or text to let them know of the date and then issue proper invites at least 3 months prior to the actual date.

But presumably you wouldn’t forgo those holidays for a wedding anyway, even if you knew about it? People shouldn’t expect that others will plan their summer around a wedding. If they can come they will, otherwise they’ll decline

If I knew the date of a wedding of close friend or relative, I'd absolutely do my best to plan holidays around it so I could attend. I'd not cancel anything prebooked unless it was in UK and potentially could be shifted

I think traditionally invited go out 6 to 8 weeks before your wedding date.

If you're getting married in August and want to send something now, I'd definitely go for Save the Dates instead of invitations.

I’d send them now. If people have what are now incorrect details you need to rectify that ASAP.

So either a mass email advising change of venue, followed by invites later or, as you’ve already got them sorted, if just send the invites now.

I can’t see any downside to sending them early, but there’s definitely a downside to not telling your guests the correct venue, especially if they could be already booking accommodation etc.

I'm confused. You've already sent out invites so people know the date so why are you worrying about them booking time off work? Surely they would be doing this anyway?

Why not just contact everyone with a quick email changing the venue?

Oh I didn't think of that ginger!! Our venue is now different and we've managed to prebook some rooms so anybody who wants to stay may need another day off work. I don't have everyone's email so can't do that

Whereas with the old venue it wasn't a hotel so they'd have to book somewhere close by if at all

You do need to contact people ASAP. What if some have booked hotels at the wrong location?

I was going to say the same as Ginger.
You just need to make sure you contact everyone you've sent the old information to, to let them know the venue has changed. You can say 'just in case anyone was thinking of booking accommodation or trains'.
You can send an e-mail to those you have the e-mail for and use whichever form of communication you have for the others - social media or a good old fashioned phone call. Up to you, but you do need to let them know.
It does seem very, very early to be sending the actual invitations out though.

I don't see the point in save the dates. If you know all your info why not just send an invitation? Who cares if it's sent out with 7 or 8 months to go instead of 6? Surely it's better, then people can organise themselves in enough time.

Exactly. I can see the point of save the dates if you know the date but haven't finalized the details, but if you know the details then keeping them from people just makes it harder for people to plan.

There's no such thing as 'too early' really. People aren't going to decide not to attend you wedding because they had too much notice!

If you have already sent out invites with the WRONG location on, you need to fix that ASAP, some people would have already booked accommodation.

just send out the new invites now and don't ask for an RSVP until end May. You have already sent them out madly early, so its no worse an error than that, these just correct the first ones.

I don't see the point in save the dates. If you know all your info why not just send an invitation? Who cares if it's sent out with 7 or 8 months to go instead of 6? Surely it's better, then people can organise themselves in enough time.

I agree. Seems to me that Save the Date cards are just another money making idea from a business.
Years ago I can see why wedding invitations went out just 6-8 weeks before but times have moved on. People have been busier lives. They have jobs they need time off from. They will often need to travel further. Weddings aren't small on your doorstep affairs anymore.

If you have the details, just let people know. Send an invitation out well in advance if you can. Give people time to make plans accordingly.

And we've all seen issues from vague save the date cards. Are you invited to the whole thing or just the evening? Who exactly is invited? Where is it? Will I need the day or a weekend free? And so on.

The reality is for most people 6-8 weeks notice is no where near enough notice to make arrangements, especially for a week day event.

Plus not may people need more than 8 weeks to book annual leave etc!

Most people I know need at least this long if not longer!
For me to have a term time day off work I need a lot of time for it to go through the various channels.
In school holidays in many offices people need a lot of time to arrange time off to make sure it doesn't clash with other colleagues, all fighting for the same handful of weeks.

The fact it's during the school holidays and one of the busiest weeks in the year for Brits taking their summer holidays would mean I think it's best to send ASAP.

Also given the change in venue causing possible confusion and you don't want people paying out non-refundable deposits in relation to the old venue. Is the new venue far from old venue?

Re emailing - I don't know about other mners but I very rarely check my emails, only if I know I am expecting one about a specific issue. So I'd recommend SM messaging instead - you know your guests and what they're more likely to see/check.

"I've never received a wedding invitation more than 8 weeks in advance of a wedding" as a full guest? As someone who used to work in the industry I find that hard to believe as most venues want final numbers a minimum of 2 months in advance of the date to plan catering orders etc.

And I certainly know plenty of people who'd need to be booking such a popular holiday time off work by February at the latest!

Derelict you seem to be thinking of where people are local to the wedding venue and only needing one day off. By the sound of things op's guests don't all live nearby and will need minimum 2 days off. If they need a full week or the long weekend following most people will need to book far more in advance than 8 weeks! I've never had a job where I had a hope in hell of getting weekdays off in the summer holidays just a week or 2 before they start! And I've worked in a wide variety of roles/industries.

Also uk holiday accommodation for summer holidays (used to work uk tourist industry at one point too) is not only booked up very quickly but it's much cheaper usually to book as far in advance as possible.

I don't see the point in save the dates. If you know all your info why not just send an invitation? Who cares if it's sent out with 7 or 8 months to go instead of 6? Surely it's better, then people can organise themselves in enough time.

We knew the date and wanted to tell people, but hadn’t decided on time or finalised the reception venue. Our save the dates were emailed out using a free online template, and just gave date and rough location.

Your previous ones were way too early. I’d file it and forget!

I’d send them around feb/March time

I wasn't even engaged this far in advance of my wedding! Send a save the date telling people about the change. Send invites 6-8 weeks before the wedding.

Also save the dates don't have to be that expensive. We just cobbled together a design in Microsoft word, printed them out, cut them out and posted them.

I've been engaged two years lmao.
I'm NOT sending them out 8 weeks before! You're really trying to hammer home save the dates aren't you snuggly?

No I just think you should try to avoid messing your guests around. I'm sure the venue change couldn't be helped but I wouldn't be impressed to have booked accommodation only to be told at the last minute there was a venue change.