To have not left my DH alone in the communal changing rooms

[IHeartFood]

Went clothes shopping this morning with DH who headed to the changing room to try his clothes on. I hadn't realised it was communal til we saw a girl walking in before us. I was happily about to walk away to have a wonder round the shop when it hit me that this women could easily accuse my DH of anything & without any witnesses it would be his word against his so I decided to stay with him. I did feel abit silly but since the whole Roxanne Pallet/Ryan Thomas thing on BB I'm just more aware of these types of situations.

WIBU?

Come on women, ensure we protect the men from those crazy lying changing room women.

unicyclethief I was expecting the OP to say that she was staying to make sure the woman was comfortable too. I was ready to say she WNBU.

However OP I am changing that to YABU due to your reasoning behind it.

My husband was recently accused of coming on to someone when he didnt recently. I think it was a genuine mistake, he sarcastically said something along the lines of ‘yes, because if otherwise try to kiss you wouldn’t I?’ after being told that he wasn’t allowed in a staff bit of a shop (his sense of humour is off colour/very sarcastic to say the least and the poor girl didn’t get that he wasn’t serious). He was very put out by it. I think that a lot of men underestimate how threatening they can seem to some women. I can see why you might feel concerned about a communal changing room. It’s a recipe for these kinds of misunderstandings.

Well racecardriver if men stopped making comments about trying to kiss people, maybe women wouldn’t feel so threatened?

Nothing wrong with protecting yourself. If it's communal he's not obliged to make a woman 'more comfortable' by not existing. I don't think there's any harm in avoiding random although rare possibilities of accusations.
They are rare but I've seen it happen myself, twice with police involved and it's never been the case.
Also a relative of mine was once a toilet attendant for men and women's loos and the second a female appeared he would leave where he was, not just for them but also so he was protected.

Are you this anxious in all your life?

False accusations are vanishing rare so it’s a weird thing to change your behaviour for.

How suspicious are you of your own sex? [hmmm]

Bonkers.
You are living your life in fear because of Roxanne Pallettes false allegations, that's the one thing you have taken on board? What about the thousands of very real allegations that are real? Are you not more concerned about those? I think your view of women is a bit strange.

This wouldn’t even have crossed my mind. What a crazy thing to think about.

My husband was recently accused of coming on to someone when he didnt recently. I think it was a genuine mistake, he sarcastically said something along the lines of ‘yes, because if otherwise try to kiss you wouldn’t I?’

Maybe., You had to be there. But I fail to see how this was a joke?

I also think it's an over reaction, there will be plenty of times when you can't be with your DH.

It's a shame you feel you have to do this OP.

Yabu. Why would a stranger accuse him of something for no reason?

I’m not a fan of mixed changing though. Our local h&m has the men and the kids in together

False allegations are not as rare as you may imagine OP has a valid point.

I’m another one who was expecting the OP to say that she was staying to make sure the woman was comfortable too.

Does your DH accompany you into unisex changing rooms? Because the chances of you being assaulted in a unisex changing room are far higher than the chances of your DH being falsely accused of doing so.

Just when you think you've heard it all...

I do not understand your logic at all. If you'd done it to make the woman feel comfortable then ok(ish) but to assume someone could accuse your husband of doing something seems to indicate a high level of distrust in your husband's behaviour. If I'd been the woman I think I'd have been more suspicious of you than of him.

Well women are never believed anyway so why worry?
He's far more likely to be guilty of inappropriate behaviour than be falsely accused of it

Tbh not sure I really believe you.i think that you didn't want him.accidently seeing a woman half dressed or you don't trust him not to look and you are dressing it up.as worried about false allegations which if you were genuinely concerned about you'd have to follow him eveeywhere.

My apologies of course if I'm.wrong

What shop was this? I've never seen communal changing rooms in shops.

Oh my god people ... I really think are over thinking your responses.

It was a judgement call in this one situation. As I've said the shop was quiet, no staff about & my instict just kicked in.

I'm not suggesting all women are out to accuse every man of assualt but it does happen & I was just being overly cautious.

I watched an interview ages ago with the parents of a young lad who was falsely accused of rape. He left home, went missing & after years of searching his parents found him abroad in a mental institution have had a breakdown. It was a very sad story that I still remember & although a very extreme situation it just stuck with me.

I agree I over thought the situation but given the circumstances I just made the decision I felt comfortable with.

Most places are covered by CCTV so any accusations/mis understandings can be easily cleared up but in this instance the changing rooms were unmanned, obviously no cctv & secluded at the back of the store.

Your instinct is misogynistic and a clear example of rape culture. It's poisonous.

Ffs seriously?

Yes yabu

I realise I was probably over thinking the situation but in the moment my instict just said to hang about to be on the safe side.

'Probably'

Sorry, OP, but I agree with others that your thinking here is skewed. What’s more likely;

• a young woman being nervous about sharing a changing room with a random man, or
• a young woman accusing a random man of sexually assaulting her?

If I found myself in a communal changing room with a young woman, my first thought would be whether she might feel uncomfortable with my being there. Not whether or not she might accuse me of inappropriate behaviour.

Your actions weren’t unreasonable, but your reasons were.

We’re the ones that are overthinking