To wonder how poor I am??

[Imustbemad00]

I know there will be varied responses from really well off, or ridiculously poor. I sort of class myself as low paid but not in poverty but would like opinions.

I have around 1000pcm after paying rent. 2 children. Out of this 1000 by the time I pay bills (council tax, car insurance, broadband, tv, car tax, parking permit, gas and electric) I probably have around 600 left.

That 600 is then for food, after school clubs, day to day stuff, clothes, shoes, and anything else that might come up such as school trips. Also obviously the odd luxury, cinema trips, days out, treats for the kids, birthdays, Xmas, maybe a holiday.

Do I sound really poor? I get by, pay the bills ect. But I really struggle with clothes and stuff, obviously prioritise kids, struggle to get all their bits and then end up never getting anything for myself. Going for a meal or a day out always has to be planned and saved for and obviously I have no savings.

I guess a lot of people are in the same boat.

The op is mot well off. she is making ends meet without massive hardship, but that is not being well off. it is surviving. a new pair of shoes for the kids, a present for a birthday party, going swimming , and her “leftover budget” is gone. not to mention christmaa or the kids birthdays. none of these are extravagant.

Always, it's not about struggling, it's about choices. Even people on a very good income have to make choices. If I spend on all the things I'd like to do, I'd be in trouble too, so I have to decide how I prioritise my money and that means that I will never buy supermarket sandwiches/salads which are totally overpriced. Of course, if I was desperate one day or really wanted one, I could do so, but so would OP, it's just mean that we wouldn't spend on something else.

I think the issue is thstv people compare themselves with others and assume that most people can afford to do it all or almost all and they are therefore hard done by. I go on very nice holidays but I never go to the cinema, don't buy alcohol at all, rarely go out, buy very few items of clothing and most from charity shops, we have t done any renovation on our house for years, no new furniture, no nice TV package etc... But I have a nice car (on lease) and fly away to exotic places so people assume I have tons of disposable income.

OP is able to offer a comfortable life to herself and her children, she just have to make choices on how to spend her disposable income, is this what people define as poor nowadays?

I don't think you are poor OP, nor are you well off, you appear to be what is commonly called 'The squeezed middle' like probably a lot of people.

Someone suggested she work more hours or look for better paid work. Its hard to do when your income is topped up. Every penny you earn extra is taken away from the tax credit/hb. You don't actually see it. Your working harder paying more in commuting, childcare. I'd need to earn 35k to feel flush. I'm part way through a degree which I will be qualified to earn that fortunately.
OP you most certainly aren't flush.

I hate this race to the bottom mentality. The OP is not well off, her financial circumstances are fragile to say the least.

The tories have brainwashed this nation

Of course everything is relative, but I would certainly feel poor in your situation, OP.

It is a low income but just about doable - the problem is the potential of something going wrong and there's no buffer. On a month to month basis clubs for the kids and food are the main expenses but clothes wear out, school holidays roll around, etc. Never saying yes to a treat is hard so don't beat yourself up - that lunch or coffee or magazine is sometimes what you need as a pick me up. Personally I would be thinking about how in the medium/long term I can increase income, kids get more expensive as they get older and such a tight budget for the long term is hard

Dona, most often working more for little gain is just an investment in the future. This is what I did when my kids were still young and yes, it was frustrating then but in the 10 years that followed, my salary through promotions (internal and applying for new jobs) more than double.

You can't have it all sadly and it is a choice whether to stay where you are wishing you are more money and feeling hard done by or you go for more with little immediate return for a higher one in the future.

More women seem to opt for the former and then resent those who've made the other choice when they finally get the benefits.

swing I agree with most of what you are saying. I'm just offering a different perspective. In my case I had a fab career which was untenable when my relationship ended. I took a job that I could work around the children. A lot of lone parents end up doing this which is why they end up in the JAM situation.
Fast forward to when you CAN go back to work full time you realise you are unqualified for decent positions and the wrong side of 40.
I'm extremely lucky I mispent my youth and didn't take up my university place when I was 18 and am therefore eligible now.
Anyway I'm digressing somewhat.

We have a similar amount left each month, sometimes less, for a family of 5 (DC are 9, 7, 4). I don't feel particularly poor. I shop around carefully for groceries & spend £50 per week. The boys all do swimming lessons (£69/month for all 3). We have new clothes, albeit from charity shops & hand-me-downs. We even manage the odd meal out or night out.

We don't do things like regularly buying sweets or coffee or packed lunches out & that makes a difference. Ds1 keeps on about having a 68 plate car but he knows we won't get one as we do have a car that works. But by and large we are fine & afford what we need, just not always what we want.

This has been an interesting thread.

I was walking back from the school this morning with my friend/neighbour who doesn't use MN and she was telling me that she has recently been switched over to UC and is massively struggling with 2 girls and a deadbeat ex who provides nothing.

I told her about the thread and she says that after her rent payment comes out ( she arranged to have it paid direct to HA ) she is left with £600 per month. It will be £700 in 9 months time as she is currently paying off her advance. This £600 is not dispaosable and is for bills plus food and everything else and she said that op is doing well.
I disagree but of course I never said that to my friend as I'm in a much better financial situation and help her where I can with hand me downs for her girls from my dd and often make meals and pass them over.

Just made me realise that some people are really living on very little and again, it's all relative.

Wish I had that much for f9od and other things at the end of the month. Spend wisely and you will be ok

I'd say that sounds tough (and those managing on less clearly have it tougher).

This month, I've had to spend £270 on car repairs and £760 on repairs to the house roof. We can do it (wincing slightly), but budgeting for that out of your £150 a week would beat me. And I'm quite good at lentils.

That's another aspect of the poverty trap - the fact that 'hard work' is no longer likely to get you out of it. A lot of desirable jobs demand a long period of working for little or no money before you get anything like a secure placement (which is why so many jobs in the arts and media etc are entirely taken up by the comfortably-off, upper-middle class young, whose parents can afford to keep them through two or three years worth of unpaid internships). And getting a slightly better paid job just means the equivalent comes off your benefits, so you are no better off and even if you might be learning a few more skills, there's a big gulf between low-paid, insecure work and a 'proper' job with a regular salary.

Poor can be relative. For instance, compared to DS's classmates we're not considered well-off, despite the 2 skiing holidays a year, 2 cars etc.

My friend has a £1.2m 5-bed house, sends his DS to private school, who comes back and asks, 'Daddy, why is our house so small?'.

Honestly, having these difficult conversations with your children about why driving to the ski resort rather than flying isn't child abuse is just one of those things we have to do #PrayForLeafyhouse

My point is, you can feel poor anywhere. If you can cover the basics, you're OK - but those numbers are definitely in JAM territory. And if your friends are all jetting off, it's utter misery. So yes, IMHO, you are 'Poor'. Sort of.

OP, I think writing down everything you spend and seeing where you could make savings is a good idea. We have very little left after mortgage, childcare and bills at the moment because I'm on maternity leave with our second, but that was our choice so we are lucky enough to be able to get by for a few months on just one income and then once I'm back at work in January we'll be doing okay but definitely budgeting for any 'big' purchases and prioritising savings rather than any holiday for the next few years. No chance of replacing bed or sofa etc until we stop paying nursery fees. One thing that does help is buying as much as possible from charity shops in 'posh' areas. It's amazing how cheaply you can pick up good quality children's clothes if you hunt. Appreciate this can take time though.

No.

I'd say having less than £75 after bills per week would make you poor.

You're just low income, slightly more than me.

You don't sound poor to me, you are covering all of the essentials and bills and that's great.

My mum when I as younger I would class as poor. We had times when we couldn't have the heating on as we couldn't top up the card,
There was no food in the house at times of the month she struggled to cover the bills and eventually we got evicted from a council house for non payment of rent.
I didn't have fitting clothes etc etc

It is hard paying for childcare etc but hopefully eventually your out goings will go down and you will have more funds to spend.

I def recommend strict budgets and if you can come in under budget for things that will be a nice little extra you could save for fun things for yourself :)

You really need to factor in annual costs as well.
MOT cost, Boiler service, Birthday presents, car breakdown.

That spread out over a year could be another £40 a month.