Husband going to a stag and wedding abroad

[Iloveeating]

I probably am being unreasonable.

I don't like my husband's brother, years ago he made some horrible comments about him deciding if myself and DH get to stay together, that he could end it if he wanted to. He made other comments then about a year after that saying my husband wasn't moving to my town as he has responsibilities in his home town ( he had no kids or job there so don't see what he was talking about where I had job where I lived etc).

This brother is getting married next year and wedding is abroad. I don't like him and have no intention of spending money on someone I don't like so I'm not going to the wedding.

Here is my unreasonable bit! The wedding is in a location very far away from airports etc and flights only go a few times a week so my husband was convinced to travel with wedding party as the venue is 1.5 hours away from destination airport (as well as us being 3 hours from departure airport as our local airport doesn't fly there). Turns out now he will be gone a week! Message comes in during the week that the stag is abroad as well, 2 nights (3 days) and I just think it's so unfair I'm going to be left alone with kids while he goes off twice for long periods of time and the cost involved as well. I hate the thought of all that money being spent on someone I dislike.

Personally at that amount of money alone I would be absolutly fucking livid.... but I wouldn't say anything coz I would know

A. He's never going to miss his brothers wedding or the stag do
B. If I stopped him going he would resent me for it and id never hear the end of it.

But yeah. I would be absolutely seething. Lol I'm getting angry just imagining it was me 😂

Good luck.

I've been to a few weddings and hen dos abroad and they do cost a small fortune. That said it's his brother so not much you can do. Good on you for not going though, if you don't like him

I agree with you.

His brother chose a wedding and stag abroad he should accept that people can’t afford it.

IMO it is so selfish to get married abroad and expect people to pay.

Your children are going without because of his brother

Your DH should put you and his children first.

I can not believe people think this is ok.

What is so sacred about the family holiday?

What is so sacred about a destination wedding?

It’s his brother. Suck it up. Go to the wedding and treat it as a family break.

Your children are going without because of his brother

Your DH should put you and his children first.

You missed the point. If the Op liked the brother then they would ALL be enjoying the destination wedding. It's not about weddings abroad. Op doesn't want time and money wasted on someone she doesn't like. And obviously her husband feels a bit differently as its his family.
Neither are BU but one of them has to compromise. As a one off event the wedding wins.

What is so sacred about a destination wedding

Well, I wouldn't say either is sacred, but my brother will (hopefully!) only get married once, whereas I can go on a family holiday every other year of my life. So I'd obviously prioritise my brother's wedding.

It is not unfair that somebody goes to their brothers wedding! It is entirely normal. You are being petty by refusing to go because of one remark years ago and also stopping your children going to their uncles wedding. Not sure why they can't go even if you do want to sit at home sulking.

@donttalk @lasMeninas - the latter has summed it up nicely.

I think the Stag do is a step too far.

Yes he should go to the wedding (assuming the money can be found) but the Stag do isn't necessary and it's too much money.

How long ago was the comment and how old were you all? A nasty comment by someone in their thirties is far worse than one by someone late teens/early twenties. How has he been since apart from that? Why do you not socialise with the brother but will with MIL who seems to dish it out on a regular basis?

Of course yabu. And you know it 😀