To be annoyed by ex and new girlfriend?

[Twattyex]

DS went to his best friends birthday party today, I couldn’t take him because my youngest is ill, so asked ex to take him. He agreed, the party started at 1pm, and I just got a text from one of the mums at the party saying that he brought his girlfriend of 5 months. I don’t understand why she’s there, the party is only for 3 hours and is one of those where you have to stay with your child, so they’re all there. And I didn’t know he had a girlfriend until one day he picked DS up from school and DS came home and told me daddy got a new “friend”, so confronted ex and that’s when he told me he met someone, and he’s only known her for couple of weeks when I confronted him. He met her just before the summer holidays.

Feeling pretty shit tbh.

Thank you for those who understand.

Although me and my ex have said we want to meet each other’s partners before introducing them to our son and it has to be serious before introducing them, that would annoy me if he just introduced a GF without at least informing me.*

This. We don't have that kind of relationship, he does what he wants. I've even asked to meet his girlfriend but he refused, which I don't really understand . If he asked to meet my boyfriend, I wouldn't mind?

Tbh i wouldn't want to meet you if i was her with all your "confronting"

You're not over him. Meeting his girlfriend isnt going to make anything better.

I find the comments on here really quite mean. Ex could easily have said ‘oh, btw I thought I’d bring GF along to the party’ and I bet this would’ve been easier to swallow. I haven’t walked in your shoes OP but I think I’d be the same as you. Plus I imagine GF will be mixing with your friends or school Mums that you know and it will feel at best odd. At worst they will gossip.
I’d hate it, I know I would. Maybe I’m just not as strong as the other posters. x

I wouldn’t want to meet you either. I refused to meet ex gf when e tried to introduce us. I do t want to meet her. I wouldn’t want to meet my BF ex either. Especially not if she thought she was for confronting me.

And it doesn’t really matter if you would mind or not. She doesn’t want to.

Do you have a boyfriend?

I can see where you are coming from and understand why you feel upset.
To whoever said you should be over it within 9 months clearly hasn't ever loved someone with all their heart. If you were with him 10 years there's a chance it could take a lot longer yet to be over him so for that part it's ok to still feel raw.
I do however think YABU, as long as this woman treats your children with kindness and respect you should be grateful that there is someone with extra love for them.
The best thing you could do is to be nice to her and your ex, they haven't done anything wrong here and one day when you are in a new relationship and also happy you will understand that.

I know sometimes emotions run high with exes but you should probably be pleased that his girlfriend is interested in taking an active role in your child's life, she could be doing the opposite and taking him away from his child but she is getting involved which is a good thing if they are planning on being together for the long run.

I've even asked to meet his girlfriend but he refused, which I don't really understand

Why do you want to meet her though, especially when you're not over the break-up?

I think you must have misunderstood me, I know the word "confronting" sounds aggressive, but I was honestly surprised when I found out he met someone new and just asked him, I was angry or anything like that.

Those who say they wouldn't want to meet me, can I ask why? It was ex who refused to introduce us btw, not her.

@Isthereeveranexcuse no I don't have a boyfriend, and don't plan to for a long time.

I can totally understand your upset but who he sees when he has his own child has zero to do with you, one of the things people have to get used to as a separated parent. And they can be together whenever they like, you seem a bit hung up on the "3 hours" thing as if he couldn't go that time without seeing her? I would want another adult with me at a kids party that's for sure!

I would be annoyed too, I get how you feel when there’s a new woman in your children’s lives but there’s not really much you can do about it to be honest. 😐

If she’s willing to go to a 3 hour long kids party, maybe she will be a great step mum. I can’t stand kids parties 😂🤔

I would 100% expect to meet anyone dating the father of my children if they were having contact with my children. This could be someone who is involved in putting my children to bed, taking them to the toilet, caring for them either now or in the future. How odd to think you wouldn’t want to meet her?! She might be absolutely lovely and I’d hope so but that doesn’t mean that you wouldn’t want to meet her. I’d think it was better for the children too. Some really odd responses on here.

I just don't want to meet my bf ex wife. She is nothing to me - if I meet her naturally that's one thing, but I don't want to be organised to meet her like some sort of big thing. No way.

You can't say how you would feel when you don't have a boyfriend, and even what you do - it's nothing to do with what he does. People say all sorts of things about getting the partners introduced and stuff until it actually happens and it often doesn't stay the way the two people thought it would when they were splitting up.

Does your bf have kids with his ex wife isthere?

I would refuse to be interrogated and interviewed by my boyfriend's ex. If he trusts me to be around his child, that's enough (he has primary custody, she has supervised custody in a contact centre)

My bf has his child all the time.

If she wanted to meet me, I would say no to an arranged meeting. If we met at a handover or similar, I would stay out of her way as much as possible. At the moment that isn't an issue, due to her circumstances but it will change at some point in the future.

I still won't want to meet her like some kind of interview. No way.

@Isthereeveranexcuse I think it's different in your situation because your boyfriend is the primary carer of the children, so you don't see the need to meet her.

They don't live together now, but if he does move in with her, know I will meet her sooner or later at drop off/pickups.

I'm not planning on "interviewing" her , just a quick hello will do.

I won't say hello to her unless she speaks to me, in which case I will reply.

Why do you want to say hello to her so badly? What will that achieve? I genuinely don't get it.

That’s completely different if he has primary custody :s it would be weird if you refused if she had primary custody though

I've been out with men who didn't have primary custody in the past and I still would have refused to meet their ex in a set up kind of way.

I wouldn't let my ex do it to my boyfriend, I don't expect it done to me.

If I am good enough to look after my kids, I am good enough to decide who to let into their lives. For me, it's that simple.

I don't understand what the meeting is for, I suppose.

I mean, what if you don't like the person? Are you expecting a veto? Or to control what your ex does in their time?

Well, I would like to see who my children are around. And like I said if they end up living together she will take care of them one way or the other, my children are under 7. So imagine if they end up being married for 25 years, wouldn't it be weird you've never met your children's stepmother?

I don't understand why you're so against it, what are you scared of? And do you have children?

YABU.
Not only was it last minute but I can completely understand why he wouldn't want to make small talk for 3 hours with a group of people who had text you to stir even before the party was over

i wouldnt allow my ex to meet any new man i might meet and i wouldnt want to meet any of my exes new gfs.
controlling springs to mind!