To wonder how poor I am??

[Imustbemad00]

I know there will be varied responses from really well off, or ridiculously poor. I sort of class myself as low paid but not in poverty but would like opinions.

I have around 1000pcm after paying rent. 2 children. Out of this 1000 by the time I pay bills (council tax, car insurance, broadband, tv, car tax, parking permit, gas and electric) I probably have around 600 left.

That 600 is then for food, after school clubs, day to day stuff, clothes, shoes, and anything else that might come up such as school trips. Also obviously the odd luxury, cinema trips, days out, treats for the kids, birthdays, Xmas, maybe a holiday.

Do I sound really poor? I get by, pay the bills ect. But I really struggle with clothes and stuff, obviously prioritise kids, struggle to get all their bits and then end up never getting anything for myself. Going for a meal or a day out always has to be planned and saved for and obviously I have no savings.

I guess a lot of people are in the same boat.

Some of the comments on this thread are just awful. It's really bringing home to me what a vile place mn is! There does seem to be a race to the bottom here and some of the things that seem to be considered luxuries are just sad.

The pp who is going to be homeless that is just horrific and no one in this country should be in that position. That doesn't mean that the op is wealthy though just because she has a home.

It could be a different group of posters but I've recently read a thread where an op would have 100 left a month after everything. Most said that was no where near enough. They had included holidays, nights out Christmas and birthdays. I wonder how many people saying they could manage just fine in op situation have had too?

I can't believe how many people are saying your situation is 'precarious'. Your kids go to after school clubs, you have broadband, you can sometimes go out to the cinema or for a holiday. 'Precarious' is not knowing whether you can pay the rent or bills, or only wearing hand me downs, not having to skip Butlins this year. I can't believe anyone would think you're in the bottom 10%. Just unreal. Some of you are living in a fantasy land, and it's seriously insulting to those of us who actually live/have lived hand to mouth.

There are far far far FAR poorer people. You might not have some luxurious lifestyle, but that's most people.

I had mental health problems in my 20s and lived off beans, cereal, pasta and bread most of the time. Some days, I didn't eat more than a bowl of cereal. I was in a homeless shelter and sleeping on people's sofas for six months when I really lost it and even when I got it together, it was a struggle. I certainly wasn't buying new clothes or going to classes or paying for the internet. I could barely afford to pay the rent most months, let alone anything else.

We're pretty much in your position now, and I feel wealthy. I don't worry about paying the rent or buying food, we save up a little each month. That, for me, is basically luxury.

I used to live in Korea, and even though it's a developed country, the level of poverty, especially among the elderly, is something else. They get about $200 a month from the government and then most of them supplement that by picking up cardboard to sell to recycling plants, they make maybe $2 a day from that. Rent in Seoul is, minimum, $400-$500, then bills, tax etc on top of that. You see all these bent up old women, 80 years old, hobbling down the street, they are bent double, pushing huge carts of cardboard. Seoul is freezing in winter (-10 or so) and boiling in summer (35+ and humid) but they're still out every day. They normally live in tiny, badly constructed studio apartments which get mouldy really easily. I used to live next door to a family where three generations lived in one studio apartment, mum, grandma and two teenaged kids. That is the reality for so many people here, despite it being a wealthy country.

I honestly cannot believe you, or anyone else, would ever begin to imagine that you live in poverty. That is mad. People have become so used to having internet, a phone, after school classes, a TV package, that they honestly think those things are essential. We don't pay for TV or phones or any after school classes. Those things are not necessary, they're just mindless crap most of the time (classes maybe not.)

Honestly OP, count yourself lucky that you have no idea what real poverty feels like.

Some of these comments are disgusting. OP works and looks after two children, but she's "entitled" for thinking perhaps she'd like an occasional magazine or coffee? Fucking hell.

Some of the comments on this thread are just awful What's awful? People telling the OP to give herself a shake and realise that she's 10 times luckier than 90% of people in the world?

What I personally find awful is how utterly spoiled people are that they count this situation as anything like difficult/precarious/poverty-stricken.

There are people, not one or two, millions upon millions, many in our own country, who can't even afford to buy food. THAT'S poor. Anything else is just feeling sorry for yourself.

huggy It's not entitled to sometimes want a cup of coffee; it is entitled to consider yourself poor when you can afford internet, holidays, after school, treats.

If she had worded it like 'AIBU to feel pissed off that I work hard but still struggle' - yes, I can sympathise with that. I can't sympathise with people who can't see how lucky they are compared to so many others.

Do you have a roof over your head, food in your belly, clothes on your back, free medical care, access to medicines and education?

Everything other than this is a luxury.

I say this as someone who has lived in third world countries.

@Hisaishi

I don't think anyone on this thread has suggested that OP is in poverty.

And it's not spoiled to occasionally want to be able to buy treats sometimes. People shouldn't be made to feel guilty about that.

That link is such a joke! For a single mum with two kids in secondary school it says you require £36k. That works out at food bill, not including alcohol or cleaning products) of over £100 a week. No kidding, the population is overweight, that's a huge amount for three people. Then they had alcohol, OK under £5 a week but really, a necessity to not fall under poverty?

But more shockingly is the £44 a week on clothes. That's almost £3k a year. No kidding the high Street and online retailers do well. I am considered a high earner and I'd be ashamed to spend that amount of money on clothes for my kids and I.

And then you have weekly rent at... £90 a week... Well clearly not living in the SE!

I find it utterly shocking that any judge would consider it acceptable to spend half one's income on clothes than they do on rent or be defined as poor. If that's not evidence of consumerism I don't know what is!

Find it hilarious that the girl who lived has given a breakdown of her expenses to illustrate how much worse off she is than the op while including car insurance on the list. You can run a car. You aren’t poor ffs.

bitch I don't think people are wanting to make her feel guilty, God knows I go into shops and wish I could buy this and that too, who doesn't? I certainly don't cherish telling my daughter she can't do everything her friends do or that she can only choose one t-shirt or whatever. I'm not blaming her for wanting to have more money.

But it is spoiled to describe yourself as poor when you can get by and afford treats and sometimes a holiday. That is so much more than many.

@swingofthings I thought that about the clothing! I buy DS 3 or 4 new items a month from places like Asda at no more than £10 per item. New shoes a couple of times a year when he goes up a size. That's all he needs! I don't throw away clothes that are still in good condition until he grows out of them.

£600 isn't much and its possible to struggle on it but I think I can survive on it with 2 kids.

Have you looked at Free after school activities instead of paid ones ?

could you save up a bit to come off the key meter by next summer?

I think you should live the other way round. Have treats a few days before payday rather than a few days after pay day.

For winter clothes you could go to charity shops and you'll get almost new items for a fraction of the price. You can catch a bus to the next town if you don't want your pride to be hurt.

You could make your money stretch if you're willing to change your spending habits.

Do you have a roof over your head, food in your belly, clothes on your back, free medical care, access to medicines and education?

Everything other than this is a luxury

I say this as someone who has lived in third world countries

This is the UK in 2018...not a developing country.

Most people want to give their children more than just the bare minimum to survive.

former sure, they want to give their kids more, but not being able to does not mean they are poor.

I mean, yes, there is relative poverty. All my friends drive massive 4x4s, we drive a shitty little hatchback. We don't have a TV package. We don't send our kids to after schools/camps etc. So you can say it's relative poverty. But it's not actually the same as being poor.

I think what some people have to understand is that we are all coming at this from different angles. Someone used to having £300/m is going to consider it a lot, someone with 3k isn't. The truth is the vast majority of people do have more and by that alone the OP is at the lower end of the scale.

Indeed bitchQueen. DS only gets clothes from Primark or cheap online stores and only do so about twice a year. DD and I only buy on sale for things we need. I've long stop growing so don't need new clothes every month. £200 a month on clothes or less and you are considered poor is such an insult to what some genuinely poor people go through.

Then again, I've heard of teenagers having tantrums when their mum are not prepared to buy £100+ trainers when only earning nmw, so maybe it is abuse not to do so nowadays!

Imustbemad Please stop trying to justify and explain, you really don't have to. You're not bad at budgeting imo, I'd say you're stretching your money pretty well from what you've described. You're certainly not bloody entitled for daring to have an occasional treat or cinema trip, that's bollox!

Honestly it's very easy for strangers on the internet to airily declare that they can or would do it all better than you are and that their priorities are the right ones. You're doing ok but you're not lucky or well off or living like a queen simply because some people have less.

It's no wonder the gap between rich and poor keeps widening. If even the low paid and unemployed keep telling each other that they have nothing to complain about and shouldn't expect anything more from life how the fuck do you convince politicians and corporations that anything needs to change?

I don’t think 600 a month is a lot at all for all bills. Council tax, gas, elec, food, phone, tv licence, house insurance, car insurance, life ins (important with mortgage), food, petrol, car tax, one after school activity a week, wrap around care. I think 600 is tight. No way would I class that as comfortable. Just because others are on less doesn’t mean life isn’t tough for op.

What makes it worse is that I am 99% certain that the most purse-lipped miseries on this thread have never and will never live like this.

Maybe in lower end of scale but from she's discribi g, she and her kids are not getting much less than much better earning families. What more does she thi k she should be able to enjoy to not consider herself poor?

Jesus H Christ, even Victorian fucking mill workers took holidays, you low-expectation-having harridans

They didn't have a telly and broadband though.

Look, no one is saying 'don't hope for better' or that the situation in this country isn't shit. They're saying that, by comparison, no one could ever describe OP as poor.

purse-lipped miseries do you usually choose to insult people who have a different viewpoint to you?

Hisaishi

I'd say that not being able to afford leisure activities for your dc makes you poor in the UK in 2018. By leisure activities, I'm talking swimming once a week or brownies/cubs rather than skiing in the Alps.

You don’t sound entitled at all OP. I am in a similar position to you finance wise. I do feel lucky as we used to live a much much worse life than we did now. But that doesn’t stop you wanting to better your situation, nor should it. Some of the people on MN just love a bit of competition. If you had said you were having hideous pain with your wisdom tooth you would get hundreds of “you think that’s bad? At least you haven’t got (insert ailment) count yourself lucky” it’s ridiculous