Inexplicable Things Relatives Say

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

I remember, walking across my Nan’s lawn, aged six and a half, to greet my great-grandmother who was perched on one of those funny garden deck chair things, (the ones that folded out, all poky metal and blue stripey plasticy material seat) eating a cress sandwich.

As I walked into her line of vision, she exclaimed, so it tringed across the garden,

‘Doesn’t she look like Princess Anne?’

I was six. I was wearing flowery culottes (summer 1992) I had a scrunchie in my hair.

How the fuck did I look like Princess Anne?!!

I would continue, in her eyes, to look like Princess Anne for the next 22 years. Even when shown a picture of me in my graduation gown she (90 at the time) grasped my hand, milky-eyed, and whispered ‘oh you could be Princess Anne!’

After she died I sort of missed her saying it so I looked up photos of a young Princess Anne.

I don’t and have never looked remotely like Princess Anne.

thanks for that, you just made me laugh with a mouthful of tea!
DH thinks I've gone mad!

My gran used to say I'll have a " fag and five"

Never smoked in her life , and was the most genteel lovely lady in the world which made the phrase so odd coming from her

I think that is a lovely story, and she must have loved you very much!

My own examples, are dm on hearing I was pregnant with dd2 saying "Oh God, not again!" I was 32, with a partner, mortgage and career, and one toddler already, I really can't see what was so surprising or terrible about the news! She also loves the dc and is a very involved dgran!

Also inexplicable was dmil's statement, when enquiring why I didn't copy sil in all her poor parenting choices, when I suggested that they weren't the current advice "I don't believe in evidence".

I remember having the opposite conversation with my Grandmother. Looking at my dsis wedding photos she pointed to herself and announced "If I thought that was how I really look I'd shoot myself" I had the sense not to say that she looked exactly like the photo.

When we told FiL that we were expecting DD1, he turned to DH and said with a leer, “so you did the business then, did you?” Not quite the reaction we were hoping for!

spud

🤢🤮

Ah that's really lovely. My Nan always said I looked like a yard of pump water. It was complimentary, or at least was supposed to be, because I was very slim and tall.
Also can I just express my gratitude for you using the word inexplicable rather than the hideous unexplainable which seems to be creeping into use now.

From my DGM when I was about 12: "you'll never be pretty, even if you lost weight you'd still be, you know, plain".

Hasn't scarred me for life or anything 🙄

Princess Anne I would love to know why she chose her!!!

My gran said to me aged nine, 'I brought you these, so you could use them, you know, as dusters'. She handed me a bag of well earned grey belly basher knickers. I apparently replied that I didn't dust. I just remember feeling horrified on every level.

Well darned

When I was a skinny 16 year old my DF used to call me a racing snake!!

I was a skinny child. My SF said I was a galloping hairpin. My mother said I was a long streak of piss

What is it with grandmothers? Mine once made a snide comment about my weight gain. I was a size 8 at the time with an eating disorder but she saw fit to remark on my stomach. Next thing she was handing out a platter of chocolate biscuits

When my son was born my nan had no qualms in telling me it was a shit name. ‘Xxxx, what kind of name is that, thats shit name for a boy’
I told her she had better get used to it as I ain’t changing on the count of her Judgey bitter opinions. Never heard a word about it after that but it just pissed me off she spoke like that about her great grandsons name.

My aunt, a professional photographer, about to take a photo of 14 year old me: "no no, don't smile , you're prettier when you don't smile". FFS

Following for lols

at some of these!

Thanks stompy, I think she must have done

What is it with grandmothers? They're half a century away from you in terms of social norms? My grandmother was growing up when Queen Victoria was on the throne.

What is it with grandmothers?

My grandmother was a pragmatic, sensible woman. "What's done is done, now let's make the best of this situation, can't turn back time" seemed to be her mantra.

My Nan- "I don't know what's happened to you Naughty. You used to look lovely all the time, hair done, nails done. You don't make any effort anymore. Even our babby looks better than you now."
Managed to insult both me and my sister at the same time!

My grandmother on seeing a female relatives new baby - thank god it
doesn't look like its father.

From my own DGM...."A blind man on a galloping horse wouldn't tell the difference" (would pass muster, if not examined too closely) and "You can get over anything, bar hanging". I miss my DGM :)

My papa comes away with loads of random sayings and insults

One time, I dropped in to see him after the gym, obviously wearing gym clothes. He said ‘where you been, what you wearing that for?’ I said ‘I was at the gym papa’ his reply, ‘was it closed then?’

Another one that had me in fits of laughter the first time he said it ‘they say the pen is mightier than the sword, but you try cutting corned beef with a biro’

He’s 80 tomorrow bless him